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Future headlines we might see in Denver’s paper.

Funny things that we might see in Denver‘s future headlines:

  • "We had a great school system and then the parents started forgetting to bring their kids to school."
  • "Violent crime waaay down man"
  • "Horticulturally related enterprises up"
  • "Homeland Security Investigates Sudden Rise of Fertilizer Sales in Colorado"
  • "Denver population increases from 554636 to ‘most of the US’ overnight"
  • "Denver tax revenues increase exponentially for some unknown reason"
  • "Denver tires of the Mile ‘High’ City joke"
  • "In today’s irony: Denver paper shortage prompts legalization of large hemp crops"
  • "Jay Leno fails to deliver coherent monologue because he was laughing so hysterically"
  • "Willie Nelson and Jimmy Buffett jointly open The 420 Karoke Bar and tell Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Willis ‘[they] can have the planet. We’ve got Denver!’"

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