"Murphy was an optimist!"
House Committee Hearing Tomorrow! Your pets are in danger! April 22, 2009 1:01 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Pets , add a commentI almost let this one slip by. Contact your representative today if you love your pets.
Anyone with pet fish, birds, reptiles, or small mammals will be affected by this bill. Any company selling product or services for pet fish, birds, reptiles or small mammals will be affected by this bill. Would you be impacted by "The Nonnative Wildlife Invasion Prevention Act"?
- Virtually all fish in an aquarium are not native to the United States
- Most pet birds are species not native to the US
- Most reptiles kept as pets are not native to the US
- Hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs and ferrets are not native to the US
I think this comment from Facebook sums it up well:
add a commentMandy Kilpatrick at 12:25am April 19
It’s really backwards. They need to work on this. I’m all for protecting native wildlife and plants from harmful imported critters…but every area will have different problem animals. The problem critter that might thrive in Florida more than likely won’t be a problem in Minnesota. This is a ridiculous way of facing the problem. Needs work. Write your reps!
How to become an outdoor cat March 3, 2009 3:25 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Pets, Two Paws , 2commentsBecoming an outdoor cat is simple. Just sit on your master’s desk and when he disturbs your slumber by moving the computer mouse, draw blood by attacking his hand. Nooo! Don’t go to the "trying to save you from the mouse" defense!
Oh, whichever crazy cat person talked me into not declawing that cat, you were wrong.
2commentsDog Days February 5, 2009 8:30 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Dharma, Family, Molly, Pets , add a commentI’ve heard of dog days of summer but for my two German Shepherds, a cold morning with frozen ground seems to be most desirable. They love this weather! They romp and roll and chase and pounce. I enjoy seeing them play.
add a commentKnoxville Polar Bear Club January 8, 2009 11:28 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Dharma, Family, Molly, Of Being Dad, Pets , 4commentsI have now been outside, in a bathing suit, playing in cold water for the second time in January 2009. I returned home from Knoxville’s first Geek Breakfast to find the dogs outside frolicking in the mud. Dharma looked like she was doing an impersonation of a happy pig on a hot sunny day. So I stripped down and changed into only a swimsuit and my Teva Mush flipflops. Now, Molly, a 110 pound German Shepherd, is rather obedient but still doesn’t like being soaked in cold water so I get a little bit of a back exercise from her. On top of the existing pain from my trench war, I’m left unsure that I can do anything with Dharma but when I call her she approaches obediently. I’m impressed and hopeful. I hit her with the water and it turns bad quickly. Dharma howls like a werewolf in pain. She fights and twists. Holding her by the collar just won’t work. I grab her firmly by the scruff of the neck. She howls louder and tries to wrestle free. I fear that if I let go she’ll run from the yard and disappear. The blister on my thumb from the trench wars peels off leaving painful raw skin. Dharma jumps up on the lawn chairs and I worry that she’ll break a nail or hurt a leg. I wrestle her away form the chair and she knocks it over giving her access to the glass top table on the porch. She gets two paws on it and I expect to go crashing through but manage to pull her back and regain control. She sits but howls as the postman drives up to the mailbox. He waves but I know he secretly wanted to film the hilarity. "See anything interesting on your route today Bob?" "You wouldn’t believe me if I told you." Thank goodness that snow never came!
4commentsThe scream was like a banshee in pain October 12, 2008 9:30 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Dharma, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Molly, Noah, Of Being Dad, Pets , add a comment
The house quieted. Evan declared, "Give me bop. I go bed now." And with a little reluctance, he put himself to sleep. Noah coaxed Amy to bed but she sprang back after he slipped out to read a book. In the meantime, I took the dogs outside and sat on the porch, shirtless to enjoy the cool evening air with no mosquitoes and chant. Shortly into chanting, the peaceful neighborhood with its waxing gibbous moon (96% full) being sung to by crickets erupted into a cacophony of barks and howls. I continued to chant and Dharma and Molly, my German Shepherds, sat silently alert. Then there was the shriek! Altogether to close! Thanks to our camping in the Okefenokee, I am quiet familiar with the sound of fighting raccoon and I do not want my dogs tangling with one of those. Chanting ends. I usher the dogs inside to find Amy having trouble sleeping so we go to her bed and chant together until she is calm enough to sleep.
Of Being Dad October 9, 2008 8:45 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Dharma, Evan, Family, Noah, Of Being Dad, Pets, Sarah , 2commentsThis morning was cool…until I got up. Cathy swapped roles with me this morning and got the children ready for school. What a relaxing way to start the day! I allowed myself 20 extra minutes of sleep then calmly got dressed and went upstairs to lend a hand by making Amy’s lunch. We were right on time to make the bus but pushing it. I had a simple plan: Amy and I run to the van and get to the bus stop. I remind the air, "Don’t let Dharma out!" It has been raining and I don’t have time to clean her feet for a van ride and still be able to get Amy to school. Then Evan runs into the kitchen with sticky buns caked to his hands. I exclaim, "Go wash your hands" but he needs help and no one is moving his direction. Cathy and I simultaneously take him to the bathroom and wash his hands. Suddenly Evan is to be a passenger. I’m watching the clock tick knowing that we are at a coin flip on making the bus or not. We rush to the front door and it magically opens and Dharma shoots out. I lunge for her and miss and she lands paws in the mud then digs in to race to the van. I lose it. I engage chase and booming voice (sorry neighbors). Dharma does something new, and hides under the van. All I picture is a dog that now needs a bath on a day that I don’t need distractions. She won’t come out so I honk the horn (sorry neighbors), yell, toss some rocks, why am I still trying to make the bus, the neighbor returns from the bus stop, the children are out trying to help so I yell at them to go back inside, Sarah gets Dharma out, I smack the dog and drag her by the scruff of the neck back inside, children are crying, dog is scared, and everyone is mad at me.
