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  • Filed under, “Not good foreplay!”

    Seven pounds

    (should have been named Two Tons of Bricks)

  • Today’s Programming Advice – Code for the impossible

    Always code for the impossible case! The impossible tends to happen surprisingly often. The programming language is irrelevant. Whether you code in C, C++, F#, ColdFusion, PHP, JavaScript, or whatever, conditional statements and case statements should always accommodate the unexpected value.

    Right now I am dealing with some code that involves a list of 1 or more items. The actionable part of the code involves clicking on one of the items in the list therefore at least 1 item must exist. Having zero items is impossible because if there were no items then I could not click on the item to start the actionable part of the code. So why waste time coding of the zero items case? This is not the best example since this is a multi-user, client/server web application and the zero case can be created quite simply by having two users pull up the same list and then one user deletes an item before the other. But that answers the question of why waste time coding for the impossible? Because it does happen. My code frequently has conditional statements that end with a default case or a special case that simply outputs "This is impossible. Please contact the administrator." and includes some debugging information. In my career, doing this has saved me hours and hours of debugging time on more than a couple of occasions.

  • I’m moving to France!

    This probably isn’t safe for work. The New York one has a bit of a disturbing aspect to it. The France one feels more fun.

    Thank you Internet!

    (Apparently this happens in New York too Seen at Synthtopia)

    Update: Jon found an interview on Pitchfork with the co-directors (Taylor Cohen and Otto Arsenault) and stars (Matt and Kim). Don’t forget, France has healthcare!

    Update: Some links- Make the Girl Dance MySpace page, Make the Girl Dance blog, and the unofficial Matt and Kim video.

  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: All I ever wanted was to be great.
    Master: Niagara Falls is great. So is a drop of dew on a single blade of grass.

  • Sounds like…embarrassing

    Noah has done so well with his phone that I was considering canceling the insurance plan on it (which is $4.95/mth with a $50 deductible..can you say ripoff? I knew you could!) So naturally, despite placing it in a ziplock bag, Noah soaked his phone at Dollywood. In this day and age, with five children including socially active teens, cell phones have moved beyond convenient toys to necessary family organizing tools. The rule of the house is that if you lose or damage your phone before your scheduled upgrade, you get a clunker from the boneyard in the garage. Noah ended up with an antique Siemens (phones are now BenQ). After complaining about the pixelated screen, he tried to pronounce the company name:

    Noah: "Sigh sigh mens"
    I interrupt, "It’s pronounced sea mens."
    Noah: chuckles
    Me: "Yeah, like that."

    How could I forget about the funny homophones of middle school! Ew, better not say homophone around Noah.

  • Juggling for the Elementary School

    I had a great day of juggling this morning. Since Clown Day was canceled, the school invited me to participate in their Field Day event so I had an opportunity to juggle for each of the 1st grade classes which mean 20 or so students each time (about 20 minutes) for about 5 classes. The juggling went pretty well without too many horrid mistakes. Amy even did the hand game in which she stands with both feet in one of my hands and balances above my head.

    The finish to the day was a bit of bummer. The principal had okay’d juggling fire out of the baseball field but nix’d it when I went home to have lunch. I returned and the teachers had gathered the students but I had nothing to show them. I’d run through most of my tricks, gags, and jokes between the classes. With all the students gathered together outside I really didn’t have anything they had not already seen. So I pulled out the diabolo and tried to reproduce the Clement Hall days. See, in college I juggle a lot. I mean an absurd amount of juggling. And I was fit, toned, and on my game. I once threw a diabolo higher than 8 stories and caught it on a string. I know this because a friend who lived on the 8th floor said he kept seeing this thing fly past his window and he looked down to see me in the court yard catching it. Today wasn’t so good. It went high but got missed several times. Anxious to give them a little more, I pulled out the crystal balls. I never perform with the crystal balls because my contact juggling is super sloppy and when trying to juggling 5 crystal balls I tend to scatter them more than catch them. And that’s what happened today. So the close act was rubber chickens. I must do better next year. The laser light juggling spectacular will be ready ready READY! Moral of the story? Quit while you’re ahead. When they canceled fire I should have said we were done for the day. But like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a true artist has to always go for the next level.

    Now my swing shift Tuesday begins. Between now and midnight I’m programming with one break for an errand around dinner.

  • Miso Soup

    I made miso soup for the first time tonight. I have to say, it’s not half bad! Next I’m going to try to make my own sushi.

  • Fm gb

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  • Of Grasshoppers

    Student: Where’s my Mr. Miyagi?
    Master: Look in the Yellow Pages under "psychologist" and expect to pay $150 an hour. You don’t really think you can get sage advice for honey-do’s and car washes, do you?!

  • Another Rotten Mother’s Day

    Once upon a time, I was actually a romantic, thoughtful guy. These past years I have failed miserably to take care of my wife on holidays. Today was no different. I basically ignored Mother’s Day in favor of working. This will come back to haunt me one day. At least the children pulled through this year and acknowledged her.

  • Juggling at the Zoo today

    Children’s Mental Health Week has rolled around the calendar again. In about 2 hours, I’ll be on a stage near Knoxville Zoo’s Tiger Tops juggling knives, fire and chickens and if I do this right I finish with lunch! It’s going to be 78° outside so I’m wearing wool tuxedo pants. My teenager daughter is sobbing because she has to be with her family instead of her boyfriend. Gotta go.

  • Star Trek – JJ Abrams Hits a Homerun!

    Spoiler free!

    My wife had but one request for her birthday (this coming Tuesday–she’ll be 21!) and that was a date to see J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek on opening night. A little luck, a babysitter and some Fandango magic later and Cathy and I had a date tonight! Star Trek officially opens tomorrow, the 8th, which with any other movie means the first showing is at midnight. Apparently, Hollywood recognized us old guys have jobs and families and did pre-release showings as early as 7:00pm. We hit the 7:30pm and us old guys it was! At first there didn’t appear to be anyone under 30 in the theater. For that matter, our theater closely resembled a Star Trek convention. We had munchkins, a blind lady, an albino (whom I went to college with and haven’t seen for like 15 years), grandparents supervising the 30 year olds, and a couple of guys who sounded like regulars for voice overs of Star Trek convention spoof videos spouting off Trek trivia.

    The actual movie

    Cathy said it first but I agree: Fans of the original Star Trek are going to absolutely LOVE this movie! It is packed full of references to the original TV series including one character that I wanted to reach out to and scream, "But don’t you understand! You’re wearing a red shirt!" People not familiar with the Star Trek franchise will see a technically good movie and should enjoy it but will miss the subtle inside jokes and references except for when the audience cheers at a few trademark lines. Live long and prosper!

  • What does this symbol mean?

    utterli-image
    Tree with a moon.

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    Update: I had a wonderful response to this question here, on Twitter, and at Utterli! It appears that the symbol is the state symbol for the Palmetto State – South Carolina. In researching TN’s state symbol, I’ve discovered it is an elephant stomping on two halves of a broken donkey.