"Murphy was an optimist!"
Of Being Dad – Smack Talk January 31, 2010 5:59 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentThere’s something wonderfully amusing in listening to the four year old talk smack with the thirteen year old.
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes December 17, 2009 7:37 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah , add a commentDad: "Have a good day!"
Noah, walking to the door: "Will do."
Dad, noting that Noah is wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and no jacket: "Stay warm."
Noah: "I hope so."
Dad: "You do understand that staying warm has less to do with hope and more to do with attiring yourself appropriately in layers, right?"
Noah, continuing to walk to the bus stop: "Yup."
This feels familiar almost like an 8th grade winter ritual.
add a commentIf you’re gonna to be dumb, you gotta be tough. [Source]
Dad of the Year! November 11, 2009 8:56 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentI just stressed one of my children out so bad he threw up. Topic? Grades. Very effective technique to end a discussion. Have to give him points there!
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes October 21, 2009 6:49 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad , 1 comment so farI dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.
Me: "DAMMIT!"
Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.
Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.
1 comment so farWe have a new baby in the house! September 18, 2009 8:38 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Education, Family, Health, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentDear Knox County Schools, If I beat your fancy $500 electronic baby, does my son lose points because abusive granddad was raised in the 70s? Sincerely, I have 5 children I know what a baby crying all night sounds like and so does my son I thought I was done when Cathy said we couldn’t have a 6th
Yes, we have an electronic baby in the house this weekend. The irony is that Noah has probably changed more diapers and spent more baby time than many of his schoolmates ever will. If this is demented sex education lesson on abstinence, I give the schools an F because we don’t educate through fear and making the wonder of life a thing to dread. If the lesson is truly about the responsibility of caring for a child, I give this gadget an A+. This is a cool toy and Mattel had better step up because my 7 and 4 year old children are loving it! The diapers even have to be changed! Oh, I like the fact that there are no Caucasian electronic babies because I’m sure my son’s absentee interracial girlfriend is going to be quite the buzz at the inlaw’s church. I wonder if Noah will have the wherewithal to actually turn electrobabe into the daycare instead of carrying he/she/it into the teenager’s sanctuary.
Update: I just learned that the baby and Noah are more than a certain distance apart that the baby’s head explodes because Noah has an electronic wrist band secured to his wrist. Side note, you really should secure the bands a little tighter because I’m quite certain that I could slip it off Noah’s wrist so that he could help Evan get to sleep but no, we will be honest and I will take over for Noah tonight. Of course, I could get Evan to sleep easier if your do dad had a mute button! I must say that it is amusing watching Noah try to put electrobabe down long enough to play his video game only to have crying drag him away from the keyboard with a grin and an eyeroll.
Update: Electrobabe turned off about midnight. I have the sneaky suspicion the program was set up wrong and we’ll be seeing this child again.
add a commentFrom the mouths of babes August 13, 2009 3:04 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentOne of neighbors is named Betty. The children address her as Mrs. Betty. Recently Evan started calling her Mrs. Betsy. I would correct him placing emphasis on the second T.
Evan, 4 years old: "Mrs. Bet see."
Me: "Say Bet-T"
This Betsy-Betty back and forth has gone on for weeks. So Evan has taken to really adding pause and emphasis to the second part of her name "Mrs. Bet TEA." Today I understand why.
Evan: "Noah won’t take me to Mrs. Bet Tea’s house."
Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, it’s Bet SEE."
Me: "No Noah. It’s Betty. Bet TEA."
Noah: "Oh."
The boys leave to visit with our neighbor and I chuckle having one more mystery in my life solved. They promptly return.
Evan: "Noah still won’t take me to Mrs. Bet TEA’s house."
Noah: "Mrs. Bet SEE isn’t home."
From the mouths of babes July 30, 2009 2:37 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Evan, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentLooking down at the trampoline I see one child drawn and quartered by four other children. They waddle to the edge of the trampoline and start rocking the captive child back and forth as if to throw her from the trampoline to the ground. Then they release sending the captive nearly to the other side of the trampoline with a flop.
