Reality Me

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  • Dear Starbucks, we have an issue…

    Recently, Starbucks introduced its iPhone app which allows you to associate a Starbucks gift card with the phone and a credit card with the application. When I make a purchase from Starbucks, I simply show them the QR Code (bar code) on the phone and I’m done. Plus I get bonuses like a free drink after so many uses. I can also put more money on the application with a couple of taps of the screen. Almost too easy. And I get annoyed. That’s right ANNOYED!

    See, your wonderful application has made it easier than ever for me to spend money at Starbucks. I calculate my expenditure at Starbucks since installing the iPhone app has quadrupled. Where do I get annoyed? It’s your employees. You’ve made it incredibly easy, and almost fun, to make purchases at Starbucks and your employees kill it when I try to hand them my phone and they utter, "I’m sorry. I’m not allowed to touch your phone." Well yes they are. Because I have given them permission and I speak those words, "I give you permission to take my phone." In short, that means I assume liability. If they drop my phone in a sink of soapy water, it’s my fault.

    Watching a barista do acrobatics out the drive through window to stretch a scanner beyond the length of its cord because they won’t take my phone in their hand is absurd. To tell me I have to come inside to use the application is counter productive. But, since this seems to be such an issue, I now avoid your drive through which means sometimes I avoid your business altogether. That’s right. You created an application that dramatically increased my business with you. But you are quickly creating an employee culture that is driving me away.

    Dear Starbucks, I ask you to do something simple. Tell your staff that if I give them permission to take my phone, they can. And if you really need to cover your ass, just put a sign by the register and at the drive through window that reads "Starbucks cannot be held liable for damage to your phone if you hand it to our employees" then have your employees ask, "Do I have permission to hold your phone?" Thanks!

    Update: If I accidentally leave my phone on the counter, does this policy mean that management won’t touch it? Or do they pick it up and put it in a lost and found?

  • From the mouths of babes

    Evan, 5 years old, has religious debate: "It’s kinda weird."
    Amy, 8 years old: "What do you mean?"
    Evan: "Well, Jesus. How did he create himself?"

  • The Internet has nothing left for me

    I’ve now seen it all.

    Btw, according to this comment, the scuba gear cost $20,000.

    I’m a cat lover, and if you’ve ever seen an extended clip, you’d know that this guy? spent $20,000 on the kitty scuba gear. Now I can’t imagine burning that kind of cash on something so… silly, but he did it because Hawkeye really loves the water. I think this is more a case of a ridiculously pampered pet rather than animal abuse (though I could rescue a whole bunch of cats with $20,000…) [Source

    Well there is this.

  • An Artificial Light

    [n.b. 1st draft of an incomplete one that’s been sitting on a piece of paper far too long]

    There’s a crowd in here
    With so many voices
       and so many noises
    How can one be so alone
    In such a crowded room

    There’s a party in here
    Everyone is having fun
    Except for one
    Who knows
    It’s an artificial light.

    With a flicker flutter
       Pop a fizz
    We’re all aware
    We all know
    It’s an artificial light
       about to blow
    And the darkness comes
    Because all artificial lights
       burn out
    The light has to go.

    The sun is shining bright
    Birds are singing
    Daises tickle the bellies
       of cats playing with dogs
    Rain has washed the clouds away
    Only fog in the shadows remain
    The sun is shining bright
    It’s an artificial light.

    A shiny man lies in my closet
    He wears the clothes
       that no longer fit me
    The light in the closet
       burned out long ago
    The shiny man does not care
    He lives in the darkness
       with nothing to fear
    But an artificial light.

  • I need therapy!

    [Source, dailymail.co.uk, Bare your soul: Meet the naked therapist who solves patients’ problems by stripping off during sessions]

    In the old days, they called these Internet cams and the cost was $5 per minute, not that I’d personally know anything about that but I’ve cleaned enough "phone dialers" off client computers to acknowledge that we live in a very sexually driven society. So at $150 for an hour, this therapy is a bargain albeit probably less, um, "interactive" than the other ones.

  • My Family Needs a Bus

    Volkswagen is bringing back the microbus!

