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"Murphy was an optimist!"

Sleep should be optional April 29, 2013 9:34 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Health, Of Being Dad, Sleep
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We should be allowed occasional weeks without sleep without repercussion. This is one of those weeks.

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April 29, 2013 8:34 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Sex, Touchy Subjects
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Well there you have it. I’m a freaking genius!

intelligence has been linked to unconventional sexual practices and frequent sexual activity, thoughts and fantasies.[57]

[Source, Wikipedia, Intelligence]

Here’s footnote 57 citing the original source:

Thompson, Mark (1). “3”. Who Should You Have Sex With. Sourcebooks Casablanca. p. 78. ISBN 978-1402242045. "In my studies, men and women who described themselves as smart, intelligent, logical and imaginative reported thinking about sex more often, fantasizing about sex, and having sex more often than people who did not see themselves as smart or intellectual. They also usually had a wider scope of sexual experiences, including experience with role-playing and other Kinky activities."

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Sniglets April 29, 2013 8:17 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor, Philosophy
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Remember that fad in the 80s inspired by Rich Hall on Not Necessarily the News when everyone was making up words like detrunkus and giving them made up definitions like the act of losing ones shorts when diving into a pool. And we all bought several books of these Sniglets. I thought of one today:

lottoptimism – spending money on the belief that your next lottery ticket will be the winner.

Of course, lottoptimism leads us to:

lottonomics – the result of living with lottoptimism which often results in the loss of property and becoming friends with guys with names like Vinni who say things like "hey boss" a lot.

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Part-time Mr. Mom April 28, 2013 6:48 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Of Being Dad
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Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.

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Packing Frustrations April 27, 2013 2:00 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad
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Every pair of Smartwool Hiking Sock I own, and I own several, are missing. I presume Professor Teen has them all. I swear I’m going to quit my job and start a clothing company that specials in RFID chipped clothing including RFID chipped self-sorting socks. Normally I wouldn’t wear smartwool to a Bedtime with the Beasts sleepover at the Zoo but with the quantity of rain we are having I thought wearing something that would wick moisture from my feet would be nice. Time to repurchase all my socks and a clothing marker.

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For every end there is a new beginning April 27, 2013 11:38 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life
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Another chapter has closed in the story that is my life. Naturally no ending is ever cut and dry. No beginning well defined. The postmortem for the past twelve years (24 years by some accounts) includes some dotting of Ts and crossing of eyes [sic]. Some dust either needs to be swept under the rug or cleaned from under the rug. Some final goodbyes need to be spoken. As the ink dries on the final words of the final page of this past chapter, words are already forming in the new one. Like any story, the initial draft may require a course correction or a rewrite. The outline for this next chapter, this next adventure, has the title penciled in as "Thus the massive decluttering and reorganization began!"

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MasterCard was never an option April 26, 2013 4:45 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life
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One naive mistake – $35,000
Years recovering – 12
Not owing the IRS a dime – priceless!

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GW says Jeb should run in 2016 April 25, 2013 9:08 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Politics, Touchy Subjects, United States
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In an interview aired Wednesday with ABC News, the former president says his brother would be, in his words, a "marvelous candidate."

[Source, The Huffington Post, George W. Bush: Jeb Bush Should ‘Run’ In 2016 (VIDEO)]

Hell no! The only bush I want to see in the White House better have tits.

Oh thank you Barbara! She doesn’t want Jeb to run.

"There are other people out there that are very qualified and we’ve had enough Bushes," former first lady Barbara Bush told NBC’s "Today"

[Source, The Washington Post, Barbara Bush: Jeb shouldn’t run for president]

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Bad foreplay April 20, 2013 10:26 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad
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One should not stare at his naked wife, pause, and casually suggest, "we should start riding bikes as a family."

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R.I.P. Upcoming.org April 19, 2013 6:03 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Announcements, Of Interest
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Yahoo!, the killer-of-companies, is at it again. This time Upcoming.org is on the chopping block. Yahoo! is also killing off five others: Yahoo! Deals, Yahoo! SMS Alerts, Yahoo! Kids, Yahoo! Mail and Messenger feature phone (J2ME) apps, and Older versions of Yahoo! Mail.

One day I hope to have a wonderfully successful Internet based company; and I also hope Yahoo! never buys it.

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Dove Campaign for Real Beauty Continues with New Ads April 19, 2013 1:11 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Humor
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I’ve been moved by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty since its inception. The evolution film was powerful. Now Dove is at it again using forensic artists to draw people as they see themselves and then again as others see them.

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Stupid Human Tricks April 19, 2013 12:35 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Gray, Of Being Dad, Pets
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When the cat starts howling in warning that it is going to wretch then starts doing the whole gag while turning its body into a slinky thing on your couch, wrestling with it will not stop the hair ball from coming and once you dig the claws out of the couch holding the cat at shoulder height will only result in an Andy Warholish splatter paint of horribleness on the living room floor…saved the couch though.

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Durex has brought us the future! April 18, 2013 8:52 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Health, Of Interest, Sex, Touchy Subjects
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My favorite condom company, Durex, is bringing us the future! There’s not a geek that since the time of 300 baud dial up and ascii port who has not imagined the possibly of combining a serial port and sex toys for long distance love. Durex has created Fundawear, a combination of vibrating underwear and iPhones for what Durex deems the ultimate in foreplay.

Frankly, Durex’s vision of touch over the Internet looks pretty fun. Looks targeted toward couples but the potential seems enormous for masturbation or enhancing the experience with those paid Internet porn cam sites. Imagine a single person on Chaturbate wearing these! I can see a new iPhone app now. "RandomVibe" with choices such as "Use BlueTooth to touch a stranger within 30 feet" making subway rides exciting or "Wifi a stranger on your network" making office romance safer or "Randomly touch someone on the Internet" for Worldgasms. Ah! What about one app that allowed you to touch multiple people for "the virtual orgy!" If the generation of free love thought the sex partiers of the 80s and 90s were strange and those generations found themselves envious of the past decade and a half or so of shrinking clothing, lycra, rainbow parties, and oral and anal are okay because I still have my virginity and can keep wearing my ring, their minds will melt with the potential for the next two generations of virtual, supersafe, sex.

Of course, it feels like I’ve seen this before:

See also: Gizmodo and h/t to Angel Stewart.

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Lunch and forgiveness April 18, 2013 12:12 pm

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Food, Health, Humor, Philosophy
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Dear Lard which art in my belly, Harden be my arteries.
Thy heart attack come,
Thy fat be in views, as it is in muscle.
Give me this day my daily quarter pounder.
And forgive me this meal, as we forgive others.
The Golden Arches of temptation,
Deliver us early: into thine grave,
and the salt, oh the salt, high blood pressure.

"So, how’d you end up in Hell?"
"Clogged arteries."

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Of Grasshoppers April 17, 2013 8:23 am

Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Of Grasshoppers, Philosophy
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Student: I took my eye off the ball.
Master: How’s the bruise?

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