Reality Me

Category: Noah

  • It’s hard to be teen

    My 15 year old now rides the city bus to school. I love the concept! He loves getting a seat to himself, having air conditioning, and getting to use wifi on the ride to school. I have to believe that after a cost analysis, the school system will find that the cost of the city wide bus pass is cheaper than contracting the big yellow buses.

    There are hiccups of course. Today, I dropped him at his stop and received a phone call once I was on the interstate, "Dad, I forgot my wallet." I turned around and picked him up. We drove home and he ran into the house, returning with his wallet. He accompanies me to Mojoe’s Trailside Coffeehouse and enjoys a frozen mango something or other while I drink a red eye and the both of us explain the STEM academy to the owner. Eventually, I give Noah the option of hopping on the bus at a nearby stop or having me drop him off. He opts to be dropped off at the school.

    Later I’m talking with my wife and she asks, "Did you know that Noah forgot his bus pass today?" Of course, I brought him home to get his wallet. She replies, "but his pass is still in yesterday’s pants…" Good thing I didn’t leave him at that second bus stop!

  • Egad! Another one of driving age.

    Happy Birthday Noah! You’ve grown altogether too quickly.

  • Knoxville STEM School Excites Students

    The student/parent orientation and final tour of the STEM school before major renovation begins was this week. Noah received his official acceptance letter and will be one of 43 students in the sophomore class. A graduating class of 43! My graduating class from Germantown High School in 1988 was 672 people. I can only imagine how unique and special Noah’s education will be. The orientation was akin to a family reunion. Everyone seemed to know each other and be very like minded with regard to the goals of education. The principal is extremely enthusiastic. I have high hopes and think the Knoxville STEM Academy will do great! Oh, one of the highlights was the announcement that all students will be issued an iPad 2. There will be no textbooks. I’m thrilled and I’m thrilled for Noah.

    Video source: WBIR.

  • Of Being Dad – C cells

    When I was 14, I was using mnemonics to memorize the color bands on resistors. Today I learned my 14 year old son doesn’t know what a C cell battery is.

  • Weekend Project – Day 18

    The corner trim work has begun!

    Weekend Project - Day 18

  • From the mouths of babes

    Two weeks ago we had the van professionally cleaned.

    Noah, 14 years old, last night: "Hey! The van is clean!"

    All this time I’ve been trying to figure out why teen minds turn off; I should have realized they’re just lagged.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Me: "Have you ever read a newspaper?"
    Noah, enters high school in a few weeks: "No."

    Me, rejoicing that my saw actually does cut the angels I need.
    Evan, 5 years old: "Did you know you’re talking to yourself?"

  • Of Being Dad – Smack Talk

    There’s something wonderfully amusing in listening to the four year old talk smack with the thirteen year old.

  • From the mouths of babes

    Dad: "Have a good day!"
    Noah, walking to the door: "Will do."
    Dad, noting that Noah is wearing a thin long sleeve shirt and no jacket: "Stay warm."
    Noah: "I hope so."
    Dad: "You do understand that staying warm has less to do with hope and more to do with attiring yourself appropriately in layers, right?"
    Noah, continuing to walk to the bus stop: "Yup."

    This feels familiar almost like an 8th grade winter ritual.

    If you’re gonna to be dumb, you gotta be tough. [Source]

  • Dad of the Year!

    I just stressed one of my children out so bad he threw up. Topic? Grades. Very effective technique to end a discussion. Have to give him points there!

  • From the mouths of babes

    I dropped the milk. The cap popped off and poured all over the floor.

    Me: "DAMMIT!"
    Evan, 4 years old: "Dad said dammit."
    Mom: * gives Dad eyeballs *
    Amy, 7 years old: "Moooom! Evan said dammit!"
    Evan: "No, Dad said dammit."
    Amy: "Don’t say dammit."
    Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, don’t say that. It’s a dirty word."
    Evan: "No! Dammit. Dammitdammitdammitdamitdamitdamitdamtdatmdaaaaammmmmmmit!"
    Mom: covering her face in towels to hide her laughter.
    Dad: hiding in the fridge unable to breath laughing.