    It’s powered by an electric motor and uses an iPad to control the entertainment system, climate control and other functions. Volkswagen said the Bulli can go up to 186.4 miles on a single battery charge. That’s far, considering that the Nissan Leaf is rated at 73 miles on a charge by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. The Bulli can go up to 87 miles per hour.

    [Source, MSNBC, Hippies rejoice! VW unveils new version of microbus]

  • Sometimes you nail it

    I love our East Tennessee skies. And one of the reasons I haven’t upgraded to an iPhone 4 is my iPhone 3GS captures pictures like this:

    An East Tennessee evening sky

  • Don’t steal…ask for help.

    Last night I learned that someone drove through our neighborhood between 1am and 3am Sunday night/Monday morning looking in people’s cars and stealing easy to grab stuff. For instance, two neighbors both had left wallets on the dashboard and are now sans wallet. One lost a camera but other obvious grabs like checkbooks and radios were left alone.

    This is the first I’ve heard of any incident like this since I moved to the house in 1997. It feels like a dry run so I’ve notified the Sheriff and put the neighborhood on a property watch. I hope the crooks don’t return. I’ve got good neighbors. Several are good ol’ boys in the neighborhood would are watching now and we do live in the county.

  • R.I.P. MyBlogLog

    Note to self: Shall I ever own a successful web company, I will never sell to Yahoo!

    Dear MyBlogLog Customer,

    You have been identified as a customer of Yahoo! MyBlogLog. We will officially discontinue Yahoo! MyBlogLog effective May 24, 2011. Your agreement with Yahoo!, to the extent that it applies to the Yahoo! MyBlogLog, will terminate on May 24, 2011.

    After May 24, 2011 your credit card will no longer be charged for premium services on MyBlogLog. We will refund you the unused portion of your subscription, if any. The refund will appear as a credit via the billing method we have on file for you. To make sure that your billing information is correct and up to date, visit https://billing.yahoo.com.

    Questions?
    If you have questions about these changes, please visit the Yahoo! MyBlogLog help pages.

    We thank you for being a customer on Yahoo! MyBlogLog.

    Sincerely,

    The Yahoo! My BlogLog Team

  • From the mouths of babes

    Wife, texting: "What’s your plan?"
    Me, texting back: "Homegirls!"
    Wife, texting: "Wear a condom."

    Thank you Apple. Your autocorrect on "Homebound" has either gotten me in serious trouble or given me a hall pass.

  • Destiny

    Oh! I got on the train to ‘bitter, old man’.

  • This should happen in every traffic jam

    When the roads slow to a crawl..DANCE!

  • Full Moon Tonight

    My spine tingles. My face is flush. My energy is high. I can tell that tonight the moon shall be full. Something tells me that somewhere in my ancestry someone had a thing with a werewolf.

  • This does not make me proud

    The land of the free, the promised land, the place people once longed to visit or immigrate is quickly becoming the land to stay far away.

    going to the US is more unpleasant than going to Soviet era Russia or even Iran 10 years ago. Sure, you sometimes have to bribe people, but at least I’ve not had gear stolen off me during security checks or had people break my gear without at least compensating me.

    And taking pictures. Well, let me put it like this: you are 20 times more likely to get hassled for whipping out your camera anywhere in the US than in, say, downtown Teheran.

    I offer this as an observation from the outside. The US is isolating itself and it is becoming a very, very unpleasant place to visit. I often talk to fellow travellers and even a lot of business types in nice suits often relate how they’d rather not travel to the US if they could help it and that they’d rather work with people in Europe or Asia. I can relate to that.

    [Source, Reddit, Why I stopped travelling to the US and I largely stopped doing business in the US.]

    My fellow Americas. Can we please return to the pre-9/11 sensibilities we once had?

  • Call to action: WordPress Developers Please Comment

    Hello WordPress developers! (me included). When you make a theme, I implore you, please use a simple html comment at the top of each page to identify the template. For example: <!- – TEMPLATE: single.php – -> would allow someone unfamiliar with your theme to look in the generated source and see which template(s) are influencing the output. Yes, experienced WordPress developers should already know which files are being used but we don’t write themes only for experienced developers. And even experienced developers get stuck, tired, or would like things to be sped along and a simple comment, <!- – TEMPLATE: page.php – ->, would help tremendously. Thank you!