How could this have gone differently? All I had to do was close the front door. Within 15 seconds, Dharma would have been scratching to come inside. We could have said something witty and laughed instead of cried. And who cares if we missed the bus. I want to be that perfect tv dad. Can I have take 2?
2commentsFrom the mouths of babes September 11, 2008 8:31 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Daily Life, Dharma, Evan, Family, From the mouths of babes, Molly, Noah, Of Being Dad, Pets , 1 comment so farAmy, three, with Noah, twelve, beside her: "Can the dogs go with us to school?" (she means carpool)
Dad: "Sure but don’t let them in the car until I wipe their feet."
Noah, Evan, Amy and the dogs walk out the door. Dad from the front porch hollers: "Don’t let the dogs in the car until their feet get wiped."
Noah walks to car and puts hand on door handle. Dad yells: "Don’t let the dogs in the van!"
Noah opens the door and lets Dharma in with no effort to stop her.
Dad goes on a tirade: {this part is unprintable}
Noah: "I thought you were talking to Amy."
How to express discontent August 20, 2008 5:00 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad, Pets, Two Paws , add a commentOur indoor cat is fairly tolerant. The litter box can be down right foul and she still uses it. Last night my pillow was marked by the cat. This morning the dog bed was marked by the cat. A pair clean pants was marked by the cat. And now, the couch marked by the cat. Perhaps she was expressing her discontent that someone had thrown trash into her litter box.
Today I learned that I can punt a 30 yard field goal and have the football land on its feet. Perhaps I was expressing my discontent over an expression of discontent.
add a commentThat clean feeling..briefly August 3, 2008 9:53 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Dharma, Molly, Pets , 2commentsThis morning I arose to a quiet household, took a meditative scalding hot bath, and was feeling exceeding clean right up until that moment I stepped out of the bathroom to discover…dog vomit.
2commentsCat Kills Bat; I have evil thoughts for cat July 30, 2008 3:56 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Gray, Pets , add a commentThe outside cat killed another bat! How am I supposed to create a colony of bats with a bat killer outside?
add a commentThe punctuation at the end of the sentence April 25, 2008 10:29 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Dharma, Family, Molly, Of Being Dad, Pets , add a commentWhat is today’s punchline? We locked the dogs in the bathroom to get Noah to his black belt test tonight. One of the dogs could not wait until we got home so we have runny dog poop all over the bathroom and two dogs to bathe. Of course I have to be up at 6am so I can get the car to Firestone for a new tire, rotation and alignment check. There may be a midnight beer run in order.
add a commentMy child walks the road where dogs go to die April 20, 2008 5:53 pm
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Amy, Cathy, Daily Life, Family, Of Being Dad, Pets , 5commentsThank you strangers, whoever you were, for delivering my child from harms way. See, I just washed the dog, was shirtless, and looking fairly unpresentable having just returned from leading 17 boys on a rock climbing camping trip. By the time I grabbed a shirt you were gone. I suppose I should have just gone to your car. It would have completed the picture of an irresponsible white trash parent for you. My almost 6 year old daughter was trying to find the neighbor’s dog after it ran away and the neighbor, thinking the children wouldn’t wander far, told the children they could not come back into the house until the dog was found. My daughter knows she cannot go past a certain marking on the street but apparently did not know she could not cross the creek. That creek is thick with mud and still has water from our recent deluges. She found her way to Northshore Drive which is one of those roads riddled with crosses on the shoulder and enough road kill to create an A to Z picture book of dead animals. This is the same road I fought for three years to convince the school that our elementary school bus stop should not be on that road.
I have to say this event has created conflict in so many ways. The wife and I are bitterly angry at each other because I grew furious that she wouldn’t go greet you. She did not understand what I was asking, did not see you pull up, and also considered herself unpresentable. Instead you met my oldest son. He has an issue with social situations and does not understand things like asking for your name so that I have some semblance of a clue about whether or not you were friends or just plain good Samaritans. You also met my dog who is a very friendly and safe German Shepherd but has taken to running toward strangers at the house with a fear inducing bark but really she just wants to say hi and let us know you are here. I got mad because I just soaked myself and made my back ache giving her a bath on the porch but apparently I am the only person in our family capable of opening the front door without letting the dog outside. I am upset with my daughter for straying so far from home, for being on such a dangerous road, and for getting in a car with someone she did not recognize, "because she told [her] to get in and [she] didn’t want to be rude." At the same time, I am thrilled that she got in the car with you! I will have to re-think this whole brainwashing our children to not trust strangers bit. After all, aren’t most people good? Shouldn’t we trust each other? Thanks again for keeping my child safe!
Update: Later the neighbor did drive out and find their dog safe and sound.
5commentsStrange Animals April 14, 2008 10:48 am
Posted by Doug McCaughan in : Daily Life, Dharma, Family, Gray, Molly, Pets , add a commentMy nearing 4 year old German Shepherd is laying on the porch. The outdoor cat is rubbing on her and laying in her lap. The nearing 6 month old German Shepherd is in the yard with her head quirked and a perplexed look on her face as if to say, "Now’s your chance! Why aren’t eating it?!"
add a comment