    Uncle already! I get the message. Mouth meet soap.

  • We have a new baby in the house!

    Dear Knox County Schools, If I beat your fancy $500 electronic baby, does my son lose points because abusive granddad was raised in the 70s? Sincerely, I have 5 children I know what a baby crying all night sounds like and so does my son I thought I was done when Cathy said we couldn’t have a 6th

    Yes, we have an electronic baby in the house this weekend. The irony is that Noah has probably changed more diapers and spent more baby time than many of his schoolmates ever will. If this is demented sex education lesson on abstinence, I give the schools an F because we don’t educate through fear and making the wonder of life a thing to dread. If the lesson is truly about the responsibility of caring for a child, I give this gadget an A+. This is a cool toy and Mattel had better step up because my 7 and 4 year old children are loving it! The diapers even have to be changed! Oh, I like the fact that there are no Caucasian electronic babies because I’m sure my son’s absentee interracial girlfriend is going to be quite the buzz at the inlaw’s church. I wonder if Noah will have the wherewithal to actually turn electrobabe into the daycare instead of carrying he/she/it into the teenager’s sanctuary.

    Update: I just learned that the baby and Noah are more than a certain distance apart that the baby’s head explodes because Noah has an electronic wrist band secured to his wrist. Side note, you really should secure the bands a little tighter because I’m quite certain that I could slip it off Noah’s wrist so that he could help Evan get to sleep but no, we will be honest and I will take over for Noah tonight. Of course, I could get Evan to sleep easier if your do dad had a mute button! I must say that it is amusing watching Noah try to put electrobabe down long enough to play his video game only to have crying drag him away from the keyboard with a grin and an eyeroll.

    Update: Electrobabe turned off about midnight. I have the sneaky suspicion the program was set up wrong and we’ll be seeing this child again.

  • From the mouths of babes

    One of neighbors is named Betty. The children address her as Mrs. Betty. Recently Evan started calling her Mrs. Betsy. I would correct him placing emphasis on the second T.

    Evan, 4 years old: "Mrs. Bet see."
    Me: "Say Bet-T"

    This Betsy-Betty back and forth has gone on for weeks. So Evan has taken to really adding pause and emphasis to the second part of her name "Mrs. Bet TEA." Today I understand why.

    Evan: "Noah won’t take me to Mrs. Bet Tea’s house."
    Noah, 13 years old: "Evan, it’s Bet SEE."
    Me: "No Noah. It’s Betty. Bet TEA."
    Noah: "Oh."

    The boys leave to visit with our neighbor and I chuckle having one more mystery in my life solved. They promptly return.

    Evan: "Noah still won’t take me to Mrs. Bet TEA’s house."
    Noah: "Mrs. Bet SEE isn’t home."

  • From the mouths of babes

    Looking down at the trampoline I see one child drawn and quartered by four other children. They waddle to the edge of the trampoline and start rocking the captive child back and forth as if to throw her from the trampoline to the ground. Then they release sending the captive nearly to the other side of the trampoline with a flop.

    Me, opening the window and softly calling down into the valley: "Hey Noah! Do me a favor and make sure we don’t go to the hospital. I don’t have time for that today."

    Earlier it was:

    Me: "Evan. We have guests. They don’t want to see your penis."

    You know.. there should be a book they give to new parents titled, "these are the ridiculous things you will say" with a list of the absurdities you will utter. I’ve said them all!

  • Swine Flu May Be In The House

    We have a child in quarantine. Several scouts in our troop have come down with Type A flu. Type A flu is not necessarily H1N1 but likely to be. More details after I finish my programming. This has caused great soap opera quality drama. Cathy will likely post information before me at either Domestic Psychology or on Twitter here.