Category: Philosophy

Think deep.

  • The Funniest Thing Said and You Missed It!

    Last night Jon Stewart brought it home. He nailed it for me last night. I laughed until I cried. It was so subtle. Did you catch it?

    Paul Rudd, "I have a feeling that in the entire history of Comedy Central I’m the first person that’s ever said ‘pump out a Rene Auberjonois‘"
    Jon Stewart, "There’s actually uh Carlos Mencia does it as a recurring bit."
    Paul Rudd, "I knew I’d heard it before!"

    So why’s it so funny? Read this exceptional article, Take the Funny and Run in full to really understand the joke. For those that don’t want to click over, here’s the brief:

    Rogan, who refers to Mencia as "Carlos Menstealia," claims it’s common knowledge among his fellow funny men that Mencia takes bits from other comics and performs them as his own. [Source]

    Anyone who has ever performed stand-up is familiar with the red light, the universal signal that warns dawdlers it’s time to wrap things up. In the ’80s, comics at the Hollywood Improv came up with a novel use for the light. When shining steadily, it had the conventional meaning. But if the bulb began sputtering, it was the comedic equivalent of an air-raid siren, warning performers to lock up their original material immediately unless they wanted to lose it to a master thief.

    Robin Williams, comedy’s most notorious joke rustler, was in the house.

    …the famed Comedy Store in Los Angeles has even instituted a Mencia early-detection signal similar to the Improv’s for Williams, though considerably less high-tech. "Every time he walks in, the guys in the cover booth just start yelling ‘Mencia’s here!’"

    [Source]

  • The culprit is the people, not the state

    Ray Bradbury wants it understood that when he wrote [Fahrenheit 451] he was far more concerned with the dulling effects of TV on people than he was on the silencing effect of a heavy-handed government. While television has in fact superseded reading for some, at least we can be grateful that firemen still put out fires instead of start them. [Source]

  • Ist what cha arrrr

    Has ye e’vr used some software widout payin’ fer it? Has ye e’vr extended a demo indefinitely perchance? Are ye on day 238 of that 30 day trial? Maybe that license agreement was fer one computer but ye installed it throughout the house. If’n so, ye should click this link. A bit of a warning. Albeit work safe, thar be sound ahead! Tis gonna be loud and the dastardly thang is a might addictive!

  • See?

    This post is merely for the comments.

  • Need More Foreplay!

    Target's aisle of protection

    What exactly does it mean when a store’s personal lubricant section is larger than the condom section? I’ll tell you want it means! Too many people are rushing things! If you smoke after sex, you went too fast! Granted, a lot of lubricant goes a little way when you’ve got the power tools out for some serious earth moving. And if you are brave enough to search Blingo for senior sex you will find that Google returns 2,080,000 links. Mom! Granddaddy’s bouncing on Granny again!

    So, are we being targeted by marketers? Certainly! Fill up the shelves and people that have never used lube before will suddenly start thinking they need it! Hun, I was gonna buy you one of those tickler things and they had this slick stuff for $16. Are more dried up crusty old people getting it on? Pfizer thinks so! Are people just getting kinkier? Darn tootin! Why else would prudish lawmakers in states like Alabama be trying to sway the tide with stupid laws that outlaw sex toys?

    Btw, does anyone else hear banjos? Oh, nevermind, just a pig squealing.

    Alright men! Repeat after me. If I am having sex on Friday, foreplay begins on the Wednesday before!

    N.B. For people looking for the infamous some ladies prefer their tampons warm comment, it’s here.

  • Have you ever really felt pain?

    My stomach hurts. My back and neck hurt. My mind aches. My soul bleeds. I look back hoping to see how far I have come, only to realize, my journey has just begun. I thought they paved the road ahead of me. Perhaps I left the path. This thicket is prickly and dense and makes me long for a second chance. The easy road is over there. No path goes that way. At the end, I wonder if I will look back to realize my journey has just begun, or realize, instead of seeking pain, I should have had fun.

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: Why doesn’t my wife listen to me?
    Master: Hahah BwahH! haHAAhhhaa ba Hheee gasp hahhaa HOoo Woohoo HAHAHAHA hheheheehe Bwahahhaha HEHEEEE hheeee HHEEEE hhhee eeeeeeeeeee hahahaha eeeww oh oh OH hahaha HAHAHHAHAHA! AH! oh hehehHEHEHHEHE bwaahhaha!

  • 10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

    Lifehack.org nailed it today!

    1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel.
    2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse.
    3. Ease up on the internal life commentary.
    4. Take no notice of your inner critic.
    5. Give up on feeling guilty.
    6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you.
    7. Stop keeping score.
    8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned.
    9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions.
    10. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one.

    [Source]

    Read the details to really appreciate each one. I know I am person guilty of 8 or 9 of them and just reading the article lifted some weight off my shoulders.

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: So many eggs!
    Master: So few baskets…

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: I slipped.
    Master: Get up.

  • My Moral Code – Yin and Yang

    What kind of person am I?

    Today a lengthy funeral procession led by 2 slow moving police cars drove north on Morrell Road while I drove south. I threw on my hazards, turned on my headlights and jumped to the right side of the road. One private vehicle followed my lead going instead to the turn lane in the middle while a Bellsouth utility truck pulled up behind me and turned on his headlights. A dozen other cars drove past looking at us like we were crazy while I pondered who died, how had they lived, and would my life be worthy of such a procession. I felt it was the right thing to do.

    When I park at a grocery store there are always carts nearby. More often than not, I grab one or two as I walk from the car to the store. I am going that direction anyway. I feel it is the right thing to do.

    Today as I sat in a turn lane waiting to cross two lanes of traffic to get to my side street, I watched numerous cars run over a board in the street. This was a 2×8 with metal lips installed on either end that is what people with pickup trucks use as one side of a ramp for loading a lawn mower or 4×4 into the back of their truck. Obviously one had fallen out of someone’s truck unnoticed. As each car hit it, the board jumped into the air and spun erratically. When the traffic broke, instead of turning, I press my hazard lights on leaving several cars stuck behind me. I then jumped out of the van, grabbed the board, and flung it to the side of the road where it would not be danger. I felt it was the right thing to do.

    On multiple occasions, I have stopped the car to get a dog out of the road. Each time I felt I saved a life and prevented an owner’s grief. I felt it was the right thing to do.

    I believe in karma. I believe what goes around comes around. I believe all things balance. Yin and yang. I sometimes lose focus on the big picture and fixate on a turmoil in my life which leads me to question my beliefs. And then I remember all the fortune that befallen me, the smiles and laughs I share with friends and strangers, the help from out of the blue I clumsily try to refuse, and the reminder that I could have been wearing my good shoes when I stepped in the dog poo, and then it all comes together and I am assured that in the end there is harmony. It is the right thing to do.

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: I had bizarre dreams last night!
    Master: Was I in them?

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: I don’t believe there is a single person that appreciates the effort my job requires.
    Master: Do you understand?

  • Thank you Youtube!

    This video is innocent. It’s your mind that’s not.