Last night I asked my son if the dogs had enough food for this morning. This word "yes" I do not think it means what he thinks it means.
Category: Pets
Food for the first time!
Why is that every morning the cats act like they’ve never experienced our feeding routine before?
More upset than I expected
We all have our time. It comes. It goes. I’m pragmatic. I’m stoic. So I am surprised at how upsetting today has been to me. I am also a romantic. A philosopher. The physical manifestation is just that…something expected and done. The problem is the metaphorical interpretation of today’s event reaches too deeply into my being. I require downtime. And distraction. But responsibilities have to be dwelt with first.
Either genius or stupid
Depending on your perspective, this is either a genius or not very brilliant solution to a cat problem. The kittens have taken to chewing electrical cords. At $80 a cord, Apple is loving our kittens. So, I’ve decided to train them away from cords…by squirting them with water when I see them chewing a cord. I think it is a spark of genius! One way or another, this problem will end.
Yard work…befuddles my children and pets
I finally bit the bullet and purchased a new lawnmower. My yard kills these things. It has been a looong time since we have cut our grass. The dogs are outside with me with the most perplexed looks on their faces. I can read their thoughts: "I don’t know what he’s doing… but it sure is going to make pooping easier."
The Excitement of Excrement
Seeing the first cat turd in a new liter box is almost as exciting as discovering your newborn’s first poopie in their diaper.
Stupid Human Tricks
When the cat starts howling in warning that it is going to wretch then starts doing the whole gag while turning its body into a slinky thing on your couch, wrestling with it will not stop the hair ball from coming and once you dig the claws out of the couch holding the cat at shoulder height will only result in an Andy Warholish splatter paint of horribleness on the living room floor…saved the couch though.
And this is why in my next life I’m coming back as a trust fund baby
How to make Mom frown
Dad: "Noah come here for an important PSA."
Dad: "Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought him back. But only in a fable. In real life, cats don’t come back."
Noah: "Ok."
Dad: "But the cat came back for it wouldn’t stay away."
Dad: "Well, he came back in a song. But not real life."
Dad: "So, the cat has taken to climbing into the dryer."
Dad: "And if you ran the dryer with the cat in it you know what that would mean?"
Dad: "It would mean that our furniture wouldn’t get further scratched up."
Dad: "All joking aside."
Dad: "It would be bad to run the dryer with the cat in it."
Dad: "Because it is really difficult to get the smell of cooked cat out of cotton."
From the mouths of babes
Wife: "May I buy kitten food?"
Me: "If I say no, will it go away faster?"
Apparently, that was not the correct answer.
From the mouths of babes
Tommy: "We need a kitten."
Me: "No we don’t."
Tommy: "I’ll take good care of it."
Me: "When you have your own place to live, you can have a kitten."
Cathy: "If you clean the litter box for our cat every day for one month, you can have a kitten."
Tommy: "Yea!"
Me: "Make it six months."
Cathy: "One month."
Me: "I don’t want another cat!"
12 days later, Tommy: "12 days and I’ve cleaned the litter box every day."
I think I have roughly 18 days to build Tommy a small apartment near Amy’s clubhouse.
Wednesday
I cannot improve upon Cathy’s Pulitzer Prize worthy post. Do read!
RIP Gray
Exactly how many animals can I bury in my yard before I have to get licensed as a pet cemetery?
Dogboarding
So wrong, yet so right.
Dogboarding from DANIELS on Vimeo.
Because mouse guts go with bacon
My morning duty today is to cook bacon and clean mouse guts off a large stick that up until this week I would have called sterile. See, the pet shop didn’t have any small rats. Only very large "small" rats so we decided to buy two large mice instead. Either the snake didn’t see or smell the second rotting mouse or he just wasn’t that hungry. And we forgot to check on it. So a couple of days later, the lump of gooey fur became my problem. I have to go flip the bacon now and find a toothbrush I want to forever sacrifice. Enjoy brunch!
