Cathy: "I’m getting in the shower to shave my head."
Cathy: *glowers*
Cathy: "This is why you don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee."
Category: From the mouths of babes
Funny things kids (and sometimes adults) say. Somethings these make you say “Hmmm.”
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "Why are you laying on the floor?"
Tommy: "Because it annoys Dad."
At least he is honest.
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 9: "Why do we have a weeping angel [on our bookshelf]?"
Me, with intensity: "Don’t look away!"
Evan: *Looks at me* *pauses* *smacks hand to face* "Oh, I would have been sooo dead!"
From the mouths of jobs
Evan, bemoaning tomorrow being a school day.
Dad: "I’ll switch with you. You go to work for me and I’ll go to school for you."
Evan: "Ok. I’ll go and ask them to fire me. Then I’ll get a fun job like Chuck E Cheese or Sonic!"
From the mouths of babes
Evan singing “la la laaa la”
Me: how do you know that song?
Evan: “Wreck it Ralph” “Help! I need somebody. Help.”
Me: “is that from Wreck It Ralph too?”
Evan: “No, Dad. That’s the Beatles!”
From the mouths of babes
Evan, 9 years old: “I like being high!” “Everything looks different when you are high. It’s so beautiful.” “Being high is awesome!”
We were driving the rental truck home.
From the mouths of babes
Last night I asked my son if the dogs had enough food for this morning. This word "yes" I do not think it means what he thinks it means.
My submission for Dad of the Year
"Stop fighting, Goddammit!"
From the mouths of babes
Nice Vietnamese woman cutting my hair: "Yes, we have to cut more off as we get older to make the gray go away."
Cringeworthy moment
Cringeworthy moment: Hearing your small child say, "I like your youtube video where you blah blah blah and blah blah and my favorite, chutney!" Do you remember when only adults were on the Internet? My videos do!
From the mouths of babes
Words I actually hear slip from my lips: "We should get together and flapjaw sometime."
Things you don’t want to overhear as a parent
"Go. Go. GO! Is it falling out already?"
From the mouths of babes
Cathy: "I smell a skunk! Oh, it’s your coffee."
From the mouths of babes
College girl has come home for Thanksgiving.
Evan, 8 years old: "Mom! Sarah has different boobs. Sarah’s boobs are fluffy."
I’m really hoping I misheard that and he really said "boots."
From the mouths of babes
Me: "Amy, I’m going to kill you."
Amy, 11 years old, jumping off the glass top stove to the kitchen floor: "Sorry Daddy."
Me: "Do you see that step ladder beside the fridge?"
Amy: "Yes."
Me: "Use it! What is the stove top made of?"
Amy: "Glass."
Me: "I love you Amy!"
Amy: "I love you too Daddy."
Me: "I’ll put that on your tombstone."
