Can you cope?

Cathy posted regarding her cycle of stress by which she feeds her headaches. Dr Michael Benjamin (or a robot representing Dr Benjamin or possibly a consulting group in India) commented on Cathy’s post (which is slightly ironic because one of Cathy’s degrees are in Psychology). Kris and Cathy both visited the good doctor’s myRay site and liked it. Naturally, I had to take a moment to see how crazy I am. The results? I short I’m a disappointed, angry, critical control freak that feels excessive guilt, burdens myself with responsibility that isn’t mine, craves more intimacy, and desperately needs a steak. A brief clipping:

• You have a tendency to think and analyze. This is very important to you.
• You do not seem to be able to “think your way out” of stress.

This causes you to think more with increasingly fewer results for your thoughts.

• You can easily get into a vicious circle and feel perplexed.

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And the best sentence in the evaluation (which regular readers of Reality Me will appreciate): It is easier to be more open when writing, than in face-to-face relationships..

The detailed results:

Your general level of functioning

* Your basic stress level is low. This is encouraging.
* You give the appearance of functioning.
* This can often change very easily and will depend on the situation and your style of coping.
* Your coping style is efficient, however this positive result can change rapidly.
* We will examine your coping styles.

Your General Coping Styles
My diagnosis and its implications:

* You scored high here.
* The way you feel:
o You are permanently short of time.
o You are often feel tense.
o You are often hungry and feel uncomfortable.

My recommendation:

* I recommend that you fully understand and acquire:
o Time Management Skills.
o Improved eating habits.
o Improved exercise habits.
o Relaxation techniques.

The benefits that this will bring you:

* You acquire a life style that will diminish stress immediately.
* The skills are easily gained and, unfortunately, easily lost.

The time involved if you choose myRay:

* immediate effect: 24 Hours.
* Marked effect: One week.
* Optimal effect: One Month.

Your Specific Coping Styles
The way you think when under stress
My diagnosis and its implications:

* You scored high here:
o You have a tendency to think and analyze. This is very important to you.
o You do not seem to be able to “think your way out” of stress.
o This causes you to think more with increasingly fewer results for your thoughts.
o You can easily get into a vicious circle and feel perplexed.

My recommendation:

* I strongly recommend that you participate in CBT or CCBT.
* I recommend that you record the Conditioned Thoughts that occurred with each Critical Incident.
* To repeat enough Critical Incidents to be able to observe trends in your thinking.

The benefits that this will bring you:

* Change the way you appreciate the Critical Incidents.
* Significantly reduce stress.
* Be able to identify recurring troublesome trends and patterns of thought.
* You will automatically correct the trends and internalize the corrections.
* Change your style of thinking.

The time involved if you choose myRay:

* immediate effect: 24 Hours (For the Critical Incident Reported).
* Marked effect: One to two weeks (To observe trends).
* Optimal effect: One to two months (To change style of thinking).

The way you feel when under stress
My diagnosis and its implications:

* You scored high here:
o Your appreciation of an event and your feelings are interrelated
o Each affects the other adversely.
o You may be exhibiting depressive traits.
o You are prone to disappointment, criticism and anger.
o You are often judgmental and rigid.
o These traits will drive away the support you need.

My recommendation:

* I recommend that you record the feelings you felt with each Critical Incident.
* That you analyze the justification for each feeling. You need to routinely analyze:
o Anger.
o Criticism.
o Disappointment.
* To repeat enough Critical Incidents to be able to observe trends in your feelings.
* The e-Group will give you assistance, advice and support.

The benefits that this will bring you:

* An awareness of your emotions.
* What effects they have on you.
* How appropriate they are.
* Trends in the way you react.
* An ability to internalize and change the way you feel.
* Support from the e-Group.

The time involved if you choose myRay:

* immediate effect: is not marked.
* Marked effect: One to two weeks (To observe trends).
* Optimal effect: One to two months (To change the now internalized material).

The way you experience stressful events
My diagnosis and its implications

* You scored high here:
* You may be having problems with:
o Control.
o Responsibility.
o Guilt.
o How much you want to be in the given situation.

My recommendation:

* I recommend that you re-evaluate how much control responsibility and blame that you feel. They should be proportionate to each other. It should be very clear just how much you really wanted to participate in the event leading up to the Critical Incident.
* You will notice marked differences in your feelings of, and the balance between, control, responsibility and guilt.
* The e-Group will give you assistance, advice and support.

The benefits that this will bring you:

* An appreciation of the need for balance between all the parameters.
* The results, if consistently the same, give you the opportunity and reasons to start considering making basic changes in how you relate to situations in general.
* You may start to consider general but fundamental changes in your life.
* The e-Group will give you assistance, advice and support.

The time involved if you choose myRay:

* immediate effect: is not marked.
* Marked effect: One to two weeks (To observe trends).
* Optimal effect: One to two months (To change and digest the now internalized material).

e-Group
My recommendation:

* I recommend the e-Group because:
o Very often you will feel the need to share with someone.
o It is easier to be more open when writing, than in face-to-face relationships.

The benefits that this will bring you:

* Anonymity.
* Immediacy.
* Mutual support.

The time involved:

* As often and as long as you and your fellow e-Group members want.
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