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Ready Aim…

My posts usually don’t come anywhere close to the quality of Very Mom’s Garlic Shooting Vagina (certainly a novel approach to fending off vampires and husbands). I feel the need to slip into bathroom discussion.

For those of you that may not know this, boys pee standing up but they don’t have to. Girls pee sitting down but they don’t have to. (Device Free method)

Today I chose to stand. Now, speaking of pee I’ve been trying hard these past few days to convince the dog to use the grass instead of the hardwoods. Finally out of her cage she was feeling playful and carrying her tennis ball around to solicit a game of fetch.

I should mention one of the benefits of peeing while standing and public restrooms is the flies, cockroaches and other various moving targets that make it into the urinals. As a matter of fact, as a child my family would frequent a particular grocery store that had toys in the urinals which as liquid was applied would spin and land on horoscope type quotes or points.

Today my target rapidly became a tennis ball. First reaction wanted to be anger but came out as laughter. Second reaction was to question if I could flush that. Third was “do I wash it off?” And final reaction, after finishing my target practice, was to reach in, throw it away and wash thoroughly.

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