Posted on Leave a comment

Knoxville Overground Social Mixer Tomorrow!

Tomorrow night let’s all get together in Market Square to checkout Knoxville Overground’s latest and have some real life social time.

Tomorrow on Wednesday March 25th at 7pm, Knoxville Overground will host a social mixer at 35 Market Square as well as provide tours of the 5,000 sq. ft. facility it hopes to convert into a micro-enterprise development center within the next few months.

Remember, downtown parking garages are free at 6pm (although someone recently commented that had changed to 7pm..unverified). For for information about the social mixer and tour, e-mail knoxvilleoverground@gmail.com. See more at KnoxViews.

Posted on 5 Comments

Claiming your kidnapped child on your taxes

Folks, as tax season closes up many of us may rush through doing our taxes to meet the April 15th deadline. I wanted to point out a couple of details about your kidnapped child. Remember, if you plan on claiming your kidnapped child as a dependent, make sure that the kidnapper is not someone in your family or the child’s family (I’m not terribly clear on how the two are differentiated). Also, the child must have lived with you for at least one half of the portion of the year that they were actually with you. And remember, the child can no longer be claimed a dependent the year after they would have become 18 years of age because, well, they’re not with you and they are adults which makes them emancipated…they’ll claim themselves. For the actual IRS language, see Topic 357 – Tax Information for Parents of Kidnapped Children Last Reviewed or Updated: November 25, 2008. Those people at fairtax.org just haven’t thought about all the possibilities that Uncle Sam has already covered for us!

This post with apologies to anyone who actually has a kidnapped child.

Posted on 2 Comments

Twitter Size Does(n’t) Matter

Twitter ranking and stat programs come and go. In Knoxville I’m not even on the charts but in Knoxville, TN I’m ranked #11 (falling fast! Was 5th not long ago.). It’s all non-sense. Twitter’s value has nothing to do with how large someone’s arbitrary algorithm chooses to inflate your ego. Twitter’s value comes from how you choose to use it. So why am I jealous that my wife’s e-penis is almost twice the size (26.35cm) of mine (14.32cm)?

Warning! Clicking through to e-penis is going to show a cartoonish picture of a man’s thang.

Posted on Leave a comment

I’m Dead

As I work through the disorder in my office and wrangle it back under control, I have come to realize I am dead. I know this because if I was going to create Hell for an OCD person, it would look a whole lot like my life! Not saying I’m obsessive compulsive. I just like things to have a home and be in their place. I figure I died in high school. I drove a little dangerously..no..a lot dangerously and was very lucky. I only had one accident and I thought I survived. Things are a little fuzzy and hard to remember back then and I suppose that has something to do with the dying. So, now that I acknowledge that I am dead and that this is a made up reality, can whatever greater power put me here please wiggle your nose and have everything instantly collated and filed?! Oh, and while you’re at it please get my taxes done. Thanks.

Posted on Leave a comment

Don’t Panic!

Probably the greatest words Douglas Adams wrote were "Don’t Panic!" and that man wrote a lot of great words. We accomplish nothing when fear and panic dominate our thoughts. A deer in the headlights is a dead deer. We must look away. Today I am drawn and quartered. Conflicting priorities all demand my attention leaving me unable to address any of them. I declare today administrative day! I will focus on no more than a 16inch by 11inch surface at a time. I will pickup and either act on, file or throw away everything I touch. I will think only of the task at hand. I have phone calls to make but not until I have some paper in order. Did that wall just inch closer to me?

Posted on Leave a comment

Sunday’s Interplanetary Distance

I was hoping to take the family up to play in a park in Harrogut in conjunction with dropping Tommy back at LMU for his last couple of weeks before finals. However, I think today Cathy is on Venus and I’m on Mars and there doesn’t appear to be any connecting shuttles. My be best if I stay here and clean my office or I drive Tommy back to LMU and clear my head.

Posted on Leave a comment

Chaos Wrangling

I look about and see
All the chaos which surrounds me
Clutter on the desk
Clutter in the mind
Clutter makes it hard to progress
Leaving me far behind
To get ahead I need to clean
Remove the chaos to be free
Tasks at hand take priority
Leaving chaos to encompass me
Remove the chaos from the physical world
Digitize and organize in bits and bytes and clouds
Where’s my chaos now?
It’s still there but I’ve misplaced it somehow
I stored it on a website for all to see
Recycled the physical evidence around me
But they changed their name
Bought by another company
Delicious bookmarks are all but broke
And the price gone from free
To $4.95 monthly
My chaos still burdens me
I need its comfort for my strange insanity
But now I cannot find it
My desk is clean
The chaos in my head still surrounds me.

Posted on Leave a comment

My wife has left me for Steve Jobs

At least today she’s Gone Gone Gone. See, while the US military and universities struggle to invent the invisibility cloak (getting closer), Steve Jobs and AT&T achieved invisibility years ago. Pay close attention the next time you are in public. Our social rules keep us from even making eye contact with a person on the phone. We don’t want to breach their privacy so we turn off our ears and physically turn away from them. Trying to recall the details of a person talking on the phone in public is more difficult than recalling the details of a person not speaking on the phone. I have no scientific study to back up that statement. It is just my own assertion but try it. Take a friend to the mall. Make mental notes about various people then stop and ask your friend to describe them 45 seconds later. The people talking on their phones are invisible! Even Girl Scouts selling cookies choose to skip their sales pitch to people speaking on the phone.

Now, setting is important. The person discussing private business dealings at the topic of their lungs in a quiet restaurant draws attention to themselves and is far from invisible. The loud talking, me, me, me, attention gather is trying to draw eyes to themselves and is the opposite of invisible.

iPods, MP3 players of all types, and anything that requires we plug wires into our ears also make us invisible. Our body language says, "Don’t talk to me!" Speaking to a person with earphone plugged into their ears might be a waste of time. They may not hear you and the frustration of raising your voice, getting their attention, and repeating yourself multiple times just isn’t worth it. To simply avoid talking to them is less physically exerting and less stressful. So we avoid interrupting people listening to their music or podcasts and they too become invisible. Today my wife joins the invisible people as she listens to loud music and gets things done around the house.