I hate anyone being sad. I spent half my life tettering between extreme happiness and extreme sadness. Too much effort goes into sadness. Sadness causes lost productivity, missed opportunities, more sadness, loss and other negatives; but always negatives. Even attention received because of sadness is negative attention.
I asked Sarah, “Are you sad?” and she simply frowned and shrugged her shoulders. I asked “why are you sad?” Another shoulder shrug but definitely a frown to make the point. I asked Sarah if she had friends and she said yes. I asked she something was wrong at home (I’d guess “too much screaming” “the baby is in my space” “you are unfair to me”) and even asked if there is too much screaming around here. I said we cannot guess what’s in her head that if she needs something, she has to ask. I said I reserve the right to say “no” but I want her to be happy and I want her to have what she needs. Without lecturing, at least I hope it didn’t come across as lecturing, I encouraged Sarah to talk to myself, her mother, her grandparents, her school counsellor or her therapist.
Sarah does have a therapist in the same office as Tommy’s therapist. We had multiple reasons for getting her some therapy. The main reason in her mind is to have a private outlet to discuss her hatred of Tommy’s. My main reason is because she clams up and keeps so much bottled up inside her; that’s the kind of thing I did growing up and I know the devasting impacts. I also think she has something unsettled in her mind about this guy that periodically calls on the phone and makes her call him daddy.