News – Reality Me

I ran into Walgreens hoping for the world’s quickest pickup of a product that I now know you have to buy at Target and was accosted at the door.

Sales guy, holding out Walgreens printed circular (the bait): "Would you like this week’s ads?"
Me, no I don’t because I came in for a single product but being a dumb human (the nibble): "Sure."
Sales guy (the hook): "Would you like a Walgreens gift card?"
Me, quickly noting the stack of News Sentinel papers (the denial): "No thank you. I don’t need a paper."
Sales guy (the switch): "Are you sure you don’t want a News Sentinel?"
Me (attempted escape): "I read it online."
Sales guy (the lie): "At only 38 cents a day, there’s value in the print edition you can’t get online."
Me (the truth): "Honestly, I’m never going to read a paper ever again." (and I won’t pay for it online either)