Month: June 2004

Well now, I feel about worthless! The bastards They cut my power off anyway even though I’d negotiated for 5pm today! Talk about embarassing! All the kids say “Hey! What happened?” “Uh, well… yer Dad’s a bum and the world is angry with him and you are feeling the brunt of it.” I’m surprised we don’t hear all the time in the news that these meter people are being shot. I asked, “why didn’t you tell me before you did that?” and he replies “we don’t do that anymore.” I only lost about a half days work in job searching…. Again, when things are going poorly the system works twice as hard to get in the way.

Here’s a cool sounding job.. Note, this is for working in Oak Ridge, TN (that’s the place where the nuclear bomb was made and where the DoD still produces its nasty weapons) “WNP Fallout Specialist I”

MBNA called.

Looks like I’m going to spend the day talking to collectors. That’s the interesting thing.. when they want the most from you they require more of your time be spent with them instead of spent earning the money that they want.

I hate seeing hourglasses on computers! Why won’t anything move at my speed?!

So Sears, perhaps the most obnoxious of collectors, calls while I’m upstairs and I say “hang on. I need to put you on hold a sec.” That was so I could take the call downstairs. I place the call on hold and head downstairs to find that they’ve hung up. I guess they’ll call in another hour.

I think it’s ridiculous to have collectors ask that you hold for an operator but they won’t hold for you to discuss collection issues outside of your kids earshot.

Noah’s best friend’s father passed away yesterday. Apparently the car accident had placed him in a coma and they were giving him 72 hours before making the decision to pull the plug and he decided to go on his own.

The newspaper and news stations never gave any mention of the accident. The only details are rumors. The father and his son were on the way to the grandparents to pick up the little sister. He was on a 5 lane road (2 northboard, 1 turn lane, 2 southbound) that most West Knoxvillians regularly drive for one reason or another. The speed limit on that road is 35 mph (56 km/h)[if I recall correctly] but frequently cars are in excess of 50 mph (80 km/h). The rumor is that some teens in an SUV were driving too fast in Friday’s torrential rains and hit him head-on on the driver’s side of the vehicle. One doctor said he had never seen such severe brain injury. The child was thrown from the back seat to the front seat to be saved by the airbag. Were it not for the airbag he would be dead too.

The child called yesterday and cried for Noah to come visit with him. He said “I don’t care about toys. I just want to talk to you.” Noah bravely and calmly went to visit. Pretty heroic actions on the part of 2 eight year olds. I had the pleasure of being with one of the neighbors and was able to watch from afar as the boys greeted each other in the street. The neighbor on her own accord commented on their bravery. Everyone recognizes that these children are being forced by circumstances to “act like men.”

The feelings here are somber. Each of the children is in deep throught. Tommy relinquished himself to his tent for awhile after given the news. Noah had tears, pulled himself together then made that difficult phone call. (I still ponder whether or not Noah fully understands the family structure. There is a piece of me that wonders if Noah thinks “dads” are replaceable.) Sarah always internalizes and rarely lets things out. Cathy is quite upset. I am scared that I won’t be able to pull things together for my family before it is too late.

I did not know David that well although I believe the two families, ours and theirs, were just starting to become closer. When the leaves drop in the autumn I can see their house from my dining room window. However, it has made me put serious thought into how severely insane it is to be having lived one fifth of my life (the past 7 years) without insurance. To have 4 children and a wife and not have life insurance and health insurance is ludicrous. Daily I have stress pains in my chest and sides and hold such tension in my chest that I often wonder if I’m not experiencing small heart attacks. The thought of leaving my family in such chaos, financial turmoil and completely without means terrifies me. The knowledge that if something happened to me my health care could conceivably be inadequate because of my financial status pisses me off. The rich always get better care. I was reading in the paper that some companies are now hiring without giving health benefits. The industry will have to change soon but I doubt it will happen without the US sinking into a health care dark ages.

