I could see myself in this 30 second video.
Category: Humor
Intented to make you smile.
It’s good to laugh at yourself
Even when you know the world is going to watch this. And this is why news people should refer to police officers instead of cops. Oh! Do watch the whole thing!
We’ll look for you on Youtube there Janie!
Fenced-in Irony
A Southern California fence building company hired to build some of the fence (stupid! Waste o’ money!) between the US and Mexico has been caught employing…wait for it…illegal aliens!
Women Need to Understand Internet Porn
The Bathroom Door Rule explains that men look at porn. "If a man has an internet connection, he looks at internet porn. " In their article, "What every woman should know about internet porn," they explain why you might find certain references to bizarre websites on his computer.
This is a simple factof life but if you see something unsettling maybe you should talk to him about it before you make wild assumptions or accusations. Don’t just assume your loved one is a chubby chasing pedophile with an Asian fetish, talk to him. If you see something uncharacteristic of him, confront him on it… [Source]
An online friend of mine commented last night, "my wife was asking me why my porn was 8 months or more old. I told her it had just lost the thrill." He said she replied, "You’re just geting old." So, for my friend, I present a new thrill! The Horny Manatee and its story.
In a line Mr. O’Brien insists was ad-libbed, he mentioned that the voyeur … was watching www.hornymanatee.com. There was only one problem: as of the taping of that show, which concluded at 6:30 p.m., no such site existed. Which presented an immediate quandary for NBC: If a viewer were somehow to acquire the license to use that Internet domain name, then put something inappropriate on the site, the network could potentially be held liable for appearing to promote it.
In a pre-emptive strike inspired as much by the regulations of the Federal Communications Commission as by the laws of comedy, NBC bought the license to hornymanatee.com, for $159, after the taping of the Dec. 4 show but before it was broadcast.
[Source]
Peeing Under Pressure
I am trying to go! I can hear the dialog now, "I said aim that soldier!"
Holiday Music
Here are some titles over at Santastic. My disclaimer: I haven’t listened to any of these but I found the titles amusing.
- Rudolph the Paranoid Reindeer
- Stop I’ve Had Enough Christmas Music
- Let Me Clear My Throat At Christmas
- Rudolph Berry Molecular Pattern 5
- Horny Christmas (mature theme warning!)
Update: James gives these a thumbs down.
Cathy gets eBay – really well!
So, Cathy has this collection of Rodney Reindeers from Hallmark. They have been discontinued. We had 6 but now there are seven people in the family. I offer to help her find one more but she wants to take care of it. Several days pass and I hear nothing about it so I decide to take some initiative and check eBay. Rodney has about 85 auctions. I exuberantly relay the information to Cathy who responds with, "shutup!"
Apparently Cathy discovered Rodney on eBay on her own. And lost her first auction. In an effort to not lose again, she bid on 6 auctions! She won 3 of them. So, if the number of Rodneys are supposed to match the number of people in house, Cathy had better get to work because it appears we need to more than double the size of the household.
I Didn’t Get The Gay Marriage Ban Until Now
I voted against the constitutional amendment to declare marriage between a man and a woman. Now that I have read the Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal I understand so much better.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. [Source]
Update: Critz and my wife both agree that I was a might unclear in this post. I realize that posting only one of the 10 reasons doesn’t convey the author’s sarcasm as well. Here are a couple more (number two is my favorite):
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
…
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
…
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
…
StopGeek has updated their post to point to the original source which was 12 reasons:
I was emailed the source by a reader which you can find here. Its similar, but not the same version i got in my email. [Source, StopGeek]
Light Linkage
Cat pictorials for Jasper.
“Office Space” Thriller
Anyone in the tech world has Office Space
Today’s Irony
Nearly one million bank workers in India are on strike…wait it for it…because they don’t want their jobs outsourced!
The unions are against outsourcing of bank work and a government proposal to merge 27 state-run banks to compete in the global economy. [Source]
This tidbit brought to us by Knoxviews and Michael Silence.
Unfortunate Job Assignment
This looks real. {image source]
Apparently he is a local report in LA.
…thats marc brown he does the local news in HD here in LA. poor guy – he’s actually likeable… [Source]
Slow down there cowboy!
Remember that old joke "if you smoke after sex, you’re going too fast." Apparently, if you go way too fast, your penis will vaporize.
Have your burger your way!
Remember Kristyk is not blogging right now but this story was amusing enough to pull her away from home repair and back to the computer. The picture is hilarious! "Yeah mon. *giggle* I feel fuuunny. We just ate and I like got the munchies. Want a donut?" "You look gay." "No man. You look gay." "You look kinda cute in that uniform." Whoa! Took that one too far.
Now that’s a joke!
So if you hit Comedy Central’s job postings link you get a 404 ! That’s good comedy.
