Category: Daily Life

Ramblings, often stream of conscious, journaling the events of my life.

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Stress is exhausting

I woke at 4am having tossed and turned in bed for a length of time trying to cope with the demons in my dreams. However, my body still carried the weight of Monday’s burdens and I could not stay conscious. At 8:15am, I felt much better.

I have written before that the stress reaction used to make sense. You are on the savanna, a lion pops out of the tall grass and begins chasing you, stress kicks in causing an adrenaline rush, and you bolt into the forest to escape becoming a picnic dinner. The stress is short lived. But ongoing stress (days, weeks, years) beats the dickens out of you! [Source, Reality Me, Oversleeping]

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I work therefore I’m a cad

I know a vast number of people who think that because I work from home that I don’t really work. It can’t be real can it? That’s just not…normal! It is not normal. It is harder than normal!

I love my children and a benefit of working from home is that I can take short breaks and play with them or experience their special moments. But the children do not understand what I do. I have not role modeled traditional 8 to 5 work for them and they are going to be shocked when they enter the real world.

I just sent Evan, the three year old, sulking upstairs and feel horrible for it. All he wanted to do was spend some time with Dad. He came down here happily and sat in the chair beside me. But I was unable to concentrate when he started removing things from my desk (like my pocket knives), playing in the ash from my incense burner, and using the highlighters for horns. So I snapped. It was wrong and I feel awful. Being a Dad and a provider is tough.

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From the mouths of babes

Evan, 3 years old: "Daddy, I wanna go bitchin’"
Dad, removing the pacifier from the child’s mouth: "What?"
Evan: "Daaa, I waaana go bitchin’"
Dad, sitting down to type From the mouths of babes.
Evan: "I WANNA go BIIIItchin’ Daa!"
Dad, continuing to type.
Evan: "Daddy. We need to go bitchin now."
Evan, soft, extra sweet voice: "Let me go bitchin."

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What causes writer’s block?

For me, writer’s block is caused by deadlines. I would like to take time for a lengthy post relating the weekend visit by the extended family, the birthday celebrations, the pains, the miracles, and so forth that transpired over the past few days. Unfortunately, I have work that must get done. My mentally and physically exhausted body failed to wake at the crack of dawn which is when I often let my creative writing out.

My writer’s block is not due to a lack of words but due to a lack of minutes in the day. My podcasting block is due to a need to purchase a hard drive (and preferably a digital recorder).

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Oversleeping

Oversleeping takes on whole definition when the person you are working with is 5 hours (or 14) ahead of you!

Stress seems to make it worse wearing the body down. I have written before that the stress reaction used to make sense. You are on the savanna, a lion pops out of the tall grass and begins chasing you, stress kicks in causing an adrenaline rush, and you bolt into the forest to escape becoming a picnic dinner. The stress is short lived. But ongoing stress (days, weeks, years) beats the dickens out of you! Then add to it that I have been staying up past midnight and waking up with or before the roosters and the body feels run over. I suppose those conditions beg for a collapse. Why couldn’t it have come in two days instead of this morning?!