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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Panic! September 13, 2007 4:32 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Local Politics, News, Of Interest, Politics, Touchy Subjects
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Don’t take hand lotion to the airports! Hand lotion is the next terror substance! Because..well..uh, terrorists have smooth hands? No, that can’t be it. Um… No..can’t publish that thougth.. that would take away the G rating of this blog? What’s that? I lost my G rating? Oh I never had one! So, Knoxville wants to be Boston?

A white substance left in a hospital emergency room, prompting a quarantine of the area may have been a hand lotion. [Source]

Oh NO! Potentially deadly substance found in hospital! What do we do?!

"It smelled good, so we’re thinking it was a hand lotion," [Source]

That’s right! Stick yer nose in that thar anthax and tell me ifn its dangerous. After the spokeswoman for the Knox County Health Department, whose job is apparently to go to crime scenes and shove her nose into unknown substances, you know, like medieval food tasters!, after she lived, it was determined that something had to be done with the substance.

A private contractor that handles the hospital’s wastes will incinerate the bottle and contents, Dougherty said. [Source]

You got that right! We determined the substance to be inert and harmless so instead of having a hospital employee, or the high paid (she does get paid well for shoving her nose into stuff right?) health department employee, or for that matter one of the sick people at the hospital, or a child, to simply throw the container into the trashcan, we are going to pay a "private contractor" (read that as expensive) to dispose of the substance. I had the personal privilege of working with one of the fine companies in Oak Ridge who get paid to move hazardous waste around. You know those spray cans of paint, compressed air, and so forth that you so casually chunk into the trash can? Those are considered hazardous materials and government agencies have to pay to have them "properly disposed of" which means that they are dumped into 50 gallon drums, sealed, and shipped to a landfill at $10,000 per drum. Not tightly packed mind you. Sure, they could fit a lot more cans in a drum if the spray cans were put in an orderly fashion but if you just throw them in the drum you have to create more $10,000 invoices (and it takes less time). So you can bet the private contractor is going to take a vacation on that container of hand lotion.

Does anyone think before they jump anymore? Or has the government just got you that scared! Is this over? No way! For your enjoyment, the News Sentinel promises to spend more money on this horrific event!

More details as they develop online and in Friday’s News Sentinel. [Source]

Anyone know what teenage boys do with hand lotion? That’s what’s happening with your tax dollars right here!

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1. Panic! — Goth and Rock blog - November 2, 2007

[…] in a drum if the spray cans were put in an orderly fashion but if you just throw them source: Panic!, Reality […]