I want a boyfriend!

Yes, I’ve decided I want a boyfriend. Man seeks man. That’s right. I want someone to spend long hours with me as my close companion. I want to get greasy with my boyfriend. I want to be rough. I want to share manly experiences! I think our first date should be spending a long day together outside. Specifically I think we should focus our time around the parked Jeep in the driveway. Wouldn’t it be exciting to take the engine off the motor mounts and ever so gingerly drop it down at a sexy angle which would allow us to bang the freeze plug back into the head? After we remount the engine and charge up the battery, we could re-lube the hubs on the trailer, pump the tires with air, then take a leisurely drive to Home Depot and purchase supplies to build a carport and shed which we would use to organize the driveway, arrange our tools, and clean out the garage in only a way that men know how. With the garage and driveway clean, and knowing our tools are properly hung, we could then proceed with getting muddy with the drywall. I can think of so many ways we could spend quality time together! Yes, I need a boyfriend!