Author: djuggler

Student: I won’t talk about the problem.
Master: Then I won’t talk about the solution.

One of the beautiful things about marriage is you can do something wrong and go to your grave having never figured out what it was.

The camera appears to be working again. Unfortunately I think Cathy is wearing pants.

Student: Opportunity knocks.
Master: Read the small print.

Student: I’m up early!
Master: Will you dream while awake?

I knew they were coming but this is the first pods i have seen. What a great idea!

How to horrify Dad.

While walking through Walmart, Amy (3) says, "He’s black."
We continue walking as Dad processes Amy continues, "I want him to be like us."
Dad thinking he misheard the conversation asks, "what?"
Amy declares, "I want him to be white."

A thousand thoughts rush through my head most questioning how I could possibly be teaching bigotry to my children. Let’s see. No racial jokes. Hmm. We don’t have many friends from other races and cultures right now but for the most part our schedules and economics have alienated ourselves from everyone so we don’t really see many people outside of the family. I do like the theme song to All In The Family but I don’t think that would do it. Finally I land on the conclusion that it is simply the naivety of a child’s world.

Dad, the Meathead that he is, flubs with "that’s not nice. We like people just the way they are."
Mom upon hearing the story soars in on angelic wings and artfully delivers this wonderful metaphor of crayons to people and how boring our pictures would be if the only color in our box was white.

Both ladies left Dad’s chin on the ground today!

Heard this on NPR this morning and was appauled appalled! Appalachistan sums it up.

My child owns 2 of these. Work safe but some dirty words and could potentially deflower innocent minds.

Oh look! Wikipedia might explain some of Amy’s 3 year old behaviors:

Amy is a given name, a variant of Aimée, which means beloved’ in French which in turn is a derivative of Latin’s amicus or amica which means friend.
AND
In demonology Amy is a demon, a Great President of Hell.

Strangely enough, I must give Tim credit for pointing this out.

Student: Change hurts.
Master: Not changing hurts more.

Woohoo!

Goodbye woods. Goodbye calming walks. Goodbye thoughts of grooming a walking trail. Blasted developers.

The nine year old stares intently into the microwave containing the stash of glazed doughnuts scavenged from Krispy Kreme last night. Krispy Kreme gives one free glazed doughtnut for every A on a report card (limit 6) K through 8. They used to give any free doughtnut of choice but some nimrod, whiney parents brought an end to that but I’ll save the rant for another time. Noah scored a full half dozen. Sarah got 2 but received 4. Tommy aged out. The hot doughtnut sign was on and to keep peace in the house I bought another dozen which if divided evenly between Mom, Amy, Dad and Tommy would give each of the non-qualified eaters 3 doughtnuts.

Let’s return to the nine year old staring into the microwave as if he’d discovered the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything (amz). Upon inquiry he reveals that he is trying to decide between eating out of the large box or his box. "That way once all those doughnuts are gone I still have these." I am taken back by the selfishness but amused at the ingenuity of the thought process. A quick math discussion, along with a definition of "staleness," and Noah makes the right decision.

Student: The rain is here.
Master: Even Mother Nature needs to cry and is better for it.