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Internet has ruined nudity!

The human form, particularly the female form, is beautiful! All shapes sizes colors. It doesn’t matter. They hang in our art galleries, appear in photographic journals, hang on the walls of our homes (most fun thing to say at a friend’s house “so, is that your wife?” answer “yes”), are used in advertisement, sculptures, and so many other places. Nudity is art. I think religion was first to try to ruin the human body. Granted, some Pagan religions actually celebrate nudity. But the Internet succeeded where religion failed. How? Religion made it taboo and that raises curiosity actually making the forbidden object/fruit/alcohol/drug more desirable. The Internet threw it in our faces making it meh.

When I was a child to understand the human body, you had to sneak a peek at your friend’s father’s 2 or 3 adult magazines (if you could find them), or squint your eyes at the fuzz on the scrambled Playboy channel (how do you think The Magic Eye pictures were discovered?), we read National Geographic hoping the photographer that month had visited Africa, examined medical books (thank goodness Mom was studying nursing!), looked at how to take photography books (thank goodness my grandfather was a photo nut!), and found clubhouses in the woods with walls plastered with pages from Hustler, Playboy, Oui!, and other magazines (and yes, the woods had these treasure troves..what do children do without woods now-a-days? Oh, right, they have the Internet!).

What brought me here today? A leg cramp. Last night my left calf spasmed nearly bringing tears to my eyes. I sat up in bed and grabbed my leg pressing my palm hard against the muscle. I tried stretching the muscle and relaxing the muscle, pointing the toes down and up, and it laughed in my face and wriggled beneath my palm as if infested with a thousand alien worms. I needed water and a banana. This seemed to go on forever and deemed a post. I sought a picture to accompany the post by Googling calf muscle. Clicked a link (NSFW). And uttered these words aloud: Oh, I like the bridge! Apparently, I now see dolphins again.

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Rabbit, rabbit

I toyed with superstitions as a child. The common ones: walking under a ladder is bad luck, always put your right shoe on first, breaking a mirror will get you 7 years bad luck (I still twitch at the thought of breaking a mirror), 4 leaf clovers are good luck, and I even owned a rabbit foot (not so lucky for the rabbit). There were some other more ritualistic superstitions I had but they’ve slipped my brain. I challenged the walking under a ladder by setting one up and intentionally going under it 100 times or so (which is probably part of why my life as unfolded the way it did). I used to find it very relaxing to sit in a clover patch and seek out a 4 leaf clover. When I’d find one, I’d stick it in the L section of the dictionary on the page that had the definition for luck. Will we have to buy two Kindles in the future to press flowers?

Today, KristyK taught me a new one when she published "rabbit, rabbit" on Facebook. I almost let it go as someone just being silly on the Internet but she had a comment talking about remembering to say it. Why would you say it? Thanks to the power of Google and Wikipedia, I now understand.

…a common superstition, held particularly among children. The most common modern version states that a person should say “rabbit, rabbit, white rabbit” upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the remainder of that month. [Source, Wikipedia, Rabbit rabbit]

Dare I teach "rabbit rabbit white rabbit" to my children?

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Parent mistake #78314

Inheritance

There are a few things I inherited from my father. He is still alive. I am talking about genetically and behaviorally. For instance, I have his hair. Fortunately for me he still has his so odds are baldness is not in my future. Not that I’m saying anything about hairlessness. Bald is cool. Shoot for the past week I’ve been thinking about shaving my head. It’s the economy stupid. I also got his intelligence even if my wife cannot see it. The words "god damn" came from him. Despite my efforts to remove that from my vocabulary, I seem intent on passing that legacy to my children. It’s reflexive particularly when the stress is up. Ever since I started taking blood pressure medicine, I have become acutely aware of when the stress is up. Don’t get me wrong. Before the blood pressure medicine I was well aware of my mental state and knew when the stress was up. But now I feel it differently. Yesterday I could feel the blood coursing through my veins. Prior to the blood pressure medicine I was less aware of the tension in my arms and chest but it was there and constant. I should fart more. Or get the wife to calm me down more frequently.

Yesterday, knowing my blood pressure and stress were up, I struggled to keep myself in check. This morning, I overslept and was simply not awake enough to be responsive instead of reactionary.

I’m bigger and louder than you so I’m right

Amy will be seven in just over a month. Her sister, who turns 16 in June, has taught Amy teenager behaviors that she shouldn’t know. Then there is the inheritance thing. After all, she is my child. And she has my temper. And stubbornness. And those pretty blue eyes. This morning I had but one focus: get Amy ready for school and out the door on time. Considering I overslept, we were pressed for time. I was so focused on doing my job of being a father I forgot to actually be a father. After I dropped a teary eyed child off at school, I finally realized that this morning Amy needed to be in control. In control of what? Anything. It wouldn’t have mattered but instead of being that television dad who instantly has the wisdom and humility to help his child, I became the unruly dictator and drill sergeant who bullies his children as objects instead of sensitive beings. I yelled, I cursed, I threatened to throw toys away, and I produced tears on demand from what minutes earlier had been two happy, joyful children. Yes it was abusive. And wrong. And unnecessary. And I feel horrible. She had a need and did not know how to express it. She needed to be in control. She took this control by taking her brother’s toy. All I had to do we redirect her and give her the chance to make some choices and decisions and, in effect, be in control. Instead I taught her that you can be in control by raging, raising your voice, cursing, and threatening. I get no dad points today. Raising children is tough but you shouldn’t raise the dead and wake the house in the process. Last week I secretly vowed to myself to never raise my voice in anger to the children again. No. It wasn’t just the children. I vowed to never raise my voice in anger to anyone ever again. I failed. Can I have a Mulligan? Amy, I’m sorry.

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What’s your working environment like?

I’ve just been stabbed with two light sabers and now am watching a laundry basket be dragged up the stairs then dropped down the stairs followed by a cackling laugh. Rinse. Repeat. I wonder how many times he has to do this before he realizes he could be sitting in the laundry basket when it goes down. Thank goodness the hospital has free wifi.

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He said, “Let there be pizza!”

…and there was Domino’s, with their Two-fer Tuesday online coupon. And I was all over that. (Dominos on Tuesdays has become a tradition that the children have come to expect and all because of that coupon) Domino’s has an excellent online ordering site albeit a little slow. You can also order from a regular mobile phone or smart phone with an Internet connection with ease. Domino’s impressed me!

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Swine Flu Started by an American Company

That dirty pig farm in Mexico which is the suspected source of the swine flu…it’s 50% owned by the American company Smithfield.

A lot of pig shit is one thing; a lot of highly toxic pig shit is another. The excrement of Smithfield hogs is hardly even pig shit: On a continuum of pollutants, it is probably closer to radioactive waste than to organic manure. The reason it is so toxic is Smithfield’s efficiency. The company produces 6 billion pounds of packaged pork each year. That’s a remarkable achievement, a prolificacy unimagined only two decades ago, and the only way to do it is to raise pigs in astonishing, unprecedented concentrations. [Source, RollingStone, Boss Hog ]

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Mind blowing stopped action commercial for Phillips Cinema 21:9 TV

This video is beyond excellent! I cannot wait to go behind the scenes and understand how they manage to pull this off. The angles, all the action, the perfectly timed sound effects, and even the story told without words. Their subject matter is well chosen! I wish I had the talent to make such artwork.

Created entirely by Stink Digital, this new interactive campaign promotes Philips latest entrant into the television market, the CINEMA 21:9. Since the televisions 21:9 frame lends itself so readily to film, our friends at Tribal DDB, Amsterdam commissioned us to create a piece of filmed content that could hold its own with Hollywoods best. Director Adam Berg responded with an idea for an epic frozen moment cops and robbers shootout sequence that included clowns, explosions, a decimated hospital, and plenty of broken glass and bullet casings.

This epic film is the centrepiece of the project. On its own, it clocks in at a (totally coincidental) two minutes and 19 seconds, but Berg conceived it to work as an endless loop.

[Source, Youtube, Carousel, directed by Adam Berg (Stink Digital)]

Note some hidden references like "219" on the back of the police car. See more at http://www.cinema.philips.com/, http://www.stinkdigital.tv/work/view/selected/carousel and http://www.stinkdigital.tv/

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New Swine Flu Cases

A visual inspection of the swine flu map reveals that last night another suspected case was added to North Carolina (closer to the TN border! Here it comes), 6 suspected cases were added to South Carolina, 5 confirmed cases were added to New Jersey (a neighbor is traveling in NJ right now…will he bring it to TN?). Michigan adds a suspected case along with its confirmed case.

Just for the count, New York City has 7 suspected cases and 7 confirmed.