Wife, texting: "What’s your plan?"
Me, texting back: "Homegirls!"
Wife, texting: "Wear a condom."
Thank you Apple. Your autocorrect on "Homebound" has either gotten me in serious trouble or given me a hall pass.
Category: Daily Life
Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.
-
From the mouths of babes
-
Full Moon Tonight
My spine tingles. My face is flush. My energy is high. I can tell that tonight the moon shall be full. Something tells me that somewhere in my ancestry someone had a thing with a werewolf.
-
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I placed the ladder from the 2nd floor to a ledge above the downstairs landing effectively giving the staircase a ceiling with a narrow opening for travel from downstairs to upstairs.
What I said, "Watch out for your head!"
What I heard: *bonk!*That’ll be one more trip to Godiva today.
-
Return to the Fellinis
After spending 5 days between Washington, DC and New York City, waking up in Knoxville feels a lot like falling asleep at a big circus and waking up in a sideshow carnival.
Yes, we the freaks; we are the oddities.
-
The Next Weekend Project – Bathroom
When I bought my house, my father said, "Congratulations, you now have something to do every weekend for the rest of your life." And so it began. Although the clubhouse still requires a roof, floor, windows and a door, timing has prompted us to begin the upstairs bathroom remodel. More than a decade ago, I started the downstairs bathroom remodel and it remains in limbo. If this goes poorly, my family will be living in a hotel.
-
Knoxville’s First Racetrack Still Exists
Knoxville is so full of interesting secrets and amazing history. Today I had the pleasure of driving on Knoxville’s first racetrack. The story was explained to me that after the civil war, an ex-slave [Cal Johnson] was awarded the gruesome contract to collect and bury the dead Union soldiers. That ex-slave became a millionaire and with his fortune created the first thoroughbred racetrack in Knoxville, TN. The field in the center of the racetrack is also known as being the location of the first airplane landing in Knoxville. This racetrack exists today and later this week, I will upload a video of a drive around the track.
Knoxville’s First Racetrack Still Exists On an unrelated note, I learned that the animosity between South Knoxville and Downtown Knoxville is rooted in history even if today’s Knoxvillians do not know why they detest each other. Apparently when the Great Depression hit, many Appalachians left their mountain homes seeking prosperity elsewhere. Naturally, many found the "big city" of Knoxville. Blue blood Knoxvillians did not appreciate the influx of foreigners to their fair city and took a dislike to the Appalachians. While the blue blood Knoxvillians primarily resided to the north of the river, the Appalachians took residence to the south of the river known today as South Knoxville. The Appalachian influence in South Knoxville is the reason for South Knoxville’s uniqueness and eccentricities.
n.b. None of this has been fact checked and was conveyed as an oral history.
tl;dr: Knoxville’s first horse race track still exists and was also the location of the first airplane to land in Knoxville.
-
18 hours of ice
So in the past 18 hours:
- My wife couldn’t get off our street due to ice
- Our friend managed to get onto our cove returning our son 11pmish but couldn’t get out
- My neighbor had to use 4 wheel drive to escape the ice
- The postman slid into a neighbor’s yard
- My father-in-law had difficulty leaving the street
- My 17 year old daughter slid her car into our retaining wall and had to climb out the passenger side
- My 17 year old daughter took our van to pick the 5 year old up from school
Waiting with bated breath to hear that the 5 year old makes it home safely and that the van survives.
Oh, and btw, secondary roads in Knoxville are still precarious. This is why schools get canceled.
-
Groceries and the Snopocalypse
I get a giggle out of Knoxville’s typical overreaction to bad weather. We use a gallon of milk every day or two so I’m often buying milk regardless of weather. When the forecast is doom and gloom the milk and bread shelves are barren. Coincidentally, our pantry ran empty in sync with a predicted 2-5 inches of snow so Cathy and I joined in the madness at the grocery. After spending $150 on essentials and a few day’s meals, we arrived home to hungry children only to realize we hadn’t purchased anything for a quick meal for that night!
So, after getting the droopy, "we’re hungry" eyes from the children last night, I got the same thing from the dogs this morning. Apparently in our effort to feed the humans, we failed to notice the dogs were scrapping bottom in their food supply too. So, now to brave the snow covered roads before tonight’s ice storm comes to get to the pet store for dog chow and a rat (hungry snake too).
Tl;dr: On Sunday, we bought meals for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and neglected to bring home dinner for that night and failed to buy dog food.
-
I am the gas fairy, goo goo g’joob
When I notice the van running low on petrol (gasoline), I attempt to secretly refill the tank so that Cathy is frequently surprised with a full tank of gas. Yesterday she found herself stranded at the mall because the van refused to start. She claims she was out in the cold for an hour and a half. I arrived and after some futzing with the van the engine roared albeit roughly and with a warning light. Eventually we found our way to Autozone whose computer reported that the MAF/MAP sensor was overloaded. Great, sensor replacement time. Wait a minute! Hadn’t seen this before? Oh… yes. I walked out the door to the van, removed the gas cap, and replaced the gas cap, the warning light faded away, and the engine ran smooth. See, in modern vehicles, the fuel system is often pressurized so if the gas cap is not sealed well, like it’s crooked, then the engine has problems getting fuel.
n.b. The gas fairy does indeed sound like a walrus.
Tl;dr The van wouldn’t start leaving Cathy was stuck in the cold for an hour and a half because I put the gas cap on crooked.
-
And I took a week off
I took the week from Christmas to New Year’s off. It was great for my personal well-being; it was terrible choice for my professional well-being.
-
What music do you like?
My favorite band right now is Flogging Molly because, well, Molly just sounds fun.
-
From the mouths of babes – my Cats in the Cradle moment
Evan, 5 years old: "Dad, you don’t play much. You work a lot."
