It’s that time again. See how flexible Doug is. Will he bend? Will he break? Does he blend? Are his morals sound? Is his constitution resolute?
Month: May 2012
Parenting can be so hard
Secret Pleasures
I must admit, I become very amused when people I know in real life let me know they read Reality Me! Thank you my friends!
Deep Thoughts
Too much happening in the head; too little happening through the fingers.
To rue the day or not to rue the day
This day shall not own me!
For it is Monday
And I am master of my calendar!
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Tell me it is going to be okay.
Master: Do you already know the outcome?
Of Grasshoppers
Student: The mind is tired.
Master: The body is weak.
Oral Happiness
Stuck it in the mouth
And wiggled it about
Thrust back and forth
Then took it out
The stuff left behind
Was then spat out
Felt so good
Want to do it again
Brushing teeth
Leaves such a grin!
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Lifestyle changes in my imminent future.
Master: Ah! You’ll have a future!
10 years have got behind you
To look in the mirror and see your father looking back is a bit shocking; to see your grandfather looking back is down right disturbing!
Why didn’t they warn us!
Do you remember sex education in middle and high school where they told us about all these horrific things our bodies were about to spring on us? Why didn’t they tell us about the things that matter‽ Like freakishly long nose hairs! Braidable nose hairs! And I’m not even old yet. The horrors! And man, if my wife only knew the things I’ve done with her eyebrow tweezers!
Arrow to the Knee!
I’ve earned my knee socks. That’s right, I’ve been Scoutborged. With Noah working up the ranks in Boy Scouts and Evan having begun scouts as a Tiger scout, I find myself a leader in both Cubscouts and Boy Scouts and Cathy has earned her Scout Widow badge. In June, I will be going on an adventure with Noah to hike in the Canyons of Utah for 9 days (with no cell phone or Internet!) This past weekend, Amy, Evan and I toured and slept overnight in The Lost Sea Caverns. The Weekend before that, Evan and I hiked for miles around Camp Buck Toms, slept over night, and came home with ticks. The weekend prior to that I slipped while doing yard work and torqued my knee. And today, three weeks later, my knee is still tender, hurts to touch, and I cannot put much weight on it.
So, I just paid $25 to have my doctor tell me I’m out of shape. End of story. So to celebrate, I decided to go to Cookout and have a cheese burger with onions, french fries, and hush puppies..MMMMMMmmm. While waiting for my food, I look around the joint and every morose soul there is 2 to 3 times my overweight size. They don’t speak or smile. Slow Jesus rock emanates loudly from the store speakers. For a moment, I consider leaving the five dollars and change worth of heart disease on the counter to escape quickly. In weakness, I grab the food and Cheer Wine float, return to work, and joined a gym.
Protected: Catharsis
godfuckingdammitmotherfuckingsonofabitch!
State of Me
Frustration level 99