Me: "Happy birthday! What do you want to do on your special day?"
Evan, 13 today: "I’m going to spend the day at the pool with two girls from West High School."
Me: *Well, that escalated quickly.*
Category: Family
Happenings in a 5 child, 2 adult household.
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From the mouths of babes
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From the mouths of babes
This is what it is like having a phone call with your teenager:
Me: "I love you."
Teen: "Alright. Bye." -
So excited that I’ll wait
I have all the parts to build my new keyboard. I am on a pseudo-vacation this week. Building and programming the keyboard was one of my intended projects. At the airport, my 12-year-old son asked me not to build it because he wants to help. You can darn well bet that putting that keyboard together can wait a couple more weeks!
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From the mouths of babes
Evan: "Daaad, I know how to brush my teeth. I’ve been doing it for 12 years."
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Happy 16th Anniversary to My Wife
16 years of amazing adventures with Cathy and so many more adventures to come.
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From the mouths of babes
Evan, entering the house with an Amazon package: "The postman says we are his best customer!"
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From the mouths of babes
Noah walks in shirtless.
Mom: "Amy, put lotion on your brother’s back."
Amy squawks through the house: "Whaaaat?!"
Dad: "It puts the lotion on the skin!"
Amy: "Okay."
Noah: "I can do it." -
From the mouths of babes
Evan, ruefully, to his sister Amy: "You get to walk to the mall from school. I get to eat ice cream on the track."
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Now that’s why you spend extra money – customer service
Our Delta kitchen faucet has been dripping for weeks..er, months. Each drip is the resounding echo of money going down the drain. It is also environmentally irresponsible. Our fix was to put a sponge under the drip so the sink would quit imitating a bass drum. I dreaded replacing the washers but finally decided to do it only to find that mineralization had frozen the screw which holds the hand to the faucet so tightly that I thought I’d break the handle getting it off. I soaked it in vinegar for days and, eventually, it broke free. That’s when I discovered you cannot replace the washers. Delta uses a cartridge which you can from Amazon for $20 or HomeDepot for $25ish. When I went to HomeDepot, the kind salesperson suggested that I contact Delta because they warranty these things. Sure enough, I called Delta today and in under 3 minutes a free replacement cartridge is on its way. In 7-10 days, our drip will be repaired. I cannot believe I put this repair off so long!
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From the mouths of babes
I’ve jumped the shark.
Me: “Do we have an Xbox one?”
Noah, 20 years old, flatly: “No.” -
From the mouths of babes
Wife: "Your tent just rolled across the yard and it’s still rolling."
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From the mouths of babes
Me: "Who threw clothes on the stairs? I need to strangle a child."
My 14 year old daughter: "I’ll be right down!"
Me, to myself: "I don’t think she understood what I said." -
From the mouths of babes
My wife: "The squirrels are eating my bush. Would you check on it for me?"
Me: *blink* *blink* "Yes dear." -
From the mouths of babes
Mother: "Do you know you’re driving me crazy?"
11 year old boy: "Now I do!"
