Student: I wish it was painless.
Master: If it was painless, you could be dreaming.
Category: Philosophy
Think deep.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: No one listens anyway.
Master: Then shutup and be a good example.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I can’t make my wife happy.
Master: Take it elsewhere bud! I deal in philosophy and morals, not mysticism.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Taking my anger out on other people makes me feel worse.
Master: Doesn’t do much for the other person either.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I was tested and failed.
Master: Sometimes lessons look like tests.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Do guns hurt people?
Master: Guns don’t hurt people. Dick Cheney hurts people. [Source]
see also: Commentary on the Cheney shooting
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Who am I?
Master: You are the embodiment of how others perceive you. Be true.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: Why so many obsticles?
Master: The uncommon road has heavy tolls.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I can’t get on task.
Master: Be more specific.
Who are you? Fabled.
I like the traveler but I fear I see more and more rancher’s everyday.
Like Beer? Gonna get a beer belly?
For you beer fans, now there’s a product for you! Since you are going to get a beer belly anyway, might as well make it useful right?
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I can’t make my wife happy.
Master: As I can’t make you happy.
TN School Notes
16. Please excuse jennifer foR missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We
thought it was sunday.
Source, James Runner up:
3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I’m losing hope.
Master: Perhaps you should hold onto something more tangible.
Of Grasshoppers
Student: I feel like a bad man.
Master: Are you?
