Imagine being trapped in a coffin like box having just been plunged into the depths of a lake. Water rushes in as you pound the sides trying to break free. That is what a panic attack feels like and most mornings, that is how I wake up. As I leave the dream world in which I have spent the night fighting my demons, my conscious mind begins to run through the list of things left unaccomplished from yesterday, the list of action items for the day, long term goals, commitments I must keep under any circumstances, health of the children, time flying by, unfulfilled dreams, my aging body losing its health, the needs of my wife, bills that are due or coming due, money, money, money, desires, paperwork and legalities, and it goes on. By the time I fully awoke, my heart is racing and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. The dog rests her chin over my ankles consoling me and restraining me to the bed. Using her as an excuse, who wants to disturb the dog?, I pull the covers over my head and try to calm myself. Instead my mind again reviews its frightening list and adds a few things. When I finally rise, my muscles ache and my mind is exhausted.
Husband to one wonderful wife, father to five fantastic children, juggler, technophile, freelancer, DIYer, adventurer, volunteer
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