Reality Me » Of Being Dad

Evening goal – relax

Doug McCaughan — Sun, 27 May 2012 01:38:48 +0000

I really wanted to have a nice relaxing Saturday night to clear my head and find some extra happiness. Oh, of mice and men! Slow FTP. What could I do? Naturally, run to the steamed broccoli drive-thru. While at the local Chinese buffet, struggling to understand what the staff was trying to say, my phone buzzed with a panicked child, "The bathroom is flooding! Come right away!" I reply, "but I’m not at home." The ten year old quandaries, "where are you?" My head explodes, picturing a naive child talking on the phone, a wife unknowingly cleaning in the basement, while rivers flow through my home. All was well. The flood was bad. But our saving grace, were the tampons for they absorbed it well.

From the mouths of babes

Doug McCaughan — Thu, 24 May 2012 16:40:34 +0000

Tommy: "We need a kitten."
Me: "No we don’t."
Tommy: "I’ll take good care of it."
Me: "When you have your own place to live, you can have a kitten."
Cathy: "If you clean the litter box for our cat every day for one month, you can have a kitten."
Tommy: "Yea!"
Me: "Make it six months."
Cathy: "One month."
Me: "I don’t want another cat!"
12 days later, Tommy: "12 days and I’ve cleaned the litter box every day."

I think I have roughly 18 days to build Tommy a small apartment near Amy’s clubhouse.

Parenting can be so hard

Doug McCaughan — Fri, 18 May 2012 00:42:53 +0000

I Cry

10 years have got behind you

Doug McCaughan — Mon, 07 May 2012 14:17:40 +0000

To look in the mirror and see your father looking back is a bit shocking; to see your grandfather looking back is down right disturbing!

Wednesday

Doug McCaughan — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:49:45 +0000

I cannot improve upon Cathy’s Pulitzer Prize worthy post. Do read!

From the mouths of babes

Doug McCaughan — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:51:49 +0000

From the neighbor’s yard: "ba baw baw baw ba ba baaawwwk!" pause "ba baw baw baw ba ba baaawwwk!"
Me: "Son, do you know what that noise is?"
Clueless 15 year old: "Uh, some bird?"

Obviously, I don’t get my children out enough.

Parenting – Giving the World to our Children Just Isn’t in the Budget

Doug McCaughan — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:25:27 +0000

As a parent, I maintain an uncomfortable level of stress over family finances. I constantly think about my family’s health and the related expenses (forecasting braces, emergencies, regular checkups, etc.), education (saving for college, extracurriculars, making sure there are funds for participation in activities and providing necessary supplies – n.b. public education is far from free!, home schooling to supplement school teaching, family field trips, etc.), our bills (housing, utilities, etc), entertainment (for a balanced life, vacations – a rarity, toys, etc), food, maintenance, transportation….the list goes on and turns my stomach to think about the gross amount of money it takes to maintain a healthy and well-balanced family. I remember the very first time I held a $100 bill; it was so much money and seemed so unreal. Now, it feels like I regularly burn Ben Franklins.

One of the painful aspects of being a parent is realizing the opportunities presented to your children which they have to forego due to financial reasons. I regret not flying to Germany to watch The Wall being torn down during a Pink Floyd performance but I knew the sacrifices I would have made to make that trip and as a young adult I could accept those. A young child gets their hopes and dreams set on something like a camping trip and simply does not have the means to understand why we have to say no. Teenagers better understand but it still pains me to shoot them down.

So I stare at my calendar. An imaginary glow illuminates the critical dates where income appears in the bank and the due dates where bills suck the accounts dry. I see the dates of an 11 day hiking trip I scheduled with my son and his scout troop and ask myself, "will the family understand eating Ramen noodles for a month to make this trip happen?" Then the phone rings, "There’s an opening on this year’s Philmont trip. It’s the last time our district will send a contingent making this a once in a lifetime opportunity for your son. The cost is $2000 plus personal expenses." My heart sinks to my toes.

From the mouths of babes

Doug McCaughan — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 13:38:32 +0000

N.b. I’m on blood pressure medicine now and my cholesterol is high so I’m supposed to be exercising and dieting.

Too many errands during lunch so I splurge and go into McDonald’s as the drive-thru line was far too long.

Me: "Um.. I’ll have a quarter…wait.." I point at the picture of a grilled chicken sandwich. "My doctor would like me to eat that. But I really want a quarter pounder with cheese meal please."
Ladies behind me: Laughter.
Me, turning toward them and seeing that they are nurses from Park West Hospital: "Shhhh. Don’t tell the doc."
Ladies: "That’ll cost you a fry."
Cashier: "I guess we won’t be supersizing that then."

Thank you world for looking out for me!

Air conditioner doubles as fire starter

Doug McCaughan — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 12:48:39 +0000

Our air conditioner has died. Last time it died was in July/August of 2007 and the temperatures were so hot that the insurance company paid to house us in a hotel for the 9 days of the repair. This time the weather is bearable and the repair is quicker. However, this does not come without drama. While the repairman was checking on the outside unit, he asked me to throw the 30 amp breaker at the inside unit. When I did, the breaker box erupted in flame and threw a shower of sparks. This small breaker box (holds a 30 amp dual pole breaker and a 60 amp dual pole breaker) does not currently attach to our wall so I was holding it in my hands at the time. Very exciting!

Apparently the breaker did exactly what it is designed to do. After opening the box, not a wire was burned. No insulation melted. I just received a light show. I can imagine that if I were to dissect the breaker itself that the innards would be melted sludge.

So, the breaker kept the house safe. Now, the big lesson I learned: Don’t ever tell the wife there was a fire inside the house!

Of Being Dad

Doug McCaughan — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 15:32:32 +0000

I’m getting to spend time with my daughter working on her homework. This is extremely rewarding! My work has recently taken me away from my family and I miss the quality time with my children and wife.

What is parenthood?

Doug McCaughan — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:15:37 +0000

Parenthood is spending $150 before your first cup of coffee.

From the mouths of babes

Doug McCaughan — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:22:41 +0000

Me: "It’s like VHS and Beta."
Noah, 15 years old: "I don’t think I know what VHS is."
Me: old as dirt.

Memory flush

Doug McCaughan — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:07:33 +0000

It’s never a good time to suddenly remember that you need to buy a new plunger.

To Live, To Love, To Learn, To Leave a Legacy

Doug McCaughan — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:14:03 +0000

I slowly explained, with long sentences and great clarity, "To Live, To Love, To Learn, To Leave a Legacy" to the six year old. He listened intently. Repeated my words. And questioned. But there was a definitive moment when his fuse clearly popped.

While Cathy was away, the boys played!

Doug McCaughan — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:02:01 +0000

Cathy went to visit Sarah in New York City. The grandparents basically had Amy and Evan for the entire trip and Noah for much of the trip. That left Tommy and me at the house alone. Tommy, like Freakzoid, gets sucked into the Internet so I basically had the house to myself for duration of her trip minus the time I spent for clients and the time I spent juggling at Boo at the Zoo. So what happened in that time? The yard had a major cleaning of the junk which had been accumulating for a decade. The house received a sweeping and mopping. Then there was this surprise for Cathy: