So I’m feeling a little down. Well, a lot down. Something uplifting for me is reading. So, I’m reading the Dresden Files. Jim Butcher’s first book in the series is Storm Front. I open to chapter 18 and read:
Have you ever felt despair? Absolute hopelessness? Have you ever stood in the darkness and known, deep in your heart, in your spirit, that it was never, ever going to get better?…
[Source, Storm Front (Dresden Files), Chapter 18]
Chronic stress means waking up more tired than when you fell asleep.
They say Xanax is addictive but I’ve found that once you hit 10mg you can stave off the desire to make the dosage higher by simply taking more frequent 10mg dosages throughout the day. Addiction averted!
It’s not OCD. Waffles just taste better if every square has butter in it.
For you sadsacks out there, today is International Day of Happiness. Perk up! Let’s spread some joy.
"Happiness may have different meanings for different people. But we can all agree that it means working to end conflict, poverty and other unfortunate conditions in which so many of our fellow human beings live."
Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon
Message for the International Day of Happiness, 20 March 2014
That’s right folks! You can give up your $200/hr therapist. All you need is chatroulette.com.
Online psychotherapy is just as efficient as conventional therapy, University of Zurich clinical researchers have found in a study of online psychotherapy vs. conventional face-to-face therapy.
And three months after the end of the therapy, patients given online treatment even displayed fewer symptoms.
[Source, Kurzweil Accelerating Intelligence, Psychotherapy via Internet found as good as or better than face-to-face]
There is an inexplicable weight to me today…a sadness out of nowhere for no reason. Perhaps this is a side affect of skipping my blood pressure medicine for the second day in a row. Perhaps this is a result of setting the bar too high for the weekend and my subconscious is lamenting the "failed" tasks. I believe weekends should be relaxing and recuperative but too often I pressure myself with unachievable mental todo lists which steal from the relaxing times. That doesn’t really fit the bill for this weekend. This weekend was relaxing and fantastic! Perhaps its my staticy headphones and poor music choices today. Perhaps I need a win. Micromilestones to the rescue!
I need a mental health day in a bad way.
Is the depression low or high?
I’ve come to the end of a genuine two week vacation. I’m very relaxed (except a dog is whining at me trying to shake my calm). It would be easy to slip into a state of anxiety because the list of things I didn’t accomplish that I wanted to over the break is very large. Depressingly so. But the list of things that I did accomplish, including days committed to sleeping in and chillin’, is substantial. This break included the Christmas holiday of course so time was committed to preparing for the day including shopping, wrapping and cleaning. This break included playing games with the children (albeit not enough..2013 shall include more play time with the children) and visiting relatives. This break included an overnight camping trip that started at 32°F and dropped to 22°F then rose to 42°F. It was cold and a sore knee had me concerned that the hike out would be too difficult but the trip was probably the best thing for the knee (2013 shall include more exercise).
For my final Sunday of my vacation, I plan only one thing. Anything else is bonus. The one thing I will accomplish today is to plan a cub scout meeting.
Remember that physics class in college with the really cool machine that would stretch the metal rods until the deformed and snapped. Yup. I’m the rod.
My mind is so stressed that I cannot work; I must work to reduce my stress.
I think my head is going to explode.
I have just completed a wonderful vacation, yet I find myself so stressed that I cannot think straight and an unclear mind does not lend well to eliminating the causes of the stress. Stress in this regard is a self-perpetuating disorder. Once upon a time, a hunter in the field was met unexpected by a herd of lion too numerous for the hunter to engage. Fight or flight stimulus, aka stress, kicked in and the hunter fled to safety where his adrenaline returned to normal levels and the hunter calmed. In today’s society, our stress response rarely eases and our body and mind suffer. I have been under constant stress for twenty years. I am ready to escape to safety. I want to know calm.