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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Blended Families and Lies March 24, 2006 9:56 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, Sarah
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Back in January Kristy wrote that she’d like to see more blended families discuss the step part.

Being a step-parent is hard work. The dynamics of the family change almost daily. Dealing with step-parents, biological parents, kids related in all different combinations of blood and marriage… It is difficult. … I know of a few blended families that I read online … but … I don’t read a lot about the ’step’ part.

Like many of Philip’s posts, I thought Kristy’s an inspiration for writing material. Here it is the end of March and little to no references on Reality Me to step-parenting.

Writing about the step part is difficult for me because I don’t view the children as step children despite being their stepfather. I do not want others to think of my children as stepchildren and, despite the awkwardness, I even allow other people to address me with the wrong last name on occasion. We de-emphasize "step." I think it has come up in discussion with either Noah or Sarah once and we pointed out that Amy and Evan are their brother and sister, and technically, if a qualifier was necessary, they are halfsiblings not stepsiblings.

stepwife- The wife of one’s father and not one’s natural mother.

Beyond that technicality, dealing with the absentee parent in a blended family is difficult. One of our challenges is the lies told by biodad. His version of the events that led to the divorce are far different than Mom’s version. Sarah yesterday declared, "I don’t know who to believe." Biodad is a habitual liar. He is so good at it that I am certain he believes his own lies. It is not fair to the children to tell them conflicting stories. All they need to know is that Biodad and Mom could no longer be together. I’ve directly confronted him on this issue but either he disregards it or needs a reminder. The children do not deserve to have to deal with the stress caused by lies.

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1. Reality Me » He & Me - March 30, 2008

[…] I post about family, I think back to March 24, 2006 which is when I finally started paying more attention to KristyK’s January 24th wish to see […]


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