Me, opening the window and softly calling down into the valley: "Hey Noah! Do me a favor and make sure we don’t go to the hospital. I don’t have time for that today."
Earlier it was:
Me: "Evan. We have guests. They don’t want to see your penis."
You know.. there should be a book they give to new parents titled, "these are the ridiculous things you will say" with a list of the absurdities you will utter. I’ve said them all!
add a commentSwine Flu May Be In The House July 19, 2009 3:20 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Health, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentWe have a child in quarantine. Several scouts in our troop have come down with Type A flu. Type A flu is not necessarily H1N1 but likely to be. More details after I finish my programming. This has caused great soap opera quality drama. Cathy will likely post information before me at either Domestic Psychology or on Twitter here.
add a commentBoy Scout Camp Ends Early July 16, 2009 11:51 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad, Of Interest, Scouts , 3commentsTwo of the scouts in our troop fell ill. In swine-flu paranoia, our troop was quarantined and are being sent home early. Instead of taking the two sick children to the local hospital for confirmation of the nature of the illness, the camp isolated them in the health lodge and confirmed our scouts to their camp. I do not know if today’s activities were canceled. I suspect that Noah only gets 1 out of 3 days actually riding a horse, an activity he paid extra for participation. I feel Noah was cheated. Not over the horse but for potentially losing all of today’s activities, for being separated from the rest of the camp unable to dine in the mess hall or participate in the week’s ending ceremonies, for losing all of tomorrow’s activities, and for losing Saturday’s morning. I understand risk management. I understand the need to prevent a flu outbreak. I also understand the importance of living our lives in a non-reactionary, logical way. My initial feelings are this was handled wrongly. I’ll learn more tomorrow.
There is reason for the paranoia. The WHO has declared that the H1N1 virus is "unstoppable" and that every country needs to vaccinate its citizens against the swine flu. Interestingly enough, the WHO is no longer counting individual cases. Anyone need a mask
Update 17 July 2009: The quarantine has been lifted. The temperatures on the two sick children came down which is not typical of h1n1. Those boys went home last night and this morning no one else showed any symptoms. Good call CDB!
3commentsAway with no cellphone signal July 12, 2009 1:32 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad, Of Interest, Scouts , 4commentsThe 13 year old boy left this morning for a week of adventure including fishing, orienteering, rock climbing, wilderness survival, and canoeing at Boy Scout Camp Daniel Boone. The 7 year old girl left a few minutes ago for 3 days of adventure at Girl Scout Camp Tanasi. They are both thrilled. I wish I could be with them to see their happiness, watch them work through their fears and learning, hear their giggles, and to get some camping in myself. I know they will both have a fantastic time!
Sarah comforting Amy during Amy’s first trip to Tanasi
Child Protective Services – Don’t read this July 2, 2009 11:15 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, Health, Juggling, Noah, Of Being Dad, Sarah , 4comments
Here’s some additional information about the rolla bolla from my comment on Cathy’s flickr set:
4commentsI now get to tell a story which may or may not add a little bit of a technical appreciation for what’s happening in this picture. My rolla bolla freaks other jugglers out. Mine is completely homemade. It uses a 4 inch diameter thick pvc pipe. The board itself happens to be exactly the same length as a shelf in a homemade bookcase I built for my dorm room in college because it is one the shelves which happen to be precisely 19 inches in length. Most jugglers are more accustomed to using rolla bollas closer to 3 feet long. For instance, Dube’s is 29 inches (btw, there’s your spec).
Juggling is all about physics. This is center of gravity trick. The longer the board, the greater the center of gravity. In essence, if you drew a line from the ground up to the top of your head (or the head fo the person on your shoulders) that divided your torso symmetrically and simply made sure that line never passed over your foot, you would never fall down. Since my board is so short, there is very little room for error. One way to cheat the physics is to use a larger diameter piece of pvc but frankly the 5 inch pvc tends to flatten a little taking away from the visual effect (in addition to simply being disproportionate to the other equipment and plain ugly).
