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Waking in a box, underwater

Imagine being trapped in a coffin like box having just been plunged into the depths of a lake. Water rushes in as you pound the sides trying to break free. That is what a panic attack feels like and most mornings, that is how I wake up. As I leave the dream world in which I have spent the night fighting my demons, my conscious mind begins to run through the list of things left unaccomplished from yesterday, the list of action items for the day, long term goals, commitments I must keep under any circumstances, health of the children, time flying by, unfulfilled dreams, my aging body losing its health, the needs of my wife, bills that are due or coming due, money, money, money, desires, paperwork and legalities, and it goes on. By the time I fully awoke, my heart is racing and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. The dog rests her chin over my ankles consoling me and restraining me to the bed. Using her as an excuse, who wants to disturb the dog?, I pull the covers over my head and try to calm myself. Instead my mind again reviews its frightening list and adds a few things. When I finally rise, my muscles ache and my mind is exhausted.

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Aardvark is compatible with Firefox 3!

Aardvark is a Firefox extension that I frequently use before resorting to MODIv2. Both of these tools outline elements in the browser and reveal the underlying CSS. When CSS is being mystical and you have keyboard shaped dents in your forehead, these tools can pull the man out from behind the curtain and help bring on that a-ha! moment which solve the problem. Aardvark needs to be installed from the developer’s site as its review for addition in the Mozilla Firefox Add-ons is not complete. I highly recommend Aardvark!

Oh, the Web Developer Toolbar also has similar functionality under Information->Display Element Information. (cntl+shift+f) The Web Developer Toolbar is the absolute most essential Firefox add-on for us Internet junkies!

Update: Like MODIv2, Aardvark now comes as a bookmarklet! That means Aardvark can be used with Internet Explorer and Safari also.

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The Righteous Path

I’m listening to The Righteous Path by Drive-By Truckers right now. Hits close to home and turns me a bit introspective every time I hear it. I do a lot of thinking lately about how I have lived my life, whether or not I am repeating habits of old or learning and growing? Am I truly living up to my own belief systems and have I set the bar too low (or too high)?

Years ago, I had some pretty far fetched dreams balanced by some pretty achievable goals. Seems I missed all of them. I lost the dreams and missed the goals. Now a days, my dreams and goals are pretty much "put food on the table" and "make sure the car has gas." Yes there are greater aspirations inside me but I feel an oppression that keeps them from surfacing.

As we make choices in our lives, we will be judged. If you look righteous up in the dictionary, one of my better friend’s name comes up. He is just shy of qualifying as a priest. I think I’m a pretty straight up guy. I’m honest and have a high level of integrity. Compared to my friend, I’m a heathen. But it is wrong to compare ourselves to other’s systems of morals. We must define our own morals and be true to ourselves for no matter how you live, someone will judge you harshly. The challenge comes in not judging ourselves too harshly and simply asking, "Am I on the righteous path?"

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Today I am unplugged

Today I am not taking instant messages, phone calls, emails, etc. Naturally, my work is all online so I cannot unplug completely. Unfortunately, it means I will miss the co-working group again. Perhaps next week! (or if I really am ahead of schedule in the next 4 hours..maybe I can get there). See you tomorrow!

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Tweetup was a whale of a time!

Aubrey’s management eyeballed them suspiciously. Fifteen silence people taking broad steps toward the restaurant with heads hung low, each holding a device in one or two hands with their thumbs making rapid movements. One of these characters held a device in each hand. "Quick! Open the patio. These guys look like trouble." The group settled in around the table, and, wordlessly, began pecking on their phones and palm devices. Occasionally one would look up, point and laugh. These are the Knoxville Twitters!

What is Twitter? Probably the most common question asked of anyone who admits to their texting addiction. Followed by: I don’t get it. Twitter is a microblogging platform which you update from your phone and receive updates through your phone. You can also update Twitter with special programs, instant messengers, websites, and email. Basically, people choose to follow your updates and you choose to follow the updates of others. When you send a message, all your followers receive it. It is like shouting into a crowded room. Some people use if for vanity/voyeurism/exhibitionism, some use if for marketing/spam/self-promotion, some for utility, some for news and so forth. The possible uses for Twitter continue to be defined as it is truly a new frontier in the electronic wilderness.

Right now Twitter is known for having frequent outages. People are irritated but the simplicity of Twitter puts it ahead of its competitors. The fact that Twitter has a strong community puts it ahead of the other services too. Twitter is going through growing pains and it will overcome the scaling issues. Twitter is well worth the wait!

Today’s Tweetup (a meeting of people who otherwise may only known each other online by their Twitter nick names, like a blogfest) was a lunch at Aubrey’s off of Papermill. Fifteen people attended and we all had a blast. In attendance: @djuggler, @zane_hagy_z11, @knoxgirl75, @mwoodvols, @whodini, @suzytrotta, @cocoholder, @kmberlylauth, @bballentine, @utfcu, @bobmissy07, @ashleystravel, @alanstevens, @mjstone, and @stuboo. Topics ranged from "what’s up (or down) with Twitter?" to careers to funny antidotes. We managed to stay out of politics I think. It was a lot of fun! I look forward to the next.

Update: Every needs to follow @thecadillacman so that he gets the next announcement.