Category: Deep Thoughts

Everyday I come a little bit more to terms with the fact that I’m alone and the rest of you are simply constructs of my imagination. I’m sure this creates some very large problems for each of you on a quantum level but I cannot be held accountable for that since you don’t exist. That is all.

If everyone only spoke when spoke to, the world would be a very quiet place.

A beautiful aspect of aging is you get to have thoughts like, "I wonder if I could braid my nose hairs."

We have a variety of interesting smells in the house today. So as I try to track down their sources, I leave you with a reminder that the 5 states of matter are gas, solid, liquid, plasma, and milk:

Things that should never…be solid: milk.

Things that should never…be done together: nakedness and boiling water. For example, one should never make tea naked.

I don’t say f*ck nearly enough! (how the hell do you pronounce * anyway?)

I am overwhelmed by the enormity of what I do not know.

Of all the things I ever wanted to be, I am none of them.

Over the years, I have been told that we have two ears and one mouth because we should be listening twice as much as we speak. The truth of the matter is that for the most part, speaking is a waste of effort. I think it takes most of our lives to realize this which is why its the old men who keep their lips shut; has very little to do with hearing loss.

Maintaining the illusion of normalcy during troubled times is like maintaining the illusion that you can breathe underwater. However, both are important.