Reality Me » Evan http://realityme.net A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:25:15 +0000 en hourly 1 Of Being Dad – Smack Talk http://realityme.net/2010/01/31/of-being-dad-smack-talk/ http://realityme.net/2010/01/31/of-being-dad-smack-talk/#comments Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:59:40 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12363 There’s something wonderfully amusing in listening to the four year old talk smack with the thirteen year old.

]]> http://realityme.net/2010/01/31/of-being-dad-smack-talk/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2010/01/16/from-the-mouths-of-babes-309/ http://realityme.net/2010/01/16/from-the-mouths-of-babes-309/#comments Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:15:08 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12289 Amy, 7.5 years: "Evan’s got a bloody nose!"
Evan, 4.5 years: "Dad! My nose is bleeding!"
Evan: "Oh, it’s just a boogie."

]]> http://realityme.net/2010/01/16/from-the-mouths-of-babes-309/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/ http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:14:21 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12270 Evan, 4.5: "I want a baloney sandwich with no crust and cut in the shape of a triangle."

]]> http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:00:48 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12233 Evan has been reluctant to give up his pacifier, bop, at night. Last night he slept without it! Today he is a little crabby and just walked through the house with it so I bargained it away from him.

Dad: "Evan. I want you to say oral fixation.
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Oral fixation."
Dad: "Good. Now I want you to go tell Mom, ‘I have an oral fixation.’"
Evan, yelling through the house: "Mom! Dad has an oral fixation!"

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/feed/ 0 Evil Child http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/evil-child/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/evil-child/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:51:46 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12215 It’s as if Evan can detect that I’m nearing my breaking point so he’s going to extra effort to try to push me over the edge.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/evil-child/feed/ 0 Dear Dharma and Evan… http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/dear-dharma-and-evan/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/dear-dharma-and-evan/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 12:26:31 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12206 Dharma, I know you are a dog and I recognize that your brain may have a short circuit or two so let spell this out for you. Pooping in the walking path is not allowed! You are very funny and obviously have figured my gait out perfectly because your landmines are batting 1000. See if your doggie mind can read my human mind because the mental image I have right now is of a cold, outdoor kennel. Molly knows where to poop in this yard. Follow her!

Evan, I know you are four years old…four and a half to be fair…and the antique, crank out windows in this house have a particularly rewarding feeling to their almost steampunk mechanical opening action. However, when the temperatures at night are dropping to -1.6°C*, sleeping with the window open is inadvisable and does not lend to a friendly electric bill. If this behavior continues, I will have to increase your rent to offset the cost of heating this house. Oh, and you may catch a cold.

*Temperature conversion provided by Onlineconversion.com.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/dear-dharma-and-evan/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/12/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-305/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-305/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:24:38 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12158 Evan, 4.5 years old seeing the food I just prepared: "Eggs!"
Me: "Do you want toast with your eggs?"
Evan: "Yeah!! What’s toast?"

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-305/feed/ 0 The Magic is Gone http://realityme.net/2009/11/29/the-magic-is-gone/ http://realityme.net/2009/11/29/the-magic-is-gone/#comments Mon, 30 Nov 2009 01:46:00 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12062 One of the thrills of the single digits is raiding my desk. Often I come down to find my organized chaos in a disarray. To Amy and Evan my clutter is their treasure trove, as it should be, so I try to keep it child friendly. I fidget with my magic from time to time. My nickel to dimes trick currently lives on my desk in a ziplock bag so the money doesn’t accidentally get spent. I found the ziplock open. The nickles and dimes are accounted for but a critical piece of the trick has gone missing. Nevermind…I’m stupid. This reminds me of the time I purchased my first rainbow rod. I was in Disney World and the magician at the magic shoppe performed the trick so well that I understood exactly what to do. I purchased my own. I was so excited that back the hotel I pulled the wand from its container and tossed the instructions aside. I had enough prop magic to understand how these worked. I did exactly like the performer from the magic shoppe and my heart wrenched from my chest as I immediately broke the wand! The result of my actions had produce an outcome unlike anything the magician had done. It was totally unexpected and nothing I did seemed to fix it. That is, until I read the instructions and laughed myself to tears. So, the nickel and dime trick…it’s kinda like that.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/29/the-magic-is-gone/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/11/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-304/ http://realityme.net/2009/11/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-304/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:31:07 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11955 Evan, 4 years old: "Dad listen. I sing Nam myo go."
Evan: "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo" (well..pretty close at least!)

He did this unprompted and out of the blue. I was quiet surprised. He also brought it up on Halloween: "I’m daddy. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo"

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-304/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/ http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:26:08 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11916 Evan, 4 years old: "I heard my stomach growl. That means I need some candy."

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:49:06 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11831 I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.

Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.

Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/feed/ 1 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-300/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-300/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:10:39 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11806 Moments after I posted Dad Fail, Evan walked up to me with a question.

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, why do you always say…" He bent over at the waist at a 45 degree angle with his arms hanging straight down and in a deepened gruff voice, "crap crap crap crap crap crap crap…"

It just went on and on but in the end, it turned out he was repeating a noise from the Nintendo DS Mario game.

Please excuse the screwed up aspect ratio on the video but I did that in haste.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-300/feed/ 0 Dad Fail http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/dad-fail/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/dad-fail/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:53:00 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11804 Nothing specific here. I’m just not feeling like a very good father today.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/dad-fail/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/13/from-the-mouths-of-babes-298/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/13/from-the-mouths-of-babes-298/#comments Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:58:45 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11765 Evan, 4 years old, playing Wii, gleefully announces: "I’m Donkey Dong!"

Okay. I’ll concede there may be some speech therapy in his near future.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/13/from-the-mouths-of-babes-298/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-297/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-297/#comments Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:21:44 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11750 Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, can you make me some chips?"
Me, noting that it is 5:20pm: "No."
Evan, softening voice, tilting head, and putting on droopy eyes: "Please make me some chips."
Me: "No, I’m working. You have to let me finish my work so that I can make dinner. NO no no."
Evan: "Okay. But please."
Me: "I’ll be right up. Just let me make this one blog post."

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-297/feed/ 0