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Mentally and physically exhausted. During church I decided I’d bail on the family and spend the afternoon on the computer. Instead I gave into lunch and swimming. Now the evening is here and all I want to do is lie in bed and watch television.

It was implied but never stated that yesterday was a wonderful day! Lots of productivity and during a stress break I made great headway on the yard moving a rik of wood, filling the void left by the removal of the 2nd 3rd of sidewalk, seeding the manure, cleaning the driveway, and packing the trailer full of old rusty fencing and nasty mosquitoe breeding guttering. Only received one poke! Hmm.. When was that last tetanus shot?

I even decided to move the peach tree. I will dig out a huge ball and use the Jeep to drag it. If I kill in the process it is no worse off than it is now. If I succeed in re-planting it and it lives then we will have an upright, fruit bearing peach tree near our future garden and grapevine! I may try to winch it to the trailer rather than drag it.

A New Day!

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This Morning

I have mixed feelings about today. I will make a choice and be happy with it. Everyone is supposed to go to church today. I feel like I should stay home while everyone else goes. Of course, everyone is going swimming afterwards and I really enjoy the swimming plus I feel better when I am helping to keep a watchful eye on the kids–the more pairs of eyes the better!

Goals should be:

a) finish xml example to secure contract

b) submit multiple resumes to ads in paper; broaden horizon to sales jobs and possibly call centers

c) write high level specification to help secure “barter” client as pay or partial pay

d) Review marketing piece to make sure it is ready and convincing so that I can rapidly send it out

e) search jobs online for contract work in Asheville, Atlanta, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Lexington, and Nashville

f) contact Randy

g) clean Kayak for sale

Goals will be:

a) Take Tommy to church DONE

b) Swim with family in pool DONE

c) cook dinner

d) settle kids in for dinner

e) try to finish xml example

f) send email to contract agency regarding xml abilities

g) write high level spec for “barter” client

h) send email to “barter” client

i) contact Randy for appointment

Tomorrow:

a) avoid mental breakdown

b) pay power company

c) Give plasma

d) Call TSAC and stop autodraft of student loan payment

e) visit “barter” client

f) visit IRS office

g) apply for job at Home Depot (of all the low paying jobs, I think this has the most appeal)

h) visit unemployment office

i) visit Randy

j) sell Kayak

k) make several sales calls

l) Take Tommy to play D&D with his friend

Ok. I spent $60 of our last $100 on food tonight. That leaves $40 to pay for gas and food while trying to find a job and wait for the first paycheck to come (usually 2 weeks right?). Let me tell you. This is a wild ride! I’ve begun looking at pawn shops differently.

I wonder how much plasma brings in now-a-days and how frequently I can give.

More realistically I wonder what incentive I can give people to pay me a deposit to get to working on their web sites, wireless lans, computer repairs, etc. immediately.

Nailing a couple of consulting gigs would go a long way right now.

If you have the tools and the knowledge on how to get your Jeep unstuck from a large hole in your yard, you might be a redneck.

If you have the capability of getting your Jeep stuck in your yard, you might be a redneck.

If you actually get your Jeep stuck in your yard, you might be a redneck!

Undaunted by adversity I am highly motivated toward productivity today.

Blue Oyster Cult is certainly helping. Screaming, unhappy children are not. I feel like I should be upstairs helping reduce the wife’s stress.

a) Contact friend, Randy, for social networking

b) clean up Kayak for sale (no final ride)

c) get rest of manure out of trailer DONE

d) load trailer in preparation for a trip to the dump DONE

e) convert http://www.tnlotteryresults.com to XML using an XML data island so it can be used as a recent example to secure a contract In Progress

f) update dice.com

g) more pricing effort on “barter” client – ie. high level spec

h) email friend confirming availability to deal craps at 2 mock casinos DONE

h) help an overseas friend deal with a US problem DONE

i) move one rick of wood from one part of the yard to another part of the yard DONE

j) Cook dinner. DONE

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

Sleep deep but woke achy. Decided to floss teeth couldn’t find floss. Did stretch though. Let Tommy get on my nerves and I became snappy. Looked at Amy’s unhappy wrinkled face and was reminded that is not a path I want to walk. Decided it best to leave the room for a few and come back with a different attitude.

As everything else comes to a head, the IRS decides to start breathing down my neck. Let’s suffice it to say that last fall my attorney wanted me to give him $1000 retainer to begin straightening this out (I am certain the final bill will be 5 times that) but didn’t want me to do anything until I could bring him all my paperwork in order. Hmm.. Seen my house? The paperwork is anything BUT in order.

So this is how we come to make those difficult choices in life.. Does one choose to live under the bridge or jump off of it?

So I get this email:

Tim of Spy Journal has written some exceptional poetry. I used to enjoy dabbling in some writing and presenting it at coffee house poetry readings until one day I read something that the guy I looked up to as a respected poety responded with “What the f*(& was that?!” He didn’t mean it in a bad way but it made me a little bashful about presenting poetry anymore. However, there is one small piece that I wrote around 1992 that thought needed to be read (the recording didn’t come out as well as I expected. Now that audioblogger.com has arrived I can put up some poetry. Special thanks to Tim for the inspiration!

Addiction

I am addicted!

Oh I can’t get enough

7 times a week

24 times a day

60 times an hour

60 times a minute

Oh I can’t get enough

Hey you! Can I have some of yours?

Just a bit

Please!

All I need is a little more

Time.

Had a huge blowout with the wife. We went to pick up Sarah from her week away at camp. Everyone is happy and Cathy does something innocent and for some reason I found it intolerable and got upset. Cathy unhappy with me driving angry made a comment and I blew up worse and ended up parking the car and started to walk home in the rain. Made a complete ass of myself in front of Cathy and 3 of the kids. I feel horrible. How could I have been that way? There was no good in it and my chest still feels absolutely hollow inside. I question whether or not my heart beats. Of course to add insult to injury was the power cut off notice when we got home.

According to the nice pink note that appeared on my door sometime between 1:30 and 3 my electricity is scheduled to disappear at 5pm if $300 doesn’t magically fly out of my hindquarters. No matter how badly you hate your job, be thankful you have one.

While trying to make arrangements to keep power the person on the other end of the phone says “Is there anything else I can do to help?” and my reply was “Yes, don’t vote for Bush!”