I think I’ve used that title before! Some days, I just wish dinner would magically appear without the same script: What’s for dinner? I don’t know. What do you want? Well if you guys are eatting that, I’m having Ramen. Mac and cheese. Steak, Taquitoes, McDonalds. I only eat meat. Vegetables? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Chick Fillet! Yuueck. Can I eat my room? Candy!
Blog
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Wow! A little bit of costume!
So last night I’m taking Minnie Mouse’s picture with a nice person giving out candy and suddenly I have the urge to take a picture for Cathy and BusyMom. Supergirl and the Slut Friends came running up as I was taking Minnie Mouse’s picture. The buxom superhero was having trouble slowing down because her secret weapon, bulbus breasts, obviously kept her off balance. Her identity is kept secret by the glaring cleavage protruding from her plasticized costume; not a mortal man can possibly make eye contact with her!
Suddenly a battle of good versus evil rages within me. My finger is on the shutter button of the camera. It is ready to fire. I merely need to raise the lense a few inches and push the button. Supergirl and the Slut Friends are moving like coke fiends at an 80s party hosted by a Columbian drug lord. They move almost in a blur in their mission to pillage as much chocolate and sugar as possible to fuel their teen metabolisms. The decent people of this nice, upper-middle class neighborhood laugh and talk with their friends in lawn chairs on their porches surrounded by professionally landscaped yards. How will they judge me if I take the picture! I visualize the light merriment of the neighborhood changing to anger as clouds billow over, the houses take sharp angled Tim Burtonesque shapes as thunder roars and beers are dropped for pitchforks and torches, and the adults chant "pervert! pedophile!" I might get away with taking the picture; afterall, I am showing my horns.
Supergirl is first to reach the candy bucket at the porch. As she leans forward to grab some treats right in front of me I am sudden aware that it is colder outside than I originally assessed. Happy doesn’t appropriately describe the jolly superteen. "Perky" would be far more apropos. Snap the picture! As a parent, I am thinking a plasticized, hard shell of a costume probably was not her best choice. Perhaps something more form fitting. And a bra. Or two.
In the end I could not bring myself to take the picture. I would not want to give the FBI anything that could be construed as child porn. Of course, as we approach the next house, one woman and five or six beer guzzling men are guffawing and talking about Supergirl’s boobs.
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From the mouths of babes
Mom: "Sarah wants to go to school on a 10°C day in short sleeves and no jacket."
Dad: "If you are going to be dumb, you have to be tough." -
Saddam Hussein Has The Keys To Detroit!
So he had the gas and the cars!
Saddam Hussein donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to a Detroit church and received a key to the city more than two decades ago, soon after he became president of Iraq.
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“He was very kind person, very generous, very cooperative with the West. Lately, what’s happened, I don’t know,” [Rev. Jacob Yasso of Chaldean Sacred Heart ], 70, said Wednesday.
[Source]In all fairness, Time Magazine named Adolf Hilter 1938’s Man of the Year. See also. Wikipedia shows all Persons of the Year with George W Bush taking 2000 and 2004.
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And I laughed until I cried…
Now this is good blog! And if you read the comments, you’ll learn that the star of the story is someone’s dad.
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links for 2006-10-31
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This is why you tie around the belay loop AND the harness.
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What is stress?
Stress is when the pressure builds up so much that you cannot stop shaking, it is hard to focus because your field of vision is reduced, you cannot concentrate enough to read a single sentence and comprehend it, short term memory vanishes, and ambivalence takes hold. Then the dominoes fall.
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Of Grasshoppers
Student: Nothing is going right today.
Master: Pick one thing that cannot possibly go wrong and do it next. Repeat. -
Got my Round Tuit
I finally took the steps necessary to get an eye sore off the driveway. I am experiencing a little self-doubt as I wonder if I did all I could or all I should have. Movin on!
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Beep beep..around the earth it goes..
This satellite tracking program gives the impression that we have so much junk floating around the earth that it is amazing we can launch a shuttle or rocket without knocking something down.
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A blogger’s mother has passed
Alice of 10,000 Monkies and a Camera lost her mother in a car accident yesterday. Give her some good words.
I find it interesting how blogging creates connections between arbitary people. Without blogging, these arbitary people conceivably would never know of one another yet through the Internet we learn their faces, their secrets, their worries, their joys and we feel connected. So when a blogger suffers a loss of life or a hardship, other bloggers feel it too. Our world is smaller than ever and that is good.
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Trash is public domain
If you are a celebrity, make sure you shred your nude photographs (work safe) before throwing them in the trash and hiring someone to remove your trash for you.
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Picture of United States Population Density
Time Magazine has put together a picture showing US population density. 80% of the US live in metropolitian areas. Notice the great emptiness in Nevada. Can you say, "nuclear test site?" I knew you could.
In other charts, we have the cancer survival rates. Basically lists a bunch of cancers and shows the percentage of people that have survived 5, 10, 15 and 20 years with the diagnosis.
Now if we could create a chart that shows population density, cancer survival rates by region, and incidents of cancer by region, I think I could decide where to move.