Regarding the pvc when making a homemade rolla bolla. I learned the hardway that the pvc pipe should be the same width as the board (or slightly larger). If it is smaller you create a third degree of freedom and you might as well be doing this trick on top of a ball.
Don’t use those stupid stoppers on the bottom of your board! If you look at the Dube rolla bolla you will see that the underside of the board has stops at each end. This prevents the board from flying at high velocity to your left or right severely hurting people. Instead the board stops and you go flying at high velocity to the left or right breaking yourself and the people standing beside you. When we were first learning this trick. My brother fell off the board and sent it flying into a filing cabinet. 3 days later we were still trying to open the drawer. Without the stoppers you can safely take the board to the very edge without falling. I mean the very edge being exactly at the halfway point on the pvc pipe. Instead of the stoppers, control your board.
You can break things with a rolla bolla! These things may include: glass, bones, teeth, spines, and metal cabinets. When learning to stand on a rolla bolla do these things:
- Get a partner! Have the partner stand behind you with their arms underneath your armpits but not touching you. When you fall, they will spot you and keep you from breaking yourself
- Make sure your feet are at the edges of the board.
- Wear shoes!
- Practice daily in short spurts
- Start with the board touching the ground on one side and about one third of the board on the pipe. Starting by jumping up to a horizontally balanced board is cool and fun but an advanced trick that will land a beginner on their hind side.
The rolla bolla will increase your balance, develop your abs and back, and tighten your buttocks.
Warnings!
- Don’t let people stand to your left or right. I cannot emphasize this enough.
- If you fall…er…when you fall, think of yourself as being on a skate board or inline skate. Protect your wrists! Better to belly flop on concrete than to impact your wrist, elbows and knees
I will happily get together with anyone that wants help learning the rolla bolla.
DeadRising Wii Feedback Needed May 31, 2009 12:53 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Games/Puzzles, Noah, Of Being Dad, Of Interest , 4comments
Noah just upgraded from 12 years old to 13 years old. He went into Target with his birthday money and came out with a Wii game called "Deadrising – Chop Till You Drop" The kids play first person shooters but Tommy brought one home from a friend’s house once that had so much foul language that I had to ban it from the house. I like to keep violence in check with the children. I am realistic about it. Play acting or gaming violence is part of being a kid. Today’s games do have the opportunity to be far too graphic. This one is rated M for mature and says 17+. The element are "blood and gore," "intense violence," and "language." I have more hesitation on this one because the Wii is in the common area, it is likely to be seen by the 4 and 7 year olds.
So, my gaming friends, do I let the 13 year old keep this game or force him to return it and buy something less violent and graphic? Having the Wii spewing out profanities is probably my biggest concern.
4commentsFrom the mouths of babes May 28, 2009 6:20 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad, Sarah , add a commentSplashes!
Noah, assisting Amy and Evan in evening baths and getting frustrated: "Evan! Stand up!"
Me: "Sarah, please give your brother some backup."
…because life with 5 children is like a police drama.
Happy Birthday Noah! May 24, 2009 11:57 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentMy son officially moves from Tween to Teen today. Slow down!
add a commentSounds like…embarrassing May 13, 2009 1:19 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, From the mouths of babes, Noah, Of Being Dad , add a commentNoah has done so well with his phone that I was considering canceling the insurance plan on it (which is $4.95/mth with a $50 deductible..can you say ripoff? I knew you could!) So naturally, despite placing it in a ziplock bag, Noah soaked his phone at Dollywood. In this day and age, with five children including socially active teens, cell phones have moved beyond convenient toys to necessary family organizing tools. The rule of the house is that if you lose or damage your phone before your scheduled upgrade, you get a clunker from the boneyard in the garage. Noah ended up with an antique Siemens (phones are now BenQ). After complaining about the pixelated screen, he tried to pronounce the company name:
Noah: "Sigh sigh mens"
I interrupt, "It’s pronounced sea mens."
Noah: chuckles
Me: "Yeah, like that."
How could I forget about the funny homophones of middle school! Ew, better not say homophone around Noah.
add a comment
