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Top 10 Things Said By Doug While Hooking Up His New Monitor

10. Now my computer runs faster.

9. So that’s what happened to the other cat.

8. Maybe I should open this mail from 1988.

7. The silver doesn’t match my keyboard and case. Perhaps I should buy a new computer.

6. Only 1 comes in a box?!

5. What’s this button do?

4. Look at all the purdy colors.

3. Ow my eyes! My eyes!

2. And all this time I thought I was in DOS.

1. Oh! So it IS porn!

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A New Day! Let’s start the day off with a PayPa…

A New Day!

Let’s start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning

My morning…

After that I took Noah, Sarah and her friend to their respective bus stops. Ever since we had the child predator hitting on teenage girls several miles down the road I’ve stayed at the bus stop with the girls. It is a nice time for me. Although the girls ignore my presence and pass notes instead of talking I am happy to be with them. I listen to NPR and sometimes read for the 20 minutes it takes for their bus to arrive.

I return home to play the parrot game with Amy. That is, I decided to give her Welch’s Grape Juice (origins as ‘non fermented wine’ for churches) and I said, “say ‘nectar of the gods’!” and that sweet two year and half year old voice squeaks out “neck ter o gods” with excitement. So I say, “Say ambrosia” and she parrots “am bro ssssh uh”. Very cute!

Time to work.

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Typical Evening

Had a client need an emergency housecall so I skip dinner. I get home at 11:30pm and prepare my meal only to find the 8 year old, who is sleeping on his new mattress for the first time with no sheets, having a nose bleed and trying to care for it himself by using every one of the decorative towels that were just cleaned and stacked in the bathroom to be put away. While cleaning up the nose bleed and blood stains the puppy starts gagging and pukes.

15 years ago I would have laughed myself to tears had someone told me my life would revolve around defecation, urination, puke and other bodily fluids.