A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary.
What will you say with your last breath? I certainly hope that mine will be poetic but I doubt I will achieve something as elegant as Samuel Beckett’s father’s last words:
According to [Samuel] Beckett, his father got up one morning, put on his dressing gown, then collapsed to the ground with a massive stroke, and died. His final words were "What a morning".
See also.
You never know if you’ve gone too far until you try.
My 16 year old son is driving now. Some good friends cut him a deal. They gave him a 1991 Ford Tempo GL and, in exchange, he drives their son to school. The only problem is the Ford Tempo isn’t running right now. The radiator is too gunked up. When I was 16, you could have given me the biggest lemon in the world and I would have spent every waking moment cleaning it, tuning it, staring at it, and driving it to Timbuktu. My 16 year old son doesn’t seem interested in the car in the least. Before we knew this car was coming into the family, I offered to lethelp him repair the Jeep but he wasn’t interested. This is not limited to my son. The 16 year old populace, at least those we know, seem genuinely disinterested in driving. I think we need to rename them Generation Xbox.
So, I set out to replace the radiator myself. And, surprisingly, ended up with a great helper. My seven year old stepped up, and single-handedly removed the air filter and all the connecting pieces.
And that lollipop is not cigarette inspired. Just a coincidence, but funny!
Heard something thoroughly depressing this morning. A group that has accurately predicted the past 8 presidential elections has Romney winning the electoral vote. Frankly, I cannot imagine a worse outcome for the United States.
If my choice of adjectives cause you to end our conversation, then you are closed minded and fuck you.
The results are in!
Women Who Have Unprotected Sex Are Happier, Smarter Thanks to Mood-Elevating Properties of Semen
Semen is known to contain such "mood-altering chemicals" as estrone and oxytocin, which elevate mood; cortisol, which promotes affection; serotonin, which acts as an antidepressant; and melatonin, which induces sleep.
And here’s the icing on the face:
Gallup and Burch also determined that women with a significant amount of "seminal plasma" in their system have improved concentration, and excel over their semen-deficient counterparts in performing cognitive tasks.
So, there you have it. Semen is ‘good for women’s health and helps fight depression.’ [Source: Dailymail.co.uk]
It has long been said that to ensure the survival of the human species, we must migrate from Earth. Right now, if something catastrophic happened to our planet, our human race would be extinct. However, if we can spread out, and inhabit other planets and particularly other galaxies, if something happened to Earth, our species continues to exist. But what if we are wrong? What if it is not the planet we must escape to preserve human life? I conjecture that to preserve the human species, we may need to escape the universe.
Wife: "May I buy kitten food?"
Me: "If I say no, will it go away faster?"
Apparently, that was not the correct answer.
I woke up at 5am to discover I fell asleep last night sitting up.
As I watch Saturday morning tv with my son I think these shows are creepy or the creators were high but then I recall my childhood programming and in all likelihood the probability that my childhood programming was the result of someone’s acid trip is far greator.
My 7 year old son is watching an animated show on television. I know I’m seeing a blue elephant with wheels for feet. But all I hear is Philip J Fry.
So I bought a Powerball ticket last night since it was a rather large jackpot, $340 million to be exact. Driving down the interstate today, I noticed the lottery billboard shows the Powerball at $40 million which means someone won. Using quantum physics, I know that I am that winner because I have not yet observed the ticket (nor have I observed an announcement of the winner) therefore my ticket must simultaneously be every winning and every losing combination. Now I just have to figure out how to observe that winning number.
Sometimes I sleep. Usually that is a mistake.