TN Lottery Results and SI Designs appear to be down.

a) brew coffee DONE

b) finish XML example – failed to work DONE

c) contact contract agency with XML example DONE

d) write high level spec for “barter” client

e) contact at least one recruiter In process

f) contact TSAC collectors and stop autodraft DONE

g) send fax for overseas friend to help him with a US problem DONE

h) find marketing for risque but potential lucrative venture DONE

i) take Tommy to doctor’s appointment DONE

j) (while Tommy at docs) visit with Protemp DONE

k) (while Tommy at docs) drop in on old client

l) Pay KUB DONE

m) Contact friend Randy for social networking In process

n) Contact friend in DC for social networking

o) find marketing for local developers

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

I feel like I’m going to throw up. My nerves are shot!

By not sticking to my guns by going home after church I feel like I let myself down and let my family down. However, I would not have traded yesterday for anything. I really enjoyed my time with my family.

We will make it through this. I’m going to take today one step at a time.

So, 7:30 has rolled around and I have made no headway in my preparations for tomorrow which means that tomorrow will be spent making preparations for a productive Tuesday.

Mentally and physically exhausted. During church I decided I’d bail on the family and spend the afternoon on the computer. Instead I gave into lunch and swimming. Now the evening is here and all I want to do is lie in bed and watch television.

It was implied but never stated that yesterday was a wonderful day! Lots of productivity and during a stress break I made great headway on the yard moving a rik of wood, filling the void left by the removal of the 2nd 3rd of sidewalk, seeding the manure, cleaning the driveway, and packing the trailer full of old rusty fencing and nasty mosquitoe breeding guttering. Only received one poke! Hmm.. When was that last tetanus shot?

I even decided to move the peach tree. I will dig out a huge ball and use the Jeep to drag it. If I kill in the process it is no worse off than it is now. If I succeed in re-planting it and it lives then we will have an upright, fruit bearing peach tree near our future garden and grapevine! I may try to winch it to the trailer rather than drag it.

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

I have mixed feelings about today. I will make a choice and be happy with it. Everyone is supposed to go to church today. I feel like I should stay home while everyone else goes. Of course, everyone is going swimming afterwards and I really enjoy the swimming plus I feel better when I am helping to keep a watchful eye on the kids–the more pairs of eyes the better!

Goals should be:

a) finish xml example to secure contract

b) submit multiple resumes to ads in paper; broaden horizon to sales jobs and possibly call centers

c) write high level specification to help secure “barter” client as pay or partial pay

d) Review marketing piece to make sure it is ready and convincing so that I can rapidly send it out

e) search jobs online for contract work in Asheville, Atlanta, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Lexington, and Nashville

f) contact Randy

g) clean Kayak for sale

Goals will be:

a) Take Tommy to church DONE

b) Swim with family in pool DONE

c) cook dinner

d) settle kids in for dinner

e) try to finish xml example

f) send email to contract agency regarding xml abilities

g) write high level spec for “barter” client

h) send email to “barter” client

i) contact Randy for appointment

Tomorrow:

a) avoid mental breakdown

b) pay power company

c) Give plasma

d) Call TSAC and stop autodraft of student loan payment

e) visit “barter” client

f) visit IRS office

g) apply for job at Home Depot (of all the low paying jobs, I think this has the most appeal)

h) visit unemployment office

i) visit Randy

j) sell Kayak

k) make several sales calls

l) Take Tommy to play D&D with his friend

Ok. I spent $60 of our last $100 on food tonight. That leaves $40 to pay for gas and food while trying to find a job and wait for the first paycheck to come (usually 2 weeks right?). Let me tell you. This is a wild ride! I’ve begun looking at pawn shops differently.

I wonder how much plasma brings in now-a-days and how frequently I can give.

More realistically I wonder what incentive I can give people to pay me a deposit to get to working on their web sites, wireless lans, computer repairs, etc. immediately.

Nailing a couple of consulting gigs would go a long way right now.