Posted on 2 Comments

Being Tested

I have a guardian angel. His name is Murph. I named him after Murphy of the Law. Murphy likes to teach me things like Humilty. At 18, while driving my restored Triumph Spitfire 1500 around Memphis I passed another Spitfire that still had work to be done and I commented to myself, "one day yours will look this good." Moments later I wrecked my car. That was Murphy! He frequently tests me at the most inopportune moments. Like last night.

I have a client that I love. They don’t necessarily pay well but I find them very pleasant. I’ll be surprised if they ever work with me again. I’ve dragged what should have been a blink of the eye project on for too long.

Last night I settled in to complete their current project only to find that the washing machine discharge had popped out of the pipe and emptied an entire load into the basement. Murph in action. He helped get some things thrown out that were just taking up space in the basement being ignored. Why did he choose last night? Because I was ready to pop. My stress levels were maxed. I was spending more time fretting than doing. So Murph threw on that last straw to show that things could be worse.

To make his point, he added a punctuation mark this morning. I tried waking at 1:30am and finally rose at 4am. I was cheerful, already solved my programming problem in my head and just needed to type it out, and walked assuredly toward my desk only to simultaneously hear "squish" and feel that icky sensation as the heal of my dress shoes settled into dog poop. His message was clear. Let’s keep things in perspective and not lose our cool over the stuff life puts in our path.

Posted on 9 Comments

WWASD

My favorite television show is Lost. My 2nd favorite is Boston Legal. One of my favorite characters on Boston Legal is Alan Shore portrayed by James Spader (starred in Stargate the movie).

So I have this new anger management plan. Whenever a situation arises with the children, or a phone call (call), or anything else, particularly if I feel myself starting to boil, I pause and ask myself, "What would Alan Shore do?" I did this for several weeks with much success before confiding my plan with my wife. Now she is aware and periodically calls out, "you’re doing it now!" with a grin. I tilt my chin up slightly, give a Mona Lisaesque smile, and reply, "of course I am."

This morning I forgot to ask, "What would Alan Shore do?" It really does make a difference! So, next time the tension hits, just ask, "What would Alan Shore do?"

See also http://boston-legal.org and http://jamesspader.org/.

Posted on Leave a comment

My existence

I made the mistake
I lived for me.
What folly!
I lived for thee.

I breathe in
The air you exhale.
I am indebted to you
For the honor.

I live a life
Planned.
Altered.
Unstable.

I cannot let go
Things are right.
Twisted around
Mind fight.

I die
Still alive.
No afterlife
Spirit is gone.

I lived.
Never free.
Trapped.
Slave, of me.

Posted on 4 Comments

The Fog

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see

I try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever present hate
But I know that it’s too late

The game of life is hard to play
I’m going to lose it anyway
The losing card I’ll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I’m beat
And to another give a seat
For that’s the only painless feat

The sword of time will pierce our skin
It doesn’t hurt when it begins
But as it works it’s way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin

A blind man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied, “Oh why ask me?”