Reality Me » From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net A juggling technophile shares personal stories, challenges, humor and perhaps some political commentary. Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:36:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2010/01/20/from-the-mouths-of-babes-310/ http://realityme.net/2010/01/20/from-the-mouths-of-babes-310/#comments Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:14:17 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12311 Evan, 4.5 years old: "Dad. Can we buy a gold fish?"
Dad, thinking a gold fish is not difficult to care for: "I suppose. What made you want a gold fish?"
Evan: "I want to eat it."
Dad, realizing this isn’t about watching the wrong tv shows: "Oh! You want gold fish snacks."

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Evan, 4.5 years: "Dad! My nose is bleeding!"
Evan: "Oh, it’s just a boogie."

]]> http://realityme.net/2010/01/16/from-the-mouths-of-babes-309/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/ http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:14:21 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12270 Evan, 4.5: "I want a baloney sandwich with no crust and cut in the shape of a triangle."

]]> http://realityme.net/2010/01/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-308/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:00:48 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12233 Evan has been reluctant to give up his pacifier, bop, at night. Last night he slept without it! Today he is a little crabby and just walked through the house with it so I bargained it away from him.

Dad: "Evan. I want you to say oral fixation.
Evan, 4.5 years old: "Oral fixation."
Dad: "Good. Now I want you to go tell Mom, ‘I have an oral fixation.’"
Evan, yelling through the house: "Mom! Dad has an oral fixation!"

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-307/feed/ 0 How ’bout them knockers? http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/how-bout-them-knockers/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/19/how-bout-them-knockers/#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 15:05:10 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12231 We had the pleasure of actually getting out of the house recently and participating in, gasp, an adult party! No this wasn’t an Eyes Wide Shut thing. It just wasn’t at Chuckie Cheese and no one had to be reminded to go to the bathroom. This was the party with some very fascinating people. At one point, one of the guests had a moment of recognition and recalled working with Cathy.

What he said: "The last time I saw you, you were breastfeeding your youngest daughter." (read more)
What I heard: "I’ve seen your wife’s boobs! NiiiiIIICce!"

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Noah, walking to the door: "Will do."
Dad, noting that Noah is wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and no jacket: "Stay warm."
Noah: "I hope so."
Dad: "You do understand that staying warm has less to do with hope and more to do with attiring yourself appropriately in layers, right?"
Noah, continuing to walk to the bus stop: "Yup."

This feels familiar almost like an 8th grade winter ritual.

If you’re gonna to be dumb, you gotta be tough. [Source]

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/12/17/from-the-mouths-of-babes-306/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/12/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-305/ http://realityme.net/2009/12/11/from-the-mouths-of-babes-305/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:24:38 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=12158 Evan, 4.5 years old seeing the food I just prepared: "Eggs!"
Me: "Do you want toast with your eggs?"
Evan: "Yeah!! What’s toast?"

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Evan: "Nam-myoho-renge-kyo" (well..pretty close at least!)

He did this unprompted and out of the blue. I was quiet surprised. He also brought it up on Halloween: "I’m daddy. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo"

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/12/from-the-mouths-of-babes-304/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-303/ http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-303/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:32:50 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11940 Tommy, 19: "I can’t find the snake."
Me: "What happened?"
Tommy: "He was on my lap. I fell asleep."

The snake is fine. It just had a good explore.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-303/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/ http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:26:08 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11916 Evan, 4 years old: "I heard my stomach growl. That means I need some candy."

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/11/10/from-the-mouths-of-babes-302/feed/ 0 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:49:06 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11831 I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.

Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.

Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.

]]> http://realityme.net/2009/10/21/from-the-mouths-of-babes-301/feed/ 1 From the mouths of babes http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-300/ http://realityme.net/2009/10/19/from-the-mouths-of-babes-300/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:10:39 +0000 Doug McCaughan http://realityme.net/?p=11806 Moments after I posted Dad Fail, Evan walked up to me with a question.

Evan, 4 years old: "Dad, why do you always say…" He bent over at the waist at a 45 degree angle with his arms hanging straight down and in a deepened gruff voice, "crap crap crap crap crap crap crap…"

It just went on and on but in the end, it turned out he was repeating a noise from the Nintendo DS Mario game.

Please excuse the screwed up aspect ratio on the video but I did that in haste.

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Me: "Sarah isn’t in the house."
Amy: "Then what’s that big lump in the bed?"
Me: "Personally, I wouldn’t call my mother a big lump."

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Okay. I’ll concede there may be some speech therapy in his near future.

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Me, noting that it is 5:20pm: "No."
Evan, softening voice, tilting head, and putting on droopy eyes: "Please make me some chips."
Me: "No, I’m working. You have to let me finish my work so that I can make dinner. NO no no."
Evan: "Okay. But please."
Me: "I’ll be right up. Just let me make this one blog post."

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