Apparently I am still not channeling this guy.
Year: 2007
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Why do I even try?
Master: Nothing changes without effort.
From the mouths of babes
Amy, 5 years old: "I don’t want to die. Dead is forever."
Bad Dad
Amy needs some attention right now and all I can give her is "Daddy has to work." I should work while everyone else sleeps.
PG-13 means dick jokes
Thank you Bindlestiff Family Circus for making me have to explain "deep throating" to my teenagers.
Me: "Do you know what deep throating is?"Teenager: "Yes. It’s when you swallow something partly then spit it up."
Me, thinking: *close*
I enjoyed their stark stares of dread as they tried to melt into the upholstery during my explanation. They needed an explanation because it was clear they didn’t understand when they made a dozen deep throat jokes in front of the grandfather between the theater and the parking garage. Of course, I really appreciate the detail at which you explained the proper use of a condom. I have been trying to figure out how to have that conversation with them and now I don’t need to.
Thank you for the interesting date for the first half of the show. I certainly would have enjoyed sitting with Cathy but I suppose this is called a variety show for a reason.
Your show was innovative and right in line with the style I like to attempt in my performances although I’m more G rated. Thank you for keeping the spirit of Vaudeville alive. I had a blast! Of course, Danny would probably like to know that a highlight of the show was having the very Republican father-in-law sit motionless as the theater erupted into its most raucous cheering and applause in response to the very pointed GW Bush jokes.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Too many thoughts!
Master: Pick one.
Time to work; can’t.
I am finally settling in to work. Yes, the rest of the Eastern seaboard is heading out to lunch having already worked half their day. However, I’m so mentally worn out that I’m not sure I can accomplish anything. Why can’t I be more like this guy?
Sixty-four-year-old Thai Ngoc, known as Hai Ngoc, said he could not sleep at night after getting a fever in 1973, and has counted infinite numbers of sheep during more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights. “I don’t know whether the insomnia has impacted my health or not. But I’m still healthy and can farm normally like others,†Ngoc said.
[Source]
Do you lie to keep your spouse happy?
In college, I dated a girl who, along with her mother, went out of their way to lie to her father to keep him happy. I’m pretty sure my sister and mother do the same for my father. Do other people do this? When did happiness, false happiness at that, become more important than truth?
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Oh Hell!
Master: No, this is just a preview.
That’s my girl!
Take your free speech over there please
[Source]
Attention CFers! Alagad is Hiring
Alagad sounds like the kind of company I always wanted to start. If you are an advanced CF developer, and want to work from home with a flexible schedule, this opportunity might be for you!
Today’s nonsequitir
If your monkey has an itch, do you scratch it?
Programming challenge!
I’ve submitted my question to the TinyMCE support forum. Can you figure it out before they can?
Stressed? See the Sheriff
Nothing takes a stressful day and heightens it quiet like having a visit from the Sheriff’s department first thing in the morning. So we are late out the door to get Sarah to school. Evan, Molly and I lead out and I see a non-descript car sitting in the cove. Driver spots me and rolls over to the driveway. Oh hell. I prepare myself for bad news. Sure enough, it’s a deputy here to serve a summons to court on a bad debt but not for me. He gets out. Molly lunges and barks (brilliant!). He’s looking for my ex-wife and despite the number of times I have communicated back to the company trying to collect on her that she hasn’t been here for the better part of a decade, they still tried to serve her at this address. The deputy was very kind and polite and offered to riddle the records with notes that she doesn’t live here. He said hopefully the collection agency will stop bothering us.
