Boys like to blow stuff up, don’t kno why, but this will b fun. Watch it crumble on Monday. Corinthian fall
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Year: 2007
Juggling Urges
I have taken to practicing juggling in the carpool line. My 5 ball juggling has really started to clean up and today I started trying to work a couple of behind the back throws into the 5 ball routine. I’ll practice many things in the carpool line. I haven’t done anythings scary yet but still the mothers in the carpool will get out of their cars and chat with one another all while avoiding me. So yes, sometimes I do get the urge to juggle machetes.
Thanks Willful!
Dear Substitute Bus Driver
If you are going to lie and claim that you stopped at the two stops which you didn’t even slow down for, you better be able to substantiate it! And how is it that your bus appeared so empty? Were no children at any of your stops today? An official complaint has been filed with the transportation department. Next time stop your bus even if you do not see any children at the stop.
If you are a Knoxville parent searching for ways to deal with busing issues, be sure to put the transportation department’s phone number, 865-594-1550, in your cell phone’s address book. We would have fewer busing issues if the school owned the buses instead of contracting them.
Update: The bus did eventually pickup the high schoolers. Turns out their official stop is on the other side of Northshore Drive and roughly 80m (120feet) walk down a busy, overgrown, narrow road with no sidewalks. This would be the section of road with 2 crosses and piles of roadkill. So the substitute driver likely stopped at only official stops. I have to file paperwork to make the stop that the bus has stopped at for at least 7 years into an "official" stop.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I had my chance.
Master: There are more chances to come.
Windows Knows How to Make Me Angry
Nothing gets my goat quite like walking away from the computer only to find that it decided to reboot itself. I didn’t give permission to do that! And I definitely didn’t give it permission to lose my browser session. I had those 20 some odd web pages open for a reason!
Morning Sex Is Like Russian Roulette
Warning! Turn your virgin eyes away! The following allegory alludes to one of the three taboo subjects which should never be discussed outside the walls of your own home. I happen to be typing this from within the confirms of those walls so its kind of okay. Today’s taboo subject is sex! As for the other taboo subjects, I posted about drugs on Friday and post about politics far too much.
What guy doesn’t dream of his daily alarm clock being a beautiful nymphomaniac using the bed as a trampoline while yelling "ride ’em cowgirl!"? Guys in late high school and throughout their college years love to joke about their morning wood. But these young turks are single and naive for it is not morning "wood." The term is "morning would." Because you would if you could but you can’t because if you try you die. It’s similar to the praying mantis
"Placing them in the same jar, the male, in alarm, endeavoured to escape. In a few minutes the female succeeded in grasping him. She first bit off his front tarsus, and consumed the tibia and femur. Next she gnawed out his left eye…it seems to be only by accident that a male ever escapes alive from the embraces of his partner" Leland Ossian Howard, Science, 1886. [Source, The Female Praying Mantis: Sexual Predator or Misunderstood by Michele Doughty See also, You Give Love A Bad Name]
Or perhaps the spider.
in over 60% of cases the female then eats the male. [Source]
So in the morning when you arise, just observe your wife in her restful bliss, put the gun down, and go, uh, read the newspaper.
Quote of the Day
This made me laugh hysterically.
“We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.†Robert Wilensky
Thanks to JBB of Lumbering Through Life! As an aside, I disagree with stance that Twitter’s 140 character limit is in place as an etiquette and means of keeping thoughts concise. The 140 character limit is to enable Twitter to send message by SMS and keep the message within a single text message. I believe different people are finding different uses for Twitter. I have chosen not to follow a couple of people because of their topic choices and style. I think Twitter’s will fall into 3 groups: self-promoters and linkers (using Twitter to post URLs to blogs and websites), news/media alerts, and voyeurs/exhibitionists/chatters. The first group, the linkers, will use Twitter to promote traffic to their own sites or sites interest them. The news/media alerts will be a group sharing relevant information that is happening now. The chatters will use Twitter as a replacement or complement to IRC and the instant messengers. Not everyone will enjoy the style of all three groups.
Update: My wife agrees with jbb.
Twitter is killing my blog!
If you ask me about blogging, I will tell you to pay for your own hosting, buy a domain name, and use WordPress (.org)! My primary reason for this advice is so that you have maximum control and ownership of the content you produce. When you host with Blogger, or even at WordPress.com, you relinquish control of your content to a third party. They might close your account for a violation of terms of service and then you have lost your content or access to your drafts. They might close shop and you also lose your years of hard work.
Getting the balance of posts right for your readers is tough. Post too frequently and your readers will skim or skip (or worse, unsubscribe!) and miss your best posts. Post infrequently and your readers will go away. When Twitter first hit the scene, I didn’t get it. Frankly, I still take issue with Twitter because we are relying on a third party to manage our content but Twitter is addictive! I find myself making those short updates to Twitter while reserving my blog for longer commentary. I used to make one sentence posts to my blog and liter it with frequent updates. Twitter has changed the way I blog. And people have noticed!
Blog early and often! [Jack Lail]
That unpostable post
Every now and then then muse hits me and I wax eloquently, laughing aloud as Pulitzer prose and allegory flow forth from my fingertips. I declare, "this is the post that will bring me fame!" Then I read it. Blink. And think, "I can’t publish that!" And that is why I have 145 drafts that will never see the light of day!
People come here for rezoning, earthquakes, drivers and marijuana
I’ve been watching my stats after installing the WordPress.com Stats plugin. It would appear people come to Reality Me to read about Knox County School Rezoning, the New Madrid fault line, the Realtek 8201 CL driver, and the marijuana cave.
Ze’s Alive!
Ze Frank brings it home on social networking!
USS Enterprise NCC-1701-420
To boldly stoned where no man…zombies!
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – Korean-born actor John Cho of "Harold & Kumar" fame has been cast as Sulu in the new "Star Trek" feature, playing a role immortalized by Japanese-American actor George Takei.
Additionally, Briton Simon Pegg (“Shaun of the Dead”) has boarded the Paramount project as Scotty, the ship’s Scottish chief engineer. [Source]
Dude, maybe they forgot the mission. "Star Trek? I dunno. Like some space spoof my grandparents watched. I think that Boston Legal guy was in it. Wanna get a burger?"
Update: Logtar has a list of the entire cast. That’s right. The new Star Trek crew is Sylar (brain sucker), Shaun (zombie killer), a pirate, Bruce Banner (you know..The Hulk), a murderer, and Harold Lee (herb that’s outta this world). They’ve boldly gone… (It’s actually a very good cast!)
Update: Kirill, (another killer) will be joining the cast. Thanks to Cinemagical for the Star Trek update and thanks to Cathy for the heads up.
Post narration: [audio:http://realityme.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/[audio:http://realityme.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/gwtakes2008withedits.mp3]
The Internet Can Shutdown Now
Best comment e’var!
Somewhere, a fat, nerdy kid with a broom stick in hand feels utterly vindicated. [Source by Jon]
The comment was a response to the The Most Amazing Video Of A Girl Playing Star Wars On The Trumpet… EVER video seen below.
From the mouths of babes
Noah: "Health ended today."
Dad: "Oh? Did you have sex education?"
Noah: "Sorta."
Dad: "Did they talk to you about boy parts and girl parts?"
Noah: "They talked about boy parts. I missed the day they talked about girl parts."
Dad: "Sex education was only two days?!"
Just real people
Yes, we are THAT family. The one who inspires movies like Little Miss Sunshine. We are living the dream!
