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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Bulging eyes, puffed cheeks, head thrown back…3..2.1 December 17, 2008 11:01 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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A sight no parent wants to see is your child poised to regurgitate the evening meal. The only thing worse is realizing that this is round two and round one is on the bed, the child, the floor, and the fringe blanket. Vomit has magical powers of stupidity. For one, the smell makes you instantly want to join in the fun. "Oh look! Your spaghetti looks like stringy glue! Let’s see if mine’s the same…blarp" Secondly, as your child’s gag reflex audibly kicks in, you run to comfort her without a trashcan, a towel or any thought of what to do with the vile muck that is working its way up the child’s throat, so placing one hand on the child’s back, you stupidly cup your other hand just under her mouth as if you could miraculously keep round two from somehow not adding to round one. Blarp! Then you lie, "It’s going be okay."

That was last night. Let’s hope this is an isolated event and doesn’t rip through the family.

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1. Rich Hailey - December 17, 2008

Once upon a time, back when I was a small child, a very long time ago, I shared a bedroom with my brother. I woke up in the middle of the night to hear a strange sound, like a fountain filled with warm oatmeal.

The next sound was a ragged gasp for air, followed by a second trip through the fountain. My parents rushed into the room to find my little brother covered in a substance that, although it did share consistency and adhesiveness, was certainly not warm oatmeal. I was told to leave the room, and upon placing my foot on the floor, I discovered that the fountain had created a small waterfall, and at the base of the water fall was a lake, which was a new feature to our bedroom, and not an entirely welcome one.

I promptly contributed to the growth of the lake, and a good time was had by all.

Memories…..light the corners of my mind.

2. Rich Hailey - December 17, 2008

Incidentally, filing this under “From the mouth of babes” was tacky.

Hilarious, but tacky!*grin*

3. Doug McCaughan - December 17, 2008

Hehe. I was wondering if anyone would catch that 🙂

I can just picture the look on your parent’s faces when you joined in. They never tell you just how much of parenting is simply dealing with bodily fluids.

4. brian brinley - December 18, 2008

so I was all happy go lucky thinking, wow conner hasn’t really had the big vomits except for once. Tonight he has dinner, pasta with carrots, a teeeny bit of sauce and a half crushed up meatball.

We decide to take him to see the animated light show of a local house, all the while giving him his nightly bottle as normal.

On the way back he coughs, and then proceeds to bring the entire 8 ounces of formula plus his dinner back up into his car seat. No big deal, its messy we’ll clean it up….. then the smell of formula, partially digested hits everyone… so yeah.. thanks for jinxing me doug!

5. Doug McCaughan - December 19, 2008

😉 Vomit begets vomit.