Man I’m feeling domestic right now. Dear Boss, could my wife go to the office for me this week? I want to do that whole Disney role swap thing for a week but perhaps without the body switching thing.
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
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Packing Frustrations
Every pair of Smartwool Hiking Sock
I own, and I own several, are missing. I presume Professor Teen has them all. I swear I’m going to quit my job and start a clothing company that specials in RFID chipped clothing including RFID chipped self-sorting socks. Normally I wouldn’t wear smartwool to a Bedtime with the Beasts sleepover at the Zoo but with the quantity of rain we are having I thought wearing something that would wick moisture from my feet would be nice. Time to repurchase all my socks and a clothing marker.
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For every end there is a new beginning
Another chapter has closed in the story that is my life. Naturally no ending is ever cut and dry. No beginning well defined. The postmortem for the past twelve years (24 years by some accounts) includes some dotting of Ts and crossing of eyes [sic]. Some dust either needs to be swept under the rug or cleaned from under the rug. Some final goodbyes need to be spoken. As the ink dries on the final words of the final page of this past chapter, words are already forming in the new one. Like any story, the initial draft may require a course correction or a rewrite. The outline for this next chapter, this next adventure, has the title penciled in as "Thus the massive decluttering and reorganization began!"
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MasterCard was never an option
One naive mistake – $35,000
Years recovering – 12
Not owing the IRS a dime – priceless! -
Bad foreplay
One should not stare at his naked wife, pause, and casually suggest, "we should start riding bikes as a family."
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Stupid Human Tricks
When the cat starts howling in warning that it is going to wretch then starts doing the whole gag while turning its body into a slinky thing on your couch, wrestling with it will not stop the hair ball from coming and once you dig the claws out of the couch holding the cat at shoulder height will only result in an Andy Warholish splatter paint of horribleness on the living room floor…saved the couch though.
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Lunch and forgiveness
Dear Lard which art in my belly, Harden be my arteries.
Thy heart attack come,
Thy fat be in views, as it is in muscle.
Give me this day my daily quarter pounder.
And forgive me this meal, as we forgive others.
The Golden Arches of temptation,
Deliver us early: into thine grave,
and the salt, oh the salt, high blood pressure.
Ack!"So, how’d you end up in Hell?"
"Clogged arteries." -
My guess
I hesitate to make this post but I have to say it. Yesterday was tax day…in Boston. I bet the bomber was some lunatic from the Tea Party. The Tea Party connection will be denied but this will turn out to be some fearful American who has bought into the ramblings of Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones and the like. You want your country safe? It’s time to end the fear mongering, lose the hate, give some hugs, and start acting like Americans again. Make America rationale again.
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An epiphany
Ah! I figured it out. Thirty years or so ago some bastard put a "kick me" sign on my back and I forgot to take it off!
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Bad things are happening in Boston…and good things are too
Patton Oswalt says this far more eloquently than I could but echos my sentiment. Yes, horror is happening in Boston right now. However, great things are happening there too and elsewhere. Somewhere a baby is being born. A life is being saved. Someone is sharing a smile with someone else who needed it.
Status Update
By Patton Oswalt
Boston. Fucking horrible.I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I’ve had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."
H/t Danny.
As a reminder, news is bad for you – and giving up reading it will make you happier.
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Dear Dad
Thank you for allowing me to live. Looking back, it is unclear to me how I am alive and you are not in jail. Love, Son.
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What a great day!
This is my 2nd day back from vacation. I really wanted another 2 to 3 weeks of vacation. That aside, this day has been wonderfully productive! Good things are happening. The future is bright!
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Vacation was great
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Today’s accomplishment — iPod brought back to life!
For Christmas, Amy and Evan received iPods. About three weeks ago, Evan’s iPod was in his coat pocket when the coat went through the washing machine. Fortunately it was discovered before going through the dryer. I immediately pried the case open (it is held together with a glue strip) and removed the screws holding the mother board in to lift it for slightly for drying. I grabbed a Tupperware container and put the open device in it, covered with a papertowel, then poured two pounds of rice into the container. Next I went to Amazon to order five new adhesive strip stickers
. Today I applied the adhesive strips, replaced all the screws, and snapped the screen back onto the iPod and it started right up! Knock on wood, it appears to be performing as new!