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Today’s Joke

Compliments of Fireblades.org (see thread at: http://www.fireblades.org/forums/showpost.php?p=118317&postcount=171 )


Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A

small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the

birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the

sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you

tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, “It is

neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the

best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.”

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Don’t Jump Here! Do It Over There!


[09:26] * CFNews reports: People with suicidal tendencies in Botswana have been asked to throw themselves out of trees instead of in front of trains.


“I am appealing to the people not to use the trains to kill themselves. If people want to commit suicide they should use trees not our trains,” she said.

Now this is step forward in dealing with the rising cost of mental health care!

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Schuweee!

Now, why is it that when you are changing the messiest diaper you’ve seen in a long time that the wipes refuse to cooperate and keep falling back into the container. At least the baby was very cooperative! I laid her down on the couch and she arched her back keeping only her head, shoulders and heals touching the couch. She was confused when I didn’t return her pajamas to her. I must go find her clothes. I wish I could record her right now. She is talking talking talking talking. So fun and pleasant!

The first thing she asks for after being changed is “nana nana!”

When I squat in front of this computer to type, the baby stands on my legs and hops up and down watching me type.

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Honk Honk

The 13 yr old’s bus arrived today and despite me rushing to the front door and opening it wide, he still honked the horn! This irritates me enough that I go out and politely ask him not to do that because of the number of “sleeping babies” about. He’s a nice guy but the horn should really only be used if we aren’t responding at all.

The baby is awake.

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Wow. Once we’ve trained ourselves to be short and …

Wow. Once we’ve trained ourselves to be short and snappy with people it certainly is difficult to not jump straight into barking mode; however, it is possible to retrain ourselves. These old dogs can still learn a few new tricks! I still slip up and am either overly firm or snappy with the teenager on things that I should be lighter about but each time I am a little less firm and less snappy or the incidence of it is more brief. And I can always analyze myself during and afterwards. Look out David Caridean! This grasshopper is growing!

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In Loo Of My Son

Oh my son

Life is fun

When you are seven

And there is so much to do

Let’s pay attention

When a whizzing

And make sure

We aim true

With your little hose

So close to the bowl

Try to hit the water

and not your toes!

Should there be a miss

resulting in a puddled mess

Be embarrassed not

To clean up the lot!


(in all fairness, I think it was his friend)