Category: Noah

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Boy Scout Camp Ends Early

Two of the scouts in our troop fell ill. In swine-flu paranoia, our troop was quarantined and are being sent home early. Instead of taking the two sick children to the local hospital for confirmation of the nature of the illness, the camp isolated them in the health lodge and confirmed our scouts to their camp. I do not know if today’s activities were canceled. I suspect that Noah only gets 1 out of 3 days actually riding a horse, an activity he paid extra for participation. I feel Noah was cheated. Not over the horse but for potentially losing all of today’s activities, for being separated from the rest of the camp unable to dine in the mess hall or participate in the week’s ending ceremonies, for losing all of tomorrow’s activities, and for losing Saturday’s morning. I understand risk management. I understand the need to prevent a flu outbreak. I also understand the importance of living our lives in a non-reactionary, logical way. My initial feelings are this was handled wrongly. I’ll learn more tomorrow.

There is reason for the paranoia. The WHO has declared that the H1N1 virus is "unstoppable" and that every country needs to vaccinate its citizens against the swine flu. Interestingly enough, the WHO is no longer counting individual cases. Anyone need a mask?

Update 17 July 2009: The quarantine has been lifted. The temperatures on the two sick children came down which is not typical of h1n1. Those boys went home last night and this morning no one else showed any symptoms. Good call CDB!

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Away with no cellphone signal

The 13 year old boy left this morning for a week of adventure including fishing, orienteering, rock climbing, wilderness survival, and canoeing at Boy Scout Camp Daniel Boone. The 7 year old girl left a few minutes ago for 3 days of adventure at Girl Scout Camp Tanasi. They are both thrilled. I wish I could be with them to see their happiness, watch them work through their fears and learning, hear their giggles, and to get some camping in myself. I know they will both have a fantastic time!

Sarah and Amy at Tanasi
Sarah comforting Amy during Amy’s first trip to Tanasi

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Child Protective Services – Don’t read this

Juggling with EvanJuggling with Amy
Juggling with SarahJuggling with Sarah
Cathy on topJuggling with Noah

Here’s some additional information about the rolla bolla from my comment on Cathy’s flickr set:

I now get to tell a story which may or may not add a little bit of a technical appreciation for what’s happening in this picture. My rolla bolla freaks other jugglers out. Mine is completely homemade. It uses a 4 inch diameter thick pvc pipe. The board itself happens to be exactly the same length as a shelf in a homemade bookcase I built for my dorm room in college because it is one the shelves which happen to be precisely 19 inches in length. Most jugglers are more accustomed to using rolla bollas closer to 3 feet long. For instance, Dube’s is 29 inches (btw, there’s your spec).

Juggling is all about physics. This is center of gravity trick. The longer the board, the greater the center of gravity. In essence, if you drew a line from the ground up to the top of your head (or the head fo the person on your shoulders) that divided your torso symmetrically and simply made sure that line never passed over your foot, you would never fall down. Since my board is so short, there is very little room for error. One way to cheat the physics is to use a larger diameter piece of pvc but frankly the 5 inch pvc tends to flatten a little taking away from the visual effect (in addition to simply being disproportionate to the other equipment and plain ugly).

Regarding the pvc when making a homemade rolla bolla. I learned the hardway that the pvc pipe should be the same width as the board (or slightly larger). If it is smaller you create a third degree of freedom and you might as well be doing this trick on top of a ball.

Don’t use those stupid stoppers on the bottom of your board! If you look at the Dube rolla bolla you will see that the underside of the board has stops at each end. This prevents the board from flying at high velocity to your left or right severely hurting people. Instead the board stops and you go flying at high velocity to the left or right breaking yourself and the people standing beside you. When we were first learning this trick. My brother fell off the board and sent it flying into a filing cabinet. 3 days later we were still trying to open the drawer. Without the stoppers you can safely take the board to the very edge without falling. I mean the very edge being exactly at the halfway point on the pvc pipe. Instead of the stoppers, control your board.

You can break things with a rolla bolla! These things may include: glass, bones, teeth, spines, and metal cabinets. When learning to stand on a rolla bolla do these things:

  1. Get a partner! Have the partner stand behind you with their arms underneath your armpits but not touching you. When you fall, they will spot you and keep you from breaking yourself
  2. Make sure your feet are at the edges of the board.
  3. Wear shoes!
  4. Practice daily in short spurts
  5. Start with the board touching the ground on one side and about one third of the board on the pipe. Starting by jumping up to a horizontally balanced board is cool and fun but an advanced trick that will land a beginner on their hind side.

The rolla bolla will increase your balance, develop your abs and back, and tighten your buttocks.

Warnings!

  1. Don’t let people stand to your left or right. I cannot emphasize this enough.
  2. If you fall…er…when you fall, think of yourself as being on a skate board or inline skate. Protect your wrists! Better to belly flop on concrete than to impact your wrist, elbows and knees

I will happily get together with anyone that wants help learning the rolla bolla.

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DeadRising Wii Feedback Needed

dead-rising-wiiNoah just upgraded from 12 years old to 13 years old. He went into Target with his birthday money and came out with a Wii game called "Deadrising – Chop Till You Drop" The kids play first person shooters but Tommy brought one home from a friend’s house once that had so much foul language that I had to ban it from the house. I like to keep violence in check with the children. I am realistic about it. Play acting or gaming violence is part of being a kid. Today’s games do have the opportunity to be far too graphic. This one is rated M for mature and says 17+. The element are "blood and gore," "intense violence," and "language." I have more hesitation on this one because the Wii is in the common area, it is likely to be seen by the 4 and 7 year olds.

So, my gaming friends, do I let the 13 year old keep this game or force him to return it and buy something less violent and graphic? Having the Wii spewing out profanities is probably my biggest concern.

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Sounds like…embarrassing

Noah has done so well with his phone that I was considering canceling the insurance plan on it (which is $4.95/mth with a $50 deductible..can you say ripoff? I knew you could!) So naturally, despite placing it in a ziplock bag, Noah soaked his phone at Dollywood. In this day and age, with five children including socially active teens, cell phones have moved beyond convenient toys to necessary family organizing tools. The rule of the house is that if you lose or damage your phone before your scheduled upgrade, you get a clunker from the boneyard in the garage. Noah ended up with an antique Siemens (phones are now BenQ). After complaining about the pixelated screen, he tried to pronounce the company name:

Noah: "Sigh sigh mens"
I interrupt, "It’s pronounced sea mens."
Noah: chuckles
Me: "Yeah, like that."

How could I forget about the funny homophones of middle school! Ew, better not say homophone around Noah.

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Grub Master

I was in front of my computer roughly 17 hours yesterday. Most of that was actually typing code. I am a Assistant Scout Master for my son’s Boy Scout troop although lately I have passed on meetings and activities in lieu of working. I skipped Monday’s meeting only to find out my son volunteered to be the grub master for this weekend’s trip. The way our troop works is one scout buys all the food for his patrol and is reimbursed. The idea is that the patrol plans the meal then the scout works with an adult to calculate portions and costs and buy the appropriate supplies. It is a good activity for developing their planning skills. The grub master should check the food pantry in the scout room for existing supplies (which I’m certain my son did not do). Unfortunately my son did not check with my secretary to see if I had one iota of spare time for this activity. Since their trip begins at the church at 5:45 today, Noah gets home from school with little time between school and the church, and Cathy will be doing her weekly trip to the Kentucky border this afternoon, I find myself faced with taking my lunch hour now to do Noah’s shopping for him. I should add that I don’t even get to go on this trip! (I very badly need a camping trip) This weekend they get to go to a fishing camp, clean and debone their food, cook it, and choose to eat powerbars instead.

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Knox County Schools – Your lack of creativity astounds me

Yesterday my middle schooler came home with a permission slip for a school field trip to Dollywood with a catch: The price is $43 and only the first 75 students to return a check and signed permission slip get to go. That’s not right! Additionally, the field trip will not allow the students on the water rides because Knox County Schools got all trippy after the death of a student at the waterfall 6 years ago. Yes that was a tragedy but we should have learned from the failings of supervision at that trip and continued water related activities but instead Knox County Schools decided bubble wrapping the children will protect them. Guess what? That won’t protect them either. I suppose Knox County Schools is assuming that of the 2.5 million visitors to Dollywood, our trip will be the one where highly inspected, super safety protected, engineered to simulate danger in the most cautionary way, equipment will fail at the same time all the trained and licensed lifeguards happen to be taking smoke breaks. It could happen! Denying water rides at a theme park? That’s not right! Can we make it better? What about not allowing digital cameras? Yes! Let’s prevent our children from the memorializing their time with their friends by not allowing them to take pictures. Granted, the school is afraid of being responsible for loss, theft or damage to a digital camera. Well guess what Sherlock! If I send a digital camera to school with my child and he loses it, that’s between him and me. I have an old digital camera sitting on my desk wasting away. If it got lost I’m out nothing. Of course, you want me to go buy an antique point and shoot disposable camera that is limited to 24 shots and cost an arm and a leg to print some thumbs over lenses. Brilliant! No wonder our children lag behind. Banning cameras? That’s not right! Eventually we will ban, regulated, lock up, and overprotect ourselves to being scared to death. What will you deny then? Don’t be scared or we’ll suspend you! Well guess what? That’s not right!

Oh, and today, my son brought home a permission slip for the band field trip. Guess where they’re going? Dollywood! (different day) That’s not right! For all the wonderful things we have in East TN, can our schools find nothing fun and mind expanding for our children? Oh, no, of course not; Knox County Schools is too worried about my digital camera. That’s not right!

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Snow Day!

The Weather

Yesterday started off beautiful and almost spring like but the forecast said we were at the high for the day and the children were just getting off to school. As the high schooler left in a t-shirt and no jacket I suggested that she was making a mistake.

Our routine

Cathy and I have a routine that makes having 5 children in 5 schools work without anyone losing their sanity. I’m a morning person and Cathy is a night owl. So I get the duty of waking the children, making sure they are ready for school, and seeing them off. Sometimes this cuts into my morning productivity so at night when Cathy is getting the children bathed and ready for bed, I am often downstairs typing on my computer in the evening. I drive the children in the mornings; Cathy picks them up in the afternoons. I cook the dinners; Cathy does the dishes and laundry and lays out the children’s stuff for the next day. (Yes, the children help and have chores..to listen to the children, they have so many more chores than their friends…)

The Drive In

Yesterday, I took Evan to pre-school. As we drove, Spring turned to rain. Rain became mixed with snow. Evan arrived at school 18 minutes late (9:18). I left noting that Weigel’s had gas at $1.629 per gallon. I was on fumes but thought I’d buy at Sam’s. I forgot and drove right past it because by now the mix of snow and rain had turned completely into large, fluffy snowflakes. It was beautiful!

The Cancellations

At 11:00am, the pre-school calls to say that Knox County Schools is considering canceling and wants to get a jump on it. Cathy is caught off guard having only downed half her daily dose of caffeine so I’m off to pickup Evan. [Update: I am reminded that Cathy couldn’t drive because Evan hid her driver’s license..which we just found today.] I test the road in front of our house and it is already slick. I achieve a 15 foot slide with ease. Noting that I need gas badly, I pull into Weigel’s. The gas has rocketed to $1.779/gallon! I put just a little in and decide to fill up at Sam’s. We are out of milk so I look like a snow panicer as I go in for a gallon. The tertiary roads are a bit scary and the secondary roads are slushy (that’ll become ice!). The primary roads are fairly clear. While picking up Evan, Knox County Schools officially cancels at 12:30 (an hour away) so Cathy and I debate pulling Sarah out early.

Bearden High School Clusterduck

I drive to the high school and the line is already long. The elementary school calls to say some buses cannot get the children and they are asking all parents to come pickup the kids. As I sit in line pointing uphill on Gallaher View Road, the slush compresses and turns to ice under my tires. Each time we nudge forward, my wheels try to spin and slide. The high school makes a royal mistake and instead of having their duty officer directing traffic, he is inside directing parents into the office. See, since school isn’t officially canceled for another 40 minutes, parents still have to walk into the school and check out their children who are on the break of becoming adults. The duty officer and a couple of others should have been directing traffic and someone with a clipboard and a radio should have been letting parents sign their children out from the cars ala drive-thru. They could have done the paperwork as the cars entered the parking lot and radio’d the office to send the child out. That would have prevented road rage, dangerous situations and sped the process along. As it was I ended up parking on the grass and walking into the school to find that the line for the office was about 20 minutes long. At this point, the students would be dismissed in about the same time. Evan has played in the snow in front of the school, shoes wet, socks wet, and pants soaked to the knees. He and I give up on the high school and start driving to the elementary school. Traffic at the high school has backed up onto Kingston Pike and is now interfering with the normal flow of traffic.

Rocky Hill Elementary

Cars are backing up traffic on Morrell Road as they try to either turn into the bus lane or go against traffic to turn into the carpool lane. Why don’t these parents just drive to Northshore and turn left at the CVS? The line is lengthy but no more so than a normal carpool line. You can tell the parents who never drive their children because they keep hopping out of their car to look up the road trying to figure out what is taking so long. The road behind the school has a 90° turn. Snow melt from the tires has covered that corner and traffic has me stop in the turn. When traffic begins to move, the van doesn’t. Oops. After some gentle encouragement, I am moving again but I worry about the cars behind me bouncing off one another as they try to navigate that turn.

Teenage Drivers in the Snow

Sarah calls for the pickup plan while I wait in the elementary school line. I had told her to walk to Downtown West so that I wouldn’t have to fight the high school traffic mess. She and her mother adjust the plan to have her walk to the mall. Sarah gets her boyfriend to drive her to the mall; his father is following behind. She asks if the boyfriend can driver her home. Both his father (whose parents live in our neighborhood) and I firmly say, “NO!” My neighborhood is a bit like an Alpine slide in the winter and is the last to see any road clearing equipment from the city or county. I agree to letting the father, a Philadelphia native, drive her home. Evan is miserable from his cold, wet wait in the car. I drive Amy and Evan home. Sarah arrives a couple of minutes later.

Bearden Middle School

The middle school buses cannot run until all the elementary school students have been bused home. I debate picking Noah up. One phone call later I learn he is already on a bus en route so I take some pictures of the jolly children and dogs enjoying the snow, then I retreat to the basement to do some programming. Telecommuters don’t get snow days.

Conclusion

Knox County Schools made the right choice to wait and see what would happen with the weather. They made a poor choice by not anticipating the rush of parents to the school when it got out that they were debating canceling schools. The schools need the equivalent of an evacuation plan for handling heavy traffic when closures happen. The plan should include traffic direction, separate entrances and exits to the school to avoid congestion, allowing children to use cell phones, and keeping parents in their cars rather than having them exit and go to the office. Here’s how the high school should have worked: The Gallaher Road entrance becomes exit only with a patrol car directing traffic to the south entrance of the school. The Kingston Pike entrance becomes an exit only. This forces all traffic to the Gleason Road entrance with the possibility of congesting traffic on Gleason but takes advantage of being able to create a much longer line of cars on school property in a single file rather than having any merging. Traffic direction has the line of cars S through the ROTC parking lot to maximize the number of cars off the city roads and on the school property. Traffic direction has cars go north beside the stadium, left past the bandroom, north beside the western side of the building, right in front of the school and then immediately left out to Kingston Pike or Gallaher View Road. Students should be allowed to contact their parents by cell phone or text message. If a student says, "my parents are waiting in line" they are dismissed on their honor to the office (not out of school) rather than waiting for contact from the parent to bring them down. Students contacted by cell or called over the intercom convene in the common area until their ride pulls up out front. A parent volunteer, teacher, officer, or other school staff with a radio in hand and a signout clipboard will be positioned far enough down the line to be able to call children out of class such that when the car gets to the front of the school, the student is already there. IDs are checked at the car, signatures taken at the car, and the loadout goes like clockwork. I was in the car for three hours trying to pickup children from schools and I only went to 3 of the 5 schools my children attend. The children really enjoyed the snow! And today is another snow day!

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From the mouths of babes

Noah and I went to the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra last night. It was COLD outside. Unfortunately, all of Noah’s dress clothes are at his grandparents so I attired him in some black denim pants and a short sleeve solid yellow polo shirt. Yes, he had a jacket.

Noah, 12.5 years old: "I feel like I’m the only person in here with a short sleeve shirt."
Dad: "You are."

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And I made a cloud

Cold. -4°C outside. Brrr. So I took Amy and Noah out on the porch and threw a pot of boiling water into the air. Both children enjoyed seeing the water turn to vapor and float across the yard like a scene from a Scooby Doo swamp. I let them have their moment and did not bother with the science lesson.

Temperature conversion by OnlineConversion.com.

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From the mouths of babes

Dad: "Noah, do you know that the school board passed a new rule allowing random searches at the school?"
Noah, 12 years old: "No."
Dad: "It means that teachers can just pull you aside and have you show them everything in your bag and pockets. How do you feel about that?"
Noah: "I’m not doing anything wrong so I guess I’m okay with it."

My heart sank. He gave the scripted answer! The system has him. I think Noah is old enough to read 1984, Brave New World, and Fahrenheit 451. Time to knock the dust of my copies.

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The afternoon play by play

Cathy had a debilitating migraine today. She had to hide under the covers in a dark room. I keep the television off as much as I could and Evan had imaginative self-play most of the day allowing me to work. Amy had Girl Scouts until 3:45. I decided I needed a quickie dinner tonight and called spaghetti. Everyone eats it except Noah, and the preparation and cleanup is minimal. Noah, the great consumer of ketchup and meat, on spaghetti nights chooses to ignore the stringy pasta covered with tomato based sauce usually with ground beef mixed in and instead cooks himself Ramen noodles. I left slightly early to run by Butler & Bailey for the sauce for tonight’s meal before picking up Amy.

I arrived at Girl Scouts as they were closing. The girls formed a circle and sang a song of friendship. As the circle formed, I noted the girls were down some steps in an amphitheater part of the school library leaving one girl in a wheel chair abandoned. I started to ask if she and I could join the circle but hesitated assuming this had been prearranged for some reason. I was wrong. The wonderful leader working hard, with only one other adult assistant and so many girls, had simply overlooked the wheelchair bound youth. I mentioned it to her and could see that she acknowledged her error. I didn’t want her to feel bad but am hoping that the girl won’t be left out of such an important part of the meeting. I feel sad for her. This is just the beginning and she will have to learn to be tough for a world that will intentionally and accidentally exclude her. I spoke to my daughter about it and encouraged her to speak up whenever the girl in the wheelchair is overlooked expressing that the leaders and the girl will really appreciate her actions. I don’t think she got the message.

It was now 3:58. We had to get from the elementary school to the high school by 4:00 to pickup Sarah and her friend. We arrived at 4:10 and I received a text message from Noah begging for fish food for SuperGuppie, the fish that swims in green water with 100 snails and never dies. The high school girls jump in the car and I ask, "How was practice?" to which I got a quizzical answer that they hadn’t gone yet and had to be at Hardin Valley High School at 5:30. That’s BFE West through rush hour traffic to the uninitiated. I tried to shortcut through the student lot to be close to the pet store but the security theater at the high school had already closed that gate. Cars cannot get through without a $12 bolt cutter but vandals can slip right through the gaping hole between the two gates. So I u-turn and head to Kingston Pike, slip past Margarita’s restaurant joking with the girls that we’ll eat there, then speed behind the buildings because it is fun and avoids speed bumps while passing the delivery trucks and smoking employees finally arriving at the exotic pet store. I leave all 3 girls in the car and grab an unusually large container of vegetarian colored flakes for the fish which is either 1) guaranteed to be spilled merciless all over the place by Noah or 2) through some great cosmic joke to cause the immortal fish to croak tonight. I return to the car to find the teenagers listening to one of XM’s comedy stations–aka "George Carlin influenced all these comedians." I suggest to Sarah that she find something more child friendly lest she wants to explain a little too early to Amy about the birds and the bees.

On the way home I torture the girls with Pink Floyd. I remember we have no milk and I stop at Weigel’s again leaving the teens in charge of the 6 year old. When I return with 2 gallons of cow juice the radio is still on Floyd. "Do you like Pink Floyd?" "NO!"

It’s 4:40 and water is on the stove. It’s 4:58 and the water still isn’t boiling. Sarah explains that we have to leave in 5 minutes and I give the girls the run down of the leftovers in the fridge which turns out to be a remarkable amount of decent food that needs to be eaten. They turn down my Aloo Sag and request McDonald’s. We turn the water off and hit the drive through. It’s 5:07 and we are turning right from Northshore to Morrell and we can hear the large Dr. Pepper falling out of its drink holder and pouring onto the girl’s flags, book bags, coats and streaming stickiness onto everything in the car. It’s 5:10 and the damage isn’t terrible but to return to McD’s for a new drink will make the girls late. They opt get her one from the drink machine at the school (I thought we did away with soft drinks at the schools).

It’s 5:28 and the girls arrive right on time despite the best efforts of Knoxville’s rush hour drivers and a wide load poking down Pellissippi Parkway. Once back at the house, Amy reminds me I promised she could help get the Christmas tree out. A little effort, a lot of happiness. The separate parts of the tree work their way upstairs. The bottom third is in the stand and I declare dinner time. I veto spaghetti, heat up some sliced carrots and bring out the leftovers getting plates made for the little two and leaving the other people to make their own choices. Evan declares he has to go potty. I rush him off for a little book reading in the "library" when I hear a thwack and a holler from Cathy. Once again she’s gone and kicked the middle part of the tree that I left in the middle of the living room. I leap out of the bathroom leaving Evan to his own accord so that I can remove the problem. Instead I see Cathy dripping blood on the hardwoods and a pile of glass below her foot. Amy and Noah leap from the chairs (barefooted) to rush to her aid. I raise a hand with a magical energy field that would have made Gandolf proud and command them back to their feets. Quick lecture about the goodness of helpfulness but knowing to ask if help is needed first. I’m in the process of cleaning glass from the floor while watching Cathy’s foot bleed and commanding the springs to get back in their chairs over and over when out of the bathroom a giggling Evan comes bounding toward the mess. All I can picture is a bottom covered in poo about to be spread everywhere. Noah is up again and rushes to the bathroom with one of his great nosebleeds. Amy is up to help him with instructions, "lean forward, pinch hard." I direct her back to her seat and encourage Evan to eat. Soon Noah returns. By this time the floor is clean of glass shards, the two blades of glass protruding from Cathy’s foot have been removed, I’ve tortured her with rubbing alcohol, and applied a bandaid provided by Amy.

You know…it’s a bit like juggling. Cathy says it more succinctly.