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From the mouths of babes July 1, 2008 2:39 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a commentMom: "Mister! If you are going to pee on the floor, you are going to clean it up!"
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes June 30, 2008 3:45 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , 1 comment so farAmy, 6 years old: "Dad, can I have a push pop?"
Dad, from behind a closed door: "Sure but I can’t get it for you right now."
Amy:"That’s okay. I already got it."
Look out for the 53 car! June 25, 2008 8:57 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad, Sarah, Transportation, Travel , add a comment
Looks like I’m working remotely via a borrowed laptop today. I am taking my daughter to the DMV to get her learner’s permit. She has already declared that she doesn’t want to learn how to drive from me because "that would be annoying." When I asked, "What wouldn’t be annoying? Do you want me to just sit quietly and let you get in an accident?" I got silence in return. I think Miss Know It All thinks she already knows how to drive and would just like to get behind the wheel and go with no one else in the car. This should be interesting.
Now, if you see the 53 van, one of the most recognized vehicles in Knoxville, swerving down the road, hitting curbs, driving against traffic, and running people off the road, it is probably Tommy or Sarah (or me texting). And we apologize.
Update: Failed eye examine keeps another teenager off the road. Our eye doctor won’t see her until October. Looking into other solutions.
Update: I’ve painted an old cane of mine red and white 
and am going to see if they’ll let Sarah take the test without the eye exam under the American Disabilities Act on the premise that she is blind.
Update: After many hours of struggle, a lot of attitude, a 16th mortgage, and two eyeglass stores later, Sarah can see clearly now..the rain is gone.
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From the mouths of babes June 22, 2008 10:37 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family , add a commentLoud thud heard upstairs.
Amy: "I’m okay!"
The beach heals June 21, 2008 6:59 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Holiday, Travel , add a commentAs a child, when I had a wound, my grandmother would send me to the ocean. "The ocean will heal that!" A cut surely stings wading out into the salt water but it does seem to mend quickly. Perhaps the healing is psychological. The fun of the surf making you forget your scrape. Maybe its more. This week we had the full moon overhead. It lit the ocean remarkably. Thunderstorms blew in briefly and gave vivid light shows. Tides swelled and the ocean gave both lulling calm and thunderous waves without explanation for the ocean’s mood swings. Great forces were at work. And magical times for long lasting memories.
We have not had a family vacation since the last week of December 2000. This was a much needed break. Time to go home now.
ps. We only got referenced as "The Griswold’s" once.
add a commentBeach Update June 17, 2008 8:49 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family , add a comment add a commentWho’s the crab? June 16, 2008 10:07 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad , add a commentOne of the challenging things about marriage is relationship management. In the corporate world, we go to training classes, seminars, mentoring, internal training, and read books on how to get along. In marriage, we wing it. In work, you leave the people you "relate" to at the door at 5pm. In marriage, you are glued to each other non-stop. People are creatures of habit and routine. We come to expect a person to be a particular way with a particular attitude. Vacations wreck havoc on routines, bring a new set of stresses and the unknown. Our attitudes and moods change with a vacation.
This morning I felt rested and relaxed. Evan rose at 6:30am and asked that I rise with him. I thought I’d be nice and let everyone else sleep in. Evan and I enjoyed some time together watching cartoons, playing with toys, and eating breakfast. I was happy. So I thought. When Cathy rose, I noted to myself that she was grouchy but I said nothing figuring that her morning caffeine was not working yet. Then came a moment where she complained about how I was relaxed then became terse and crabby when Evan got up. So who is right? Which one of us is the morning grouch? Doesn’t matter. Once someone declares me grouchy or crabby I turn into an ugly person. My mind decides, "Why try to be nice if when you are trying its not working?" Karma gets me back though. In my exasperation, I went to the porch to get some air and the door sprung back in my face spilling coffee on my most comfortable shorts.
Were either of us crabby? Probably not. We were probably working two different agendas and our moods are different than the usual. Subconsciously we probably assessed the other as off and because the other wasn’t working the same unspoken plan, labeled them crabby.
It’s a beautiful day today. I think I’ll spend it on the computer.
add a commentI work therefore I’m a cad June 9, 2008 10:09 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, Of Being Dad , add a commentI know a vast number of people who think that because I work from home that I don’t really work. It can’t be real can it? That’s just not…normal! It is not normal. It is harder than normal!
I love my children and a benefit of working from home is that I can take short breaks and play with them or experience their special moments. But the children do not understand what I do. I have not role modeled traditional 8 to 5 work for them and they are going to be shocked when they enter the real world.
I just sent Evan, the three year old, sulking upstairs and feel horrible for it. All he wanted to do was spend some time with Dad. He came down here happily and sat in the chair beside me. But I was unable to concentrate when he started removing things from my desk (like my pocket knives), playing in the ash from my incense burner, and using the highlighters for horns. So I snapped. It was wrong and I feel awful. Being a Dad and a provider is tough.
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes June 4, 2008 5:20 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , 4commentsEvan, 3 years old: "Daddy, I wanna go bitchin’"
Dad, removing the pacifier from the child’s mouth: "What?"
Evan: "Daaa, I waaana go bitchin’"
Dad, sitting down to type From the mouths of babes.
Evan: "I WANNA go BIIIItchin’ Daa!"
Dad, continuing to type.
Evan: "Daddy. We need to go bitchin now."
Evan, soft, extra sweet voice: "Let me go bitchin."
From the mouths of babes June 3, 2008 11:14 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Of Being Dad , 1 comment so farMom: "Evan, are you a boy or a girl?"
Evan, 3 years old: "uhnt, uh"
Dad: "Evan, are you a boy?"
Evan: "No!"
Mom: "Evan, are you a girl?"
Evan: "No!"
Dad: "Say, I have a penis."
Evan: "I know you have a penis!"
Of Grasshoppers June 2, 2008 5:27 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Of Being Dad, Of Grasshoppers, Philosophy , add a commentStudent: I don’t think there are enough drugs in the world to make me feel good about myself right now.
Master: What would make you feel good about yourself?
Of Being Dad May 28, 2008 10:46 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad , 4commentsDear child, if you put chewing gum behind your ear so that you can brush your teeth, you will have gum stuck in your hair. Love, Dad
4commentsIt’s good to be 3 May 27, 2008 3:10 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family , 3comments
Happy Birthday Evan!
Do-It-Yourself Vasectomy May 27, 2008 9:35 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Sex, Touchy Subjects , 6commentsIn December, I set up a chipin campaign to raise money for an operation I promised Cathy 3 years ago. The vasectomy campaign ends in six hours and the Internet hath spoken! Either the digital world out there wants 1) me to have more children or 2) see a DIY vasectomy. As complimented as I am that you desire more of my DNA stay in the gene pool, I am going to have to go with the DIY vasectomy. The only question that remains is to stream via webcam or not to stream? And do I create a chipin campaign for pain killers and re-constructive surgery? Now where’s that Swiss Army knife?
6comments(ala Rocky Horror’s Time Warp)
It’s just a snip to the left
And a snip to the right
Pull the sack up and put the sutures in tight
No pelvic thrust
For 30 day ay ay ayay ays
Let’s do the vasectomy today!
From the mouths of babes May 25, 2008 12:31 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes , add a commentEvan, raiding my desk: "I found keys car Daddy."
Me, firmly: "Give me the car key!"
Evan, bolting for the stairs: "I need them!"
