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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Headlines Unseen September 19, 2004 10:50 am

Posted by djuggler in : Daily Life
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I was thinking about the hurricanes (noaa). We never hear about Disney World (mistyping that url as disnet is worth a look) taking any hurricane damage. I bet they control the weather. They must have a weather shield otherise we would hear headlines like:

"Peak of Disney Castle Knocked Off. Skewers Large Rodent."

Disney officials refused comment except to say, ‘The park does not have a rodent problem. If there were any damage, and we are not confirming that there was, it will be magically repaired overnight.’

or

Page 1: "Tinker Bell Blown to Sea"

Page 3: "Merchant Ship Reported Flying"

Crew reports ‘being happy’ after a scantily clad female appeared on their boat and offered them ‘dust’. The coast guard is investigating.

or "Epcot Rolls Into the Gulf"

The shiny ball has attracted thousands from Mississippi and Lousiana into the Gulf of Mexico where the world’s largest game of water volleyball has ensued in the wake of the hurricane. Texas refused to play because ‘our guns might get wet.’ Alabama was denied access to the Gulf because they would not promise to abide by the Rules of the Ool. Florida refused to play because ‘the bridge is out. We can’t get there.’

In entertainment news:

"Neilsen Reports Iraq War Ratings at Their Worst"

The program may not be able to recover and is slotted for cancellation after one more season. Reality Television Network consultant Roy Wear believes the program can be saved. He says, ‘Excluding the opening show, its ratings were highest at its sexual content. To save Iraq, there must be more sex! We are recommending to the Pentagon a new image for the female soldiers based on a camo version of the Hooter’s attire. We also think there should be more interpersonal relationships between soldiers aired.’ Other recommendations not suitable for print. We interviewed solder Exavier Herb Istchtonicht. Ex had these comments, ‘They shouldn’t show me having sex with other solders. That’s just not something my wife in the US needs to see.’

Ah! A little blogging therapy goes a long way!

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