"Murphy was an optimist!"
Those famous last words August 30, 2012 8:39 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, Music, Of Interest, Philosophy
What will you say with your last breath? I certainly hope that mine will be poetic but I doubt I will achieve something as elegant as Samuel Beckett’s father’s last words:
According to [Samuel] Beckett, his father got up one morning, put on his dressing gown, then collapsed to the ground with a massive stroke, and died. His final words were "What a morning".
See also.add a comment
Deep Thoughts August 24, 2012 7:37 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, Philosophy
You never know if you’ve gone too far until you try.add a comment
Teach them automotive maintenance young August 23, 2012 8:21 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, Of Being Dad, Transportation, Travel
My 16 year old son is driving now. Some good friends cut him a deal. They gave him a 1991 Ford Tempo GL and, in exchange, he drives their son to school. The only problem is the Ford Tempo isn’t running right now. The radiator is too gunked up. When I was 16, you could have given me the biggest lemon in the world and I would have spent every waking moment cleaning it, tuning it, staring at it, and driving it to Timbuktu. My 16 year old son doesn’t seem interested in the car in the least. Before we knew this car was coming into the family, I offered to
lethelp him repair the Jeep but he wasn’t interested. This is not limited to my son. The 16 year old populace, at least those we know, seem genuinely disinterested in driving. I think we need to rename them Generation Xbox.
So, I set out to replace the radiator myself. And, surprisingly, ended up with a great helper. My seven year old stepped up, and single-handedly removed the air filter and all the connecting pieces.
And that lollipop is not cigarette inspired. Just a coincidence, but funny!add a comment
Depressing radio August 23, 2012 7:51 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Politics, Touchy Subjects, United States
Heard something thoroughly depressing this morning. A group that has accurately predicted the past 8 presidential elections has Romney winning the electoral vote. Frankly, I cannot imagine a worse outcome for the United States.add a comment
I’m sorry you don’t like my vocabulary choices August 22, 2012 7:34 pmPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life
If my choice of adjectives cause you to end our conversation, then you are closed minded and fuck you.add a comment
Do you want your antidepressant orally or vaginally? August 22, 2012 2:55 pmPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Sex, Touchy Subjects
The results are in!
Women Who Have Unprotected Sex Are Happier, Smarter Thanks to Mood-Elevating Properties of Semen
Semen is known to contain such "mood-altering chemicals" as estrone and oxytocin, which elevate mood; cortisol, which promotes affection; serotonin, which acts as an antidepressant; and melatonin, which induces sleep.
And here’s the icing on the face:
Gallup and Burch also determined that women with a significant amount of "seminal plasma" in their system have improved concentration, and excel over their semen-deficient counterparts in performing cognitive tasks.
So, there you have it. Semen is ‘good for women’s health and helps fight depression.’ [Source: Dailymail.co.uk]add a comment
Preservation of species August 22, 2012 8:21 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Science, Technology
It has long been said that to ensure the survival of the human species, we must migrate from Earth. Right now, if something catastrophic happened to our planet, our human race would be extinct. However, if we can spread out, and inhabit other planets and particularly other galaxies, if something happened to Earth, our species continues to exist. But what if we are wrong? What if it is not the planet we must escape to preserve human life? I conjecture that to preserve the human species, we may need to escape the universe.add a comment
From the mouths of babes August 21, 2012 5:41 pmPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Pets
Wife: "May I buy kitten food?"
Me: "If I say no, will it go away faster?"
Apparently, that was not the correct answer.add a comment
Well now, some people really do give a flying fuck August 21, 2012 8:08 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Of Interest
How tired? August 19, 2012 10:47 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life
I woke up at 5am to discover I fell asleep last night sitting up.add a comment
Today’s children’s shows August 18, 2012 9:12 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Of Interest, TV / Movies
As I watch Saturday morning tv with my son I think these shows are creepy or the creators were high but then I recall my childhood programming and in all likelihood the probability that my childhood programming was the result of someone’s acid trip is far greator.add a comment
Not Mel Blanc August 18, 2012 8:43 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Of Interest, TV / Movies
My 7 year old son is watching an animated show on television. I know I’m seeing a blue elephant with wheels for feet. But all I hear is Philip J Fry.add a comment
I have the winning ticket for the $340 million Powerball jackpot! August 16, 2012 8:08 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life
So I bought a Powerball ticket last night since it was a rather large jackpot, $340 million to be exact. Driving down the interstate today, I noticed the lottery billboard shows the Powerball at $40 million which means someone won. Using quantum physics, I know that I am that winner because I have not yet observed the ticket (nor have I observed an announcement of the winner) therefore my ticket must simultaneously be every winning and every losing combination. Now I just have to figure out how to observe that winning number.add a comment
Deep Thoughts August 15, 2012 10:44 amPosted by Doug McCaughan in : Deep Thoughts, Philosophy
Sometimes I sleep. Usually that is a mistake.add a comment