I’m the game of will between you trying to sleep in and the hungry cats trying to get fed, the cats will win every time.
Category: Pets
Lazy Saturday
Stoned dog
Annie says, “I have no idea what is going on. I taste colors. I see fractals. I’m beginning to understand the true nature of the universe. I am dog!”
N.b. We thought Annie was suffering a partial tear in the dog equivalent of an acl. That’s a $4000 surgery. Turns out she pulled her groin. The treatment is 10 weeks of sedation, pain medicine, and muscle relaxers. My only question is: what can I do to pull my groin? I could use the rest.
Annie loves the doctor
Antimony gets so excited at the vet’s office. Has to jump on everyone and kiss all her new friends.
At the vet to discuss a $4000 surgery to fix a torn ACL for Annie the dog. But there is no tear. Dog pulled her groin. No surgery for that. Dog gets 10 weeks of rest. Yes, a golden retriever has to rest…for 10 weeks!
Words of Wisdom
Don’t drink and buy apps for your cat.
From the mouths of babes
Me: "Goddammit, quit stepping on the cats!"
(Probably not the most constructive statement in the moment)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I’m pretty sure as a child I wanted to be an architect (thank you Dad and Michael Brady), and maybe an astronaut, and definitely an entertainer; but NEVER do I recall saying, “Hey, I’d like to spend the better part of my adult life cleaning up pee and poo and other bodily fluids.”
…dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
Just once
I’d really like to get through one day without uttering the words, "Goddamn dog."
Sunday mornings
The cat wants to play fetch while the dog wants to be on the other side of the door.
Get up
The animals have decreed that it is time for me to wake up.
The antialarm
It is impossible to get out of bed when two cats are sleeping on you.
Pets do not make you live longer
Pets do not make you live longer. They kill your husband off earlier which gives you the illusion of living longer.
How not to start the day
My mornings should not begin with me walking around muttering to myself, "fucking cats."
Feeding Frenzy
I awake at 4am and suddenly all the animals think, "Yea! New feeding time!"
