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Stoned dog

Annie says, “I have no idea what is going on. I taste colors. I see fractals. I’m beginning to understand the true nature of the universe. I am dog!”

N.b. We thought Annie was suffering a partial tear in the dog equivalent of an acl. That’s a $4000 surgery. Turns out she pulled her groin. The treatment is 10 weeks of sedation, pain medicine, and muscle relaxers. My only question is: what can I do to pull my groin? I could use the rest.

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Annie loves the doctor

Antimony gets so excited at the vet’s office. Has to jump on everyone and kiss all her new friends.

At the vet to discuss a $4000 surgery to fix a torn ACL for Annie the dog. But there is no tear. Dog pulled her groin. No surgery for that. Dog gets 10 weeks of rest. Yes, a golden retriever has to rest…for 10 weeks!

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Her: “My head hurts.”
Me: “Can you smell things? How’s your sense of smell?”
Her: “I smell things fine. Quit jumping to that conclusion. If I stub my toe, you aren’t going to take my temperature.”
Me: “But lack of coordination is a covid symptom.”
Her: “I hate this life! Go away.”

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From the mouths of babes

Me: “So, Noah, how’s it feel to be gainfully employed?”
Noah: “Pretty good!”
Me: “You know that Weigel’s card in your car you use to pay for your gas directly from your parent’s bank account? Let’s give that back to your mother.”
Noah: “Oh. Okay.”
Noah, complaining to older sister: “They made me give back the gas card.”
Older sister: “What?! They never paid for my gas!”

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I played chess with my son

Last night, as I prepared dinner, I asked my youngest (14) if he wanted to play a game of chess. He eagerly agreed and after finishing his battle on his computer game, set up the chess set on the table. We started playing. I made a move then prepped an ingredient for dinner. Made another move, prepped. After I stood up for the third time, my son said, “Dad, I’m going to go do my school work before it gets too late.” That hit me in the feels. Fortunately, dinner was ready to go into the oven for 30 minutes. I felt I was a few moves away from checkmating him so I said, “I’m about to end you. Let’s finish. This will be quick.” He perked up and I gave my undivided attention to him and the game. In the blink of an eye, the oven beeped. 30 minutes passed in the flash of an eye and the game had turned. Two terrible moves by me gave my son control of the board and he destroyed me. Then he returned to his room to either study or game or both. It was a great moment.

I wish I could turn the clock back 19 years and make every night like last night. I have allowed busy to replace bonds. Excuses to prevent experiences. I have great children. They have had good lives. I could have done so much better. With the time I have left, I will do so much better!

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Tears of a Parent aka Oh How I Cry

My children may never know
How many tears I shed for them
Tears of joy for their successes
Tears of sadness when they are down
Tears of regret for my mistakes
Tears of anguish at my shortcomings
Tears of frustration for lack of time
Tears of angst for their future
Tears of confusion when they do not listen
Tears of acknowledgment that they walk their own path
Tears of befuddlement for making the simple hard
Tears of acceptance for innocence lost
Tears of pride for the compliments they receive
Tears of satisfaction when they smile at their achievements
Tears of ecstasy seeing them grow into independent adults