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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Evening Gone Awry July 2, 2007 11:24 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad, Scouts
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Since I did not get my work finished this weekend, I did not get to take time today to fix up my bike (which looks like a pile of rust anyway). We rushed to get dinner made and for some odd reason the taquitoes didn’t cook so no one ate. We get down to the head of the bike trail at 7pm, the normal scout meeting time, and we see evidence of our Scouts but no Scouts. Obviously they met earlier. We just never saw an email. Turns out they met at 6 and rolled out at 6:15. We arrived at 6:55. We drove for 30 minutes searching the trail and finally returned to the finish line to let Noah, Amy and Evan ride the trail. We got to see a train and wave at the engineer. They had a blast and eventually the Scouts returned. Molly wrenched my arm out of socket but we also got some good sprinting in. I need more regular exercise like that. Unfortunately, I’d planned the evening to be coding. Now I’m just tired and sore.

Can I possibly correct the mistakes I have made within this lifetime?

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1. tim - July 3, 2007

Dear Doug
your last question may be rhetorical – however on the basis that it isnt, the answer is obviously no – and with that answer should come the realisation that the mistakes arent required to be corrected – beating yourself up over them / trying to fix them gives you ulcers!
instead follow your own grasshopper / master approcah and just learn from them.
embrace mistakes – they give you plenty of learning experiences. dont even worry when you repeat them over and over – as this teaches character as you learn to deal with the underlying causes of mistake making.
the only mistake you can make with mistakes is to ignore them. You dont do that, – maybe you are just overly sensitive to them and in your desire for perfection miss out on the reality of mistakes.
theres also a good lesson for your kids here – if they can see you deal with mistakes as part of life then they will not learn the mistake of perfectionism. Kids tend to either take on a guilt feeling related to not achieving perfectionism as learnt as an expectation fromt heir parents, or alternatively will rebel against it all as a unconscious recognition of the futility of perfectionism. Neither are healthy and both stem from an inaccurate understanding of what mistakes are.

failures plus the discipline to keep repeating and learn / correct behaviour to are the pathway to sucess. that is how a child learns to crawl and walk. its how we learn to interact successfully with our spouses, clients, kids etc. its how we learn to ride a bike. If we can do it unconsciously or semi consciously in these circumstances, then we can learn to do it when we make stupid mistakes. Dont berate yourself – apologise and move on. You and your family will be emotionally healthier as a result.
from your friend

2. Doug McCaughan - July 3, 2007

Good words Tim! Thanks